“UnReal” recap (1.6): Terrible choices


This episode of UnReal is all about Mary’s family date, the dangers of mixing meds with booze, bi-polar disorder, physically and emotionally abusive spouses, and suicide. So, all in all, a pretty light episode!

I had been hearing about this show and was super pumped to start covering it. (ICYMI, there’s a newly revealed lesbian character.) Starting this late in the game filled me with questions: What will it be like? How will I know what’s happening, and who is that, again? Luckily for me there is a brief mash up of info at the beginning of the show that clued me in. For those of me weren’t up to speed this is what’s up:

Mary suffers PTSD from the physically abusive relationship with her ex-husband. Rachel found out that Mary is manic and on meds. Rachel tinkers with those meds.

Quinn says she’s suing Chet for fraud. Chet gives in to Quinn’s demands.

Okay, ready? Now for the good stuff!

The show starts with two people having sex.  Jackpot! Just what mamma wants!

Then I realized it was hetero sex and was like, I’ll still take it! 

Unreal010601Wow, what a sexy boob shot.

These two really get going and then the dude bites her on the shoulder likes he’s some kind of defunct vampire and the girl stops because ow!

Turns out these two characters have names and they’re Jeremy and Lizzie. After Lizzie puts a halt on the sex, Jeremy asks why and Lizzie tells him that she “is not one of those porn things in Jeremy’s head.” You tell him, sister! You are not a porn thing! You are a woman! A woman who just wants some nice, respectful sex while in crew trailer on a filming lot! Is it too much to ask for, Jeremy? Is it?

The camera cuts to Rachel who is at craft services (typical) and just happens to look up as these two are leaving their sex den.

This whole episode is built on Mary and the excitement around winning the family date. Back behind the scenes, Chet makes a bet that Mary will be the next to leave because she’s old and undesirable. Quinn takes offense to it because she’s just one year older than Mary and she’s not old and undesirable. Is she? IS. SHE?

Unreal010602 You are so old, you old woman! Take it from me, a desirable old man!

Regardless, they bet $50 that Mary will make it to the next round. Chet then leaves the room to scheme and Quinn decides to let Rachel co-produce this episode.

Y’all Quinn really hates this episode, and who can blame her? Poor Mary is about as exciting as a goldfish in math class.

Just when Quinn thinks it couldn’t be any worse, an SUV filled with kids rolls up and really makes her day. She starts throwing a fit and screaming, “Boner killer, Grade A boner killer!” Thankfully, that snake-in-the-grass, Rachel, has been mixing up Mary’s pills. What could go wrong messing with someone’s mental health?

Behind the scenes Adam and Rachel share a moment where he tells Rachel that he “hates kids” and that “in England, adults don’t have to deal with children. That’s why we invented nannies.” Then Rachel gets real close to Adam and teaches him how to talk to a kid.

Back at the yawn-fest that is Mary’s date, Mary and her family are playing Twister. Really fun activity guys. Why don’t you show Adam what a real good time looks like and play a complete game of Monopoly?

Another shot of the yawn-fest reveals Adam and Mary kneading pizza dough on a picnic table. BORING. Adam then kneels down to talk to Mary’s kid like Rachel told him and the kid calls him weird. Everyone laughs except Adam. He chuckles but you can see the hate beneath his eyes.

Then out of NOWHERE that chick Anna walks up with a rabbit! A real rabbit! Anna is all, “Oh, here you go kids, here is a rabbit to look at instead of pizza dough.” Then Adam chirps in something robotic like, “Aww so sweet of you!” And Mary LOSES IT.


Mary turns into a demon—probably because she’s been mixing her meds with booze—and is all “Sweet? Is it? This is my date. With Adam.”

Everyone looks really scared but then Anna leaves and Mary is happy again.

Mary’s sister pipes up and is all “Uh, is everything okay? Has she been drinking? I don’t think she is okay.” And sound girl Shia is all, “Who, Mary? What are you talking about? She’s fine.”

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