“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (6.03): A very special common connection

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So now, finally, we get our Big Gayzzoli Ending. With Mama R safely at the rink, Maura is cooking them a romantic dinner for two complete with red wine and Jane’s favorite beer waiting for her. Jane busts in like a lovesick Kramer. She tells Maura she’s been bonding with her mom. Then this dialogue actually happens:

Maura: Awww, I’m sorry I missed it. I love bonding.

Jane: Well, I’m sure we will bond some more.

Yeah you will, ladies, yeah you will.

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As if things weren’t gay enough, Jane busts out a copy of Thelma & Louise. What, Fried Green Tomatoes wasn’t available? How about Desert Hearts? Jane claims it’s an action film and Maura swears it’s a chick flick. Oh, I see. They want that kind of movie? Then might I suggest a double-feature with Bound?

Just in case anyone watching did not catch the obvious gay analogies, Maura reads the back of the cover to us, “This film [read: series] is the celebration of two uniquely powerful women [read: Maura and Jane] fulfilling their destiny [read: getting it on] and bound together for eternity [read: gay, gay, gay gay gay].”

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Jane reads her own subtext into their situation: “This film [read: relationship] is a celebration of two badass chicks [read: Jane and Maura, duh] who drive their car over a cliff [read: come out of the closet, eventually].”

Maura agrees to both subtextual readings, and drives the Big Gay Point home once more to those in the cheap seats by telling Jane they have something in common with Thelma and Louise.

Maura: Well, we’re both unique individuals and yet we have found a common connection.

Yeah you have, ladies, in each other’s pants.

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Maura then compares them to yin and yang. Jane immediately asks which one she is and Maura matter-of-factly responds that Jane is yin, of course. She’s the shady and cool to Maura’s sunny and bright. Well, class, that’s what we call a coded top/bottom discussion. Take notes, there’ll be a quiz on this next week.

Jane pouts because she wants to be yang. She then punishes Maura for calling her “dark and shady and childish” by withholding juicy information. And Maura begs Jane to tell her with an equally pouty voice and batty eyelashes. Maura swears she didn’t say “childish.” Jane tells her, “Your eyes did.”

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Hey, raise your hand if you’ve ever had this kind of mock-fight with your girlfriend. Yes, you. Also, you. Ah, you, there in the back. You, the entire front 100 million rows. You, the remaining 275 million rows. So, that’s basically everyone who has ever had a girlfriend? Just checking.

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And with that indisputable declaration of couplehood, onto your #gayzzoli tweets of the week.

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