“Clipped” recap (1.7): Mos and Mohawks

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When I found out that this episode of Clipped was about A.J.’s love life and Mo’s parents’ potential divorce, I thought for sure this would be my least favorite episode of the season. After all, those two storylines don’t leave a lot of room for Charmaine. And there wasn’t, but enter Dot-Marie Jones to save the day!

The out actress plays Mo’s mom Dottie (you can tell the writers got really creative there), whose marriage is on the rocks. With the exception of Ben since he grew up with Mo, no one at the shop has ever met Dottie. So they’re reasonably shocked when they get a look at her. We all finally know where Mo got the inspiration for his hair from.

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While it seems pretty obvious now why the couple’s heading for Splitsville, Ben for once is just as oblivious as Mo. Charmaine’s the only one willing to spell it out for him: “She a crazy bull dyke.” That’s mean-spirited Charmaine, but I hope this quip and the others you make throughout the episode are a sign you’re well versed in queer lady culture. Your dating habits so far tell me nothing.

In any case, Ben’s not buying it. Come on, Dottie did all the things your typical mom would: watch Nascar, weld, drive a Subaru…Yup, light bulb moment!

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Despite being a full grown man, Mo’s having a really hard time adjusting. It doesn’t help that his mom’s not being completely honest with him. I mean, 30 years of marriage thrown away because her husband sold her circular saw? Mind you, that could be code for, “I’m a Home Depot homo!”

So she fesses up. Kind of. She tells Mo she had an affair, but won’t say with whom. Well that just won’t do. Mo decides to punish her by giving her the silent treatment. And then in her rage she literally destroys a pigeon. It’s tough goings in Boston.

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Buzzy and Charmaine tell Ben it’s up to him to let Mo know his mama’s gay. After failing to rope Joy into doing it, he decides his plan of action will be to help Mo put the pieces together himself. Mo, your mom dressed as Ellen DeGeneres for Halloween every year [Note: except for the years she went as Rosie O’Donnell]. Mo, your mom used to rip phone books in half for laughs. While wearing a bolo tie. Come on, Mo!

Fortunately for Ben, Dottie walks in and saves his from having to deliver the news. She spills the beans about who she had the affair with: Larry Bird (yeah, I saw this coming. Minus the Larry Bird part. That would be asking a bit much, don’t you think?). It turns out Mo’s dad had an affair with a professional athlete five years back and it’s been eating away at Dottie ever since. This causes Charmaine to utter the best line of the episode: “That is not what I thought was eating at her.”

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And then my, oh my, Mo’s dad walks in. Wouldn’t you know it, he’s as flamboyant as his wife is butch, and he’s ever so sorry he hurt her by sleeping with Mary Lou Retton. These two sure know how to pick ‘em.

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After pleading with Dottie, she forgives him and the family is reunited. Well, they will be when they visit Mo’s comatose sister in the hospital. For now though, Ben and his little legs wrapped around Dottie make a great substitute.

It’s a gay ending folks, however you look at it.

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Check back in next week for a recap that probably won’t be as gay as this one.