“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (6.03): A very special common connection

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Naturally, Jane and Maura spend the next several minutes processing this new information about their mother–and investigating a murder, or whatever. They arrive at the body farm, where cadavers are left to decay in new and disgusting ways, for science.

Maura could not be more excited, because it’s like Disneyland with unlimited Fastpass tickets for her. It’s sweet how much Jane understands this, instead of being grossed out by all the bloated and rotted human flesh. Jane and Korsak go to interview the body farm director and he is an arrogant and dismissive dick, so naturally that makes him our new No. 1 suspect.

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Back in the autopsy room Jane grouses about the dickish director, but saves her most grousy grouses for talk about her mother. Maura must be some sort of saint. She listens patiently when Jane complains that her mother is paying too much attention to her. She listens patiently when Jane complains that her mother is paying too little attention to her. Any day now I expect to see her drinking coffee out of a “World’s Best Girlfriend” mug.

So the extra body farm body was staged to look like a suicide. Which is strange and appetite-inducing news. Well, that’s what I’m assuming because when next we see Jane she’s at the Dirty Robber thanking her mom for a delicious lunch. Or so it seems. Anyone with an ounce of mother-daughter experience knows she is really there to pump her mom for the truth.

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Mama R admits she’s not learning how to make authentic French dips, but instead taking ice skating lessons. This sends Jane into immediate daughter hysterics because her mother is “the world’s worst athlete.” She then reels off a list of her mother’s sports-related injuries.

See what they did here? See. Jane is acting like the worried mom and Mama R is acting like the rebellious child. See? Jane then lists off some stats on athlete concussions by gender to try to convince her mom to take up bingo. But Mama R still has a few zingers of her own and asks when Jane started reading Maura’s medical journals. Well, sometimes they’re the only things on the nightstand when Maura falls asleep on her mid-cuddle.

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The team is back at the body farm because another extra body has been discovered. Wow, people really are dying to get in there. *rim shot* Thank you, I’ll be here all season. A male body, over a year old, has been found. It’s linked to the 30-day old female body so now we’ve got ourselves a mystery. Oh, sorry, not about who killed them. About why Mama R is ice skating. Don’t think I didn’t notice her extra mascara and eye liner. Something’s up, I tell you.

Speaking of stuff being up, Senior Criminalist Susie Chang has called Frankie and Nina down to the lab to “show” them something. And by “show,” I mean gush about how they’re her favorite new OTP on the series, besides Jane and Maura–of course. She’s even gotten them matching lobsters. Well, Nina’s is on a shirt. Frankie’s is a real, live lobster. Susie says it’s because the lobster is his crustacean doppelgänger. I think it’s because she’s skipped using the fume hood one too many times in the lab and now the brain cells are now damaged that tell people when to, say, stop comparing people to arthropods or, you know, stop crotchblocking when an obviously gay couple is flirting.

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Frankie Jr. accepts Frankie Jr. Jr. Jr. and promptly places him into Jane’s desk. Why? Because she is so clearly Maura’s lobster. When your little brother is placing live lobsters in your desk to help you get a clue about your love life, it’s bad.

Maura arrives at her place with a pizza packed with Mama R’s favorite toppings. I ask you, do you know your best friend’s mother’s favorite pizza toppings? And would you bring her a pizza packed with them? But Mama R is in no mood for pizza, which is a sign something is seriously wrong and/or a pending apocalypse. What? I love pizza, OK?

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