It’s been two weeks, and we’re back in Bonkers town AKA Rosewood. Thank goodness! Pretty Little Liars is such a goddamn delight, I genuinely miss it when it’s off the air. We pick up right where we left off, with the Liars all in a tizzy ready to hunt Leslie Stone down and burn her at the stake like she’s Myrtle Snow. Emily doesn’t think that Leslie would be able leap tall buildings in a single bound or build a life-size dollhouse, but Spencer reminds her that Mona was able to keep a 4.0 AND perfect hair AND sing like an angel and still stalk the shit out of them.
Hanna shows up, having tried and failed to shimmy up Mona’s drainpipe like a lesbian version of Romeo & Juliet. Apparently Mona’s mom has grounded her and cut her off from the outside world, which is nonsense because an army of parents couldn’t keep Mona locked up. Coach Taylor couldn’t control Mona. Keith Mars couldn’t control Mona. Zeus, father of Olympus, couldn’t control Mona.
Spencer and Hanna plan a trip to Philly to stalk Leslie, but Emily has mother-daughter therapy with Dr. Sullivan. Hopefully they’ll discuss those leather overall shorts she’s wearing. Hell, I’ll probably discuss them with my own therapist next week. Emily bikes home and comes across a furious Kenny DiLaurentis who demands to know if Emily saw someone put a card on his windshield. Obvs not, bro, since she just biked in from the opposite direction.