“Orange is the New Black” recap (3.13): Trust No Bitch


Gloria is overwhelmed with guilt about Sophia and wants to confess to Sister Ingalls. They agree that prison brings out the worst in people,  but that it’s never too late to ask for forgiveness. Continuing the vein of faith-based flashbacks, we see Gloria getting an ultrasound while her Tia performs some magic to ensure she’s carrying a boy. It works/they fucked up the original ultrasound. It’s a miracle?

or12..and that’s what it’s all about

Black Cindy meets with Rabbi Tatelbaum to make her case for conversion. She is joined by the two Jewish inmates who have been helping her. She wants to take the name Tovah, and she gives an impassioned speech about what Judaism means to her. We almost never see this sincere, serious side of Black Cindy, and she tears up when she says that she has finally found her tribe. The rabbi allows her to convert, but tells her she needs a mikvah (aka a spiritual bath) to complete the conversion.

or13Mazel Tov, Tovah!

We flashback to Baby Cindy at family dinner, sneaking a spoonful of rice. When her father catches her, he rails at her with threats of fire and brimstone. No wonder she was turned off by faith. 

Red visits Healy, where they talk about Morello’s upcoming wedding. Red refers to her as “all heart and tits, but no brain,” but nevertheless she wishes them the best. Healy asks Red if he’s bad at his job, and she tells him that their “special” relationship is proof that he can get through to some people. She thanks him for helping her…did I miss that scene? Are they talking about the corn? God I hope this “special relationship” doesn’t get re-visited in Season 4.

Piper shows off her day-glo ink to Cal, which reads “Trust No Bitch.” She is feeling all smug and gangster when Cal comes clean about Neri’s side business of faux panties. He also tells Piper that she may have overshot her thug status, as someone has stolen all her money. Piper is furious and sets about hunting down Flaca.

or14I’m gonna bring the pain down so hard she’ll WISH it was hell week at Wellesley!

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