“Orange is the New Black” recap (3.8): Fear and other smells

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We open in the Litchfield kitchen, where a depressed Red watches as her crew empties large bags of factory food. It’s gross, and everyone’s upset about the new cuisine developments, except for Black Cindy, who is into kosher meals now more than ever. I like that she’s telling everyone to have a nagila, because that is not a thing. Piper sees DeMarco using Ramen spice packets to flavor her food, and she gets an idea. Meanwhile, Norma is leading her own silent table in prayer.

or1May the Norma be with you!

Officer Donuts meets Pennsatucky, and she quickly sizes up that he has no idea what he’s doing. She tells him she’ll walk him through the guard basics, and he seems grateful. Alex catches Lolly snooping in her bunk, and tells her to fuck off. This launches an Alex Vause flashback…yes, she got her own flashbacks in Season 1, but this episode aims to show more of Alex’s life post-Piper and lays the groundwork for her increasing paranoia.

or2 If you took my eyeliner, I will end you

Flashback to Alex’s mom’s funeral, a sad, sparsely attended affair with an impersonal priest giving the eulogy. Alex is grieving, lonely, and freshly dumped by Piper, so she’s especially vulnerable. Fahri, the man who recruited her into the drug cartel, shows up to pay his respects and comfort Alex. He offers to take her back to Paris…and he offers her some coke. Alex accepts both.

or3Grieving powder? Pass it over!

Back at Litchfield, Sophia is on the phone with her wife, complaining about the new guards’ offensive questions about her body. Her wife tells her that Michael is copping an attitude, cursing, and bringing girls home. She then calls out Sophia for giving him the bogus advice on “practicing on insecure girls,” which is well deserved, but Sophia is eager to blame Bennie instead of looking inwards.

or4I told him to respect women…oh wait, I said the opposite. My bad.

Piper has amassed a monopoly on Ramen, which she will use to pay her panty squad. Alex is excited about her business skills, but still hasn’t recruited Gerber to be their panty mule. Besides, she’s a bit distracted that Lolly is all up in her shit. Piper tells her she’s being paranoid, and urges her to use the promise of sex to flip Gerber. Worst case scenario, she ends up giving him a handie. Alex is not amused.

or5Are you not impressed by my Ramenopoly?