TV

“Pretty Little Liars” recap (6.8): Gallery of Poor Life Choices

Previously on Pretty Little Liars, Sara moved out so she could get closer to Emily, which doesn’t make sense really until you remember that Sara probably has an eighth grade education. Who am I kidding, everyone on this show has an eighth grade education. OR AT LEAST THEY ACT LIKE IT. Also, Spencer accidently drugged Toby, although is marijuana really a drug? The answer is yes, especially if you consume a whole bag of edibles.

Anyhoozle, we pick up right where we left off, with the Liars fresh from their abandoned arcade escapade. Since Ali spilled the A game to the police, the local news is awash with A and Charles and everybody’s business is on front street. How weird is it to hear newscasters say Charles…or A for that matter? The news peoples speculate that Charles probably killed Ali’s mom, and let’s be real, they’re probably right.

Ali doesn’t want to believe that her own (albeit crazypants) brother would kill their mother, but Hanna is quick to call out Charles for being the evil sack of crap we all know he is. Hanna is dropping truth bombs, and she doesn’t care who they land on.

The next day, Hanna presses Ashley about the mystery scholarship, and Ashley tells her to talk to Mr. DiLaurentis before she goes flushing this college money down the toilet. Unfortunately, the press are swarming his office, so they’ll have to wait another day to get in touch.

Over at the Brew 2.0, Clark is grilling Aria about the arcade stand-off while Ezra eavesdrops. Ella is back from Out Of Town and has decided that the family should stick together and go to Mike’s sports banquet (UGH) instead of Aria’s photo finalist gallery show. Ezra tells Aria that he’s suspicious of Clark, which LOLOLOL are you even serious, dude? Is Ezra “true crime chickpea secret lair collection of hoodies serial dater of underage girls” Fitz suspicious? He offers to be Aria’s bodyguard, but she interprets that as inviting Tanner and all the police to her art show and scampers off before he can correct her.

Lorenzo’s arm is in a sling, and Ali has brought him some soup. She’s upset that her father is spilling his guts to Tanner while she barely knows what’s going on. Lorenzo offers to ask his friend on the force for help, and kisses Ali. Blegh.

Hanna is still spinning out about her scholarship, which is pretty ridiculous. I mean, Charles put a chip in her neck! Now she’s shitting a brick over free money? Priorities Hanna, please. Spencer gets the brilliant idea to return Hanna’s scholarship as a way to get into the Carissimi group. Did I say brilliant? I meant garbage. Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ, Spencer! Not everyone can afford college, and you’re all too ready to piss away Hanna’s scholarship just to sleuth? What a Lannister move. The next thing you know, Spencer will put a black hoodie on that fucking check and accuse it of being A.

Aria shows her photos to Tanner, who does a better job critiquing art than she does solving crime. Tanner promises Ella that she’ll send all the cops to the art show and keep everyone safe, so Ella finally relents and lets Aria go to the show.

Meanwhile, Black Hoodie watches security cam footage of the art gallery when he is joined by Red Coat! They’re working together! So there’s definitely two people on the A-team. But why didn’t we see Red Coat in the dollhouse? What’s the connection? Is it Charles and Bethany? Is it Charles and Sara? Is it Pepe and Tippi?! Two more weeks, folks.

Emily is hanging out at Aria’s house, where Aria is trying to decide what dress to wear to the art show. Emily finds a garment bag with Aria’s prom dress in it, and tells Aria that all the PLL moms got an email from the school. Apparently, Rosewood High thinks that the Liars are a security threat and is considering banning them from prom. Seems unfair and victim-blamey…CLASSIC Rosewood!

Aria asks Emily to be her prom date, with promises of matching corsages and slow dances, but Emily has her mind set on asking Sara, despite the fact that A) she doesn’t even go here B) they haven’t had a first date and C) prom doesn’t take place in a shower.

Across town, Spencer and Hanna go to meet with Rhys Matthews, who works at the Carissimi group. This scene exemplifies why I love the Spencer/Hanna pairing so much; without Emily and/or Aria to ground them, they just whip each other up into a paranoid frenzy and bounce off the walls and it’s glorious to watch. Hanna demands a bubbly water and assumes that the mirror is two-way glass. Spencer screams that she’s ridiculous and throws paper just as Rhys (a dead ringer for Jason) walks in.

Back at Lorenzo’s pad, Ali offers to stay and do his dishes and laundry while he takes his pain pills and conks out on the couch. Ali, just because you’re dressing like a mom doesn’t mean you have to act like one.

Aria and Emily are lying next to each other in bed, staring at the ceiling and talking about Em kissing Sara. Emily is worried that Sara will freak out, but Aria tells her to invite her to join their prom group, as it will be more low-key. Emily asks if Aria is okay going stag to prom, and Aria says she doesn’t mind. She doesn’t need a date. And it only took her 6 seasons to get here. Yay!

Rhys wants to know why Hanna is giving back her FREE college money, so Hanna bullshits about multiple offers and leprechauns with pots of tuition gold. Spencer wants to thank Mr. Carissimi for his generosity and tries to wheedle out some contact info, but Rhys remains tight-lipped. Hanna takes a stealth photo of him for the other Liars. They leave, 30 grand poorer and with zero answers.

Ali finishes the laundry and steals Lorenzo’s police ID card. That’s the Alison we know and love!

It’s time for the gallery show! Everyone is there: cops, undercover cops, cops that climb on rocks. Aria runs into Ezra, and impulsively asks him to be her prom date before remembering that he used to teach at the same school. Before he can answer, they’re interrupted by Nicole, the Aussie Habitat for Humanity girl. Aria sees Ezra with a same-age love interest and promptly scurries away.

She bumps into Clark, who is there sans friends or parents or family, which means he’s probably on the A-team. Prove your personhood, Clark! They are interrupted by the fiercest bald woman, who reminds us of the contest prizes and opens the artist display. Instead of a series of creepy doll photos, Charles has replaced Aria’s work with pics of the Liars unconscious on those metal morgue tables from the dollhouse. The Liars are hit with flashbacks as they’re forced to come face to face with the images of their imprisonment.

The police cordon off the area while Tanner investigates and Ella freaks out. The pieces are labeled “Stolen Dolls” with a note in Spanish that refers to them not being pretty (rude!) and Tanner’s Latina heritage. Tanner thinks Charles is sending her a personal message, but Ella is furious that they are no closer to protecting the girls or capturing Charles.

As the cops cart off the photos, Hanna refuses to stop looking at them. She sees Rhys in his car on the phone, and the Liars (sans Aria) decide to follow him.

Ali sneaks into the police station and lets herself into the investigation room. She sees boards and photos and charts and finds her baby rattle, before Tanner busts her. Tanner is like, “you’ve crossed the line”, which is rich considering she imprisoned Ali and spent the last few seasons treating the Liars like sketchy garbage. I think Alison DiLaurentis has earned an hour in the evidence room Tanner, don’t you?

Ali and Tanner continue to face off in the evidence room, but Ali has traded her bravado for straight talk and honesty. She wants to know what they know about Charles, and whether or not the cops are going to kill him. Ali is desperate to understand her brother, to at least know him before the police take him out. She’s convinced there has to be a soul inside the monster, and she’s willing to crawl right into his trap to find it.

Ezra comforts Aria after the gallery debacle, and assures her that he’s not dating Nicole, presumably because she’s too old for him. He tells her that Charles is getting desperate, but Aria tells him that she still feels the cold metal chill of those morgue tables in her heart and soul and wishes her family never left Iceland. You know life is bad when you’d rather be stranded on a glacier with Byron Montgomery.

The Liars tail Rhys to one of Rosewood’s many abandoned warehouses, and wait outside as he steps in. They watch as Clark drives up and walks into the warehouse. No, not this sketchy dude we’ve known for 4 episodes!

Ali sneaks back into Lorenzo’s place, where he confronts her about stealing his ID. He’s all butthurt and betrayed, but Alison DiLaurentis is nobody’s fool, and if she’s doing your laundry and bringing you soup, you better believe she’s getting something out of the deal. I love that Lorenzo is all pissy considering he’s DATING A TEENAGER.

Ella shows up at Ashley’s house for some tea, in tears because she finally realized what show she was on and how helpless everything is. She tells Ashley that they have to do something to protect their girls, while Red Coat creepily watches them from outside. I would love to see a PLL supercut of all the times the camera has pulled back to reveal that the Liars and friends were being spied on.

The Liars go to Aria’s house and struggle to tell her about Clark. Tanner watches security footage from the gallery and sees the back of Rhys or Jason’s (or a mannequin’s) head moving around the art.

Finally, we see Black Hoodie loading a tuxedo bag, rope, and a syringe kit into the back of a limo. Red Coat is behind the wheel, and hands BH some prom tickets. Looks like prom is gonna be a killer time!

Two more weeks until A/Charles is revealed! Share your conspiracy theories with me @chelseaprocrast

As always, a huge thanks to Nicole @PLLBigA for her awesome screengrabs. You are the Red Coat to my Black Hoodie…or the Black Hoodie to my Red Coat? Either way, we’re going to prom.

Lesbian Apparel and Accessories Gay All Day sweatshirt -- AE exclusive

Related Articles

Leave a Reply

Back to top button