Previously on The Fosters, Mike decided to become a foster parent but, like parenting Brandon, he decided to confine his parenting activities to after work and on weekends. You know, when it worked for him. AJ sought out his brother via graffiti and Mike continued to be the cool guy parent who doesn’t do discipline so in a matter of weeks expect AJ to be as entitled as Brandon. Stef and Lena kept up the search for a plumber who could fix their pipes and identify lesbians by sight. Mariana came up with a plan to save her grandparents’ bakery and Jude and Connor went shooting with Stef and realized that guns are really goddamn scary. Stef ran into Monte at a lesbo bar, set her up with their friend Jenna, and enjoyed a classic Fosters dinner party of awkwardness. Lena told Monte not to be gay because then she would have to tell Stef about the kiss. Lena, honey, tell your wife. Even I know the answer to this one.
AJ is just putting back the Tony Gwynn ball he was maybe going to steal from Brandon. Brandon gets super pissed off because he has never done anything illegal for money (unless you count the fake IDs). Callie intervenes and tells Brandon to let it go because AJ was scared and she understands because she would have done anything to get to Jude. Brandon blusters about having once heard a rumor about these things called consequences, but he’s not sure they exist because they have never happened to him.
Next door Mariana is exchanging messages with Wyatt when Mat surprises her. He drove all night to get to Mariana. But nine hours in the car is nothing for a boy who is rethinking his choice not to have sex with her before leaving. So maybe they can have the sex before he ditches her again for the road trip? Sure, sounds awesome dude.
Lena tells Stef that her parents are coming for a visit tomorrow because Lena’s racist half-brother Nate is in town on business. Stef keeps folding laundry while Lena does some quick processing about seeing Nate after all these years. She figures if her mom can forgive him for calling her the n word maybe she can put it behind her too. But just in case, why don’t they have everyone over to their house for dinner? Because nothing ever goes wrong at an Adams Foster dinner party.
The next day everyone is hanging out at the beach. Callie and AJ are flirting by throwing sand at each other. Jude and Connor are playing video games and Mat is wondering when he and Mariana can get to the having sex part. Mariana is all, “I don’t want to be the kind of girl who ditches her friends when her boyfriend shows up and also I need all these people around because I feel weird around you, okay?” Cole happens to be walking down the beach and Callie runs to give him a hug and to introduce him to everyone.
Back at home Brandon is having a really hard time rewriting his fugue for Idyllwild. Grandpa walks in and tells him that all he needs to do is write something undeniably brilliant and he will be all set. Oh sure, and I just need to sit down and write the next Harry Potter. Thanks, Gramps. Brandon asks what happened with Nate all those years ago and grandpa said he felt abandoned when Stuart married Dana. Nate spent one summer with them and was so surly and nasty that he ended up going home early and they barely talked after that. Sure, and he called his wife a disgusting slur, but you know we can stick with the abandonment stuff.
In the kitchen Dana is unloading four thousand dollars worth of Whole Foods groceries she bought for the dinner. She forgot to mention that Nate is bringing his girlfriend. Lena is not happy about this development because she thinks it will be awkward to extract an apology from him with his girlfriend hanging around. Dana wants to leave the past alone especially since she never told her husband that his son called her a racial slur. When Lena learns that Nate never even said he was sorry for calling Dana a racial slur she gets ready to flip the table. But then her pop walks in, hands her a bottle of wine and everyone goes back to pretending things are fine.
Back on the beach, Cole is telling everyone about the LGBTQ prom he organized. He tells Connor and Jude to come so they can meet other gay kids and Jude makes the most amazing face. Thou shalt not label thy Judicorn! Cole doesn’t have a date so Callie offers to go with him. Cole looks like the happiest kid on the planet and decides to go hop in the water to cool down a bit. When he takes off his shirt we get a shot of the scars on his chest. AJ asks Callie what happened and Callie gives him a quick tutorial. She points out how happy and proud Cole is and tells AJ that he better not make Cole feel weird. Don’t mess with Katniss’ friends, okay AJ?
Back at home Brandon is dealing with composer’s block so he decides to find an unknown Bach piece and steal it. Classic Brandon, amiright?
Stef and Lena are setting the table for dinner and having a conversation. Well, Lena is talking and Stef is saying a few words here and there. Lena is arguing with herself about needing an apology from Nate. Stef reminds her that she is Lena Adams Foster, dammit. She is a woman who gets what she wants no matter what. If she wants Nate to say he’s sorry, then that motherfucker will damn well say he’s sorry. Stef can probably give him an expert tutorial in apologizing to Lena, she does it every other day.
Back at the beach Callie is telling Mariana that it’s super great that she lost her virginity to a guy she loves but if she doesn’t want to have sex again that’s totally cool, too. They spot Wyatt lifeguarding and Mariana decides it’s time to get the hell out of there with Mat.
Brandon yells at composer Tony for getting him to go to the party so he Brandon would oversleep, look like an idiot in front of the professor, and Tony could swoop in and have Kat as a partner. Tony is super confused but Brandon is all fired up with righteous indignation. “How dare you dupe me into being irresponsible? Don’t you watch this show? I can do stupid things all on my own!”
Cole hops up to start setting up the prom and tells Callie he will pick her up at six because he is a gentleman. AJ teases Callie about liking Cole but she assures him they are just friends. Nope, Cole likes her likes her and thinks it’s a real date or at least that’s what it looked like when he was ogling Callie.
Jude is putting the finishing touches on his outfit when Connor comes in. Connor didn’t get ready at home because he didn’t want his dad to ask where he was going. But he brought Jude a present! It is a giant T-shirt that says “I’m not gay but my boyfriend is.” Jude is not laughing at this ongoing joke. “Stop trying to sort me already! I’m a Gryffinpuff, for Pete’s sake! It’s a thing!”
The doorbell rings and Stef is all Jackie Joyner-Kersee sprinting to get it. We can see the grandparents sitting in the living room and I thank the lord I went to boarding school and did not have to have all my family there when I went to prom. Cole walks in looking very Peeta Mellark. Stef and Lena ooh and ahh and take way too many pictures and the grandparents hover around and call out how beautiful everyone looks. It’s adorable and totally overwhelming.
Lena tells Dana that she doesn’t care if she has buried the hatchet with Red, she needs an apology and she is going to get it. The doorbell rings and surprise! Nate’s girlfriend is black.
Mariana and Mat grab some food and are about to head over to his place where there are no annoying parents. Mariana thinks maybe he was right and that not having sex was a good idea. He’ll be back soon and they can totally do it then. Well, you see they are extending the tour and he won’t be back in a couple of weeks after all.
Back at home everyone is getting all cozy, drinking wine, and learning about Nate and his girlfriend. When Dana gets up to go to the kitchen, Lena scurries after her and demands to know if she knew Nate’s girlfriend was black. Dana says he never mentioned it just like Lena didn’t mention that Stef was white when they first started dating. Stef walks in and Lena goes off the deep end wondering if Nate is dating a black girl just to shut Lena and her quest for an apology down. Stef says well maybe she’s an actor and they are just fucking with everyone. Lena wouldn’t put it past him and Stef gets a glimpse of what it must be like to be married to her, just all kinds of bananas and Stefing up all the time.
At the LGBT prom, Cole introduces Callie to his friends who are all like, “Oh, she is totally hot.” Connor and Jude meet Jonah and Lennon who ask them for their names, sexual orientation and gender identity so they can slap handy dandy labels on them. It’s gross.
Meanwhile, Kat is playing Brandon’s plagiarized piece and calls it stupid and derivative only to be flabbergasted when the dean is like, it’s Bach, you moron. Afterwards Brandon claims some BS about how he knew that the dean would know it was Bach because he read her bio and he was just proving a point that Kat hates everything he does. The dean is pissed and wants to kick both of them off the island. Me too, lady, me too.
Jonah finds Connor and tells him he better watch out because if Jude can’t say he’s gay then he probably isn’t and will just end up dumping Connor. Buddy, we met you a minute and a half ago, please take your “helpful” life advice and stick it. Connor and Jude are 13 years old. If they aren’t ready to say they are gay, it’s not anyone’s job to tell them they have to.
Connor is dancing with his new friends and Jude thinks the dance is stupid and wants to leave. Connor tells him he can go if he wants but big gay Connor is staying at the big gay dance. It’s so easy to forget how small these kids are. When I was thirteen I wasn’t close to saying I was gay. I was doing everything I could not to have people think I was gay. We have come miles as a society since then but that doesn’t change the fact that 13 year olds are still only 13.Nate is regaling everyone with the story about the time Lena let go of her balloon and sobbed because she thought it might get into the ocean and hurt a dolphin. Lena remembers the story a little differently. Nate took the balloon and let it go to make Lena cry. Nate apologizes for that and for taking Dana and Stuart away from the grandkids at Christmas. Oh good lord. Lena’s like, really? You don’t have anything else to apologize for you racist prick? Dana wants everyone just to have a nice time. Lena head to the kitchen and Stef follows her because that’s what wives do.
On the dance floor the song switches to a slow one and Cole takes it as a sign he should kiss Callie. Only Callie doesn’t really like him like that so let the awkwardness commence! Cole finds Jude outside where the Judicorn is ready to leave this world of labels and go back to the comfort of his label free house. Cole gives him a speech about how his label saved him and got him into the LGBT house where he can be himself. Labels can be a hassle but they can also be a way of feeling less alone.
Labels are often how we find our people. I feel a sense of comfort when I am hanging out or talking with my lesbian and bisexual friends that I don’t always have with my straight friends. But it’s not as much about labels as it is about a shared experience. Labels are an excellent shorthand. We need them for things like potato chips or cereal. How else are you going to know what is inside that bag or that box? But for people, they are nice, but there are other ways to find out what’s in a person’s heart.
My girlfriend used to say she was “gay for me.” She wasn’t sure if she would date a woman again if something ever happened to us. When I was nineteen this freaked me the hell out. I wanted a guarantee of her feelings. I wanted to know it was real. But being real, the Skin Horse said, isn’t how you are made but something that happens to you when someone loves you for a long, long time. It took me a long time to figure that out. It doesn’t matter if that girl is gay or isn’t gay. Her label isn’t what tells me she loves me. Whether she’s “gay for me” or bisexual, or a lesbian isn’t important. That label is just a thing that buzzes or a stick-out handle. It’s not a guarantee. There’s no assurance that you won’t be hurt. But sometimes when you’re real you don’t mind so much being hurt. I think Connor wants that guarantee. He wants an assurance that Jude’s feelings for him are real. I think we can all understand that.
Lena and Stef are outside and Lena wonder if she is being ridiculous. Dana walks out and wants to know why Lena won’t just let it go. Stef jumps in to defend Lena and Dana tries to sweep Stef aside. But as much as Dana wants to protect her husband Stef want to protect Lena. Stef is the most protective, Dana. You should know that by the scar in her belly from being shot.
Then Lena brings it all home. The n word doesn’t just hurt one black person, it hurts all black people. Hearing Nate call Dana that slur hurt Lena especially because it was directed at her mother. She asks Dana to imagine what she would feel if he had directed it to Lena instead.
It’s a funny thing about love, that impulse to protect the people we love more than we protect ourselves. Watching someone you love be hurt, is like a double gut punch. Not only are you hurt by their unkindness but you are hurt through the pain of your loved one. I have heard my share of nasty things thrown my way. It’s not fun, but mostly I move on. But when I hear someone has been unkind to one of my children or to my wife I am filled with the kind of rage that probably fuels the Hulk. I am much slower to forgive and have yet to forget the slights, the cruelty, the unkind words that have ever been directed at my wife. Is that because I could not stop it from happening in the first place? Is it the sense that I failed to protect her? Is it that I know I can’t take away the hurt and that impotence fuels my anger? I don’t know. But I know I would a thousand times rather cruelty come at me than at someone I love. And I think that’s an interesting piece they have teased apart here in this scene (come on, Sherri Saum and Lorraine Toussaint are incredible and should have a scene together every week).
At composer camp, no one wants to double up to team up with Kat and Brandon so they both get told to extinguish their torches and catch the next boat off the island. All of your insufferable chickens have come home to roost.
Dana and Lena are ready for their apology now. Dana fills Stuart in on what he missed twenty years ago. Nate says he didn’t call her the n word and Stuart hopes maybe Dana didn’t hear correctly. Oh, Stuart. I don’t think this is a case of words getting mixed up. He asks Nate and Faith to leave and Nate mutters something about how he always picked Dana and Lena over him. Oh yeah, pretend you’re the victim here, buddy. Tell your story to Fox News.
Cole thinks Callie came with him out of pity. She doesn’t need a boyfriend. She need her awesome, badass friend who put together an LGBTQ prom to make things better for everyone. She looks up to him, she just doesn’t need a boyfriend right now, not while she’s trying to win the Hunger Games. Jude skips up to Connor and says he’s super duper extra gay for Connor. Connor smiles and they head off to dance and it’s adorable.
Out on the front porch Mariana tiptoe up to the line of telling Mat about Wyatt and then backs off and breaks up with him. Maybe they need to do their own thing for a while since he’s on tour indefinitely or whatever. She’s like “have a bitchin’ summer!” and heads inside.
The night ends with everyone around the kitchen table. Callie gets her driver’s license, AJ tells her he was jealous of Cole, and Brandon tells Callie he got kicked out of Idyllwild. Just a typical dinner party at the Adams Foster’s.
Here are a few of our favorite #GaydyBunch tweet from last night’s episode.
“That’s what people do when they’re scared? They steal?” Says the straight white dude who ran an illegal ID business. #gaydybunch
– Ashe B (@birobot) June 30, 2015
I see they’re continuing this totally out of character Mariana story arc, as no one requested #gaydybunch
– Jenny (@iFlipForRizzles) June 30, 2015
Ms Rosa had a dream she hit Vee. She actually drove her cross country to an awkward family dinner #gaydybunch #OITNB
– flex armsoft (@invisiblecircus) June 30, 2015
If only Litchfield could get ABC Family, Suzanne would be beyond ecstatic #gaydybunch
– Jenny (@iFlipForRizzles) June 30, 2015
In parallel universe, if a white dude had called Lena’s mom the n-word, she’d’ve slocked his ass. #TheFosters #GaydyBunch
– Kristen (@hachiemachie) June 30, 2015
Kat, please pack your knives and go. #TheFosters #GaydyBunch
– Alyssa (@tvwithapb) June 30, 2015
As awkward as the dinner parties always are I’d still do illegal things to get a seat at that table. #TheFosters #GaydyBunch
– Valerie Anne (@PunkyStarshine) June 30, 2015
You guys, someone is taking issue w my 4 month old tweets cos they’re ‘kinda biased’ against Brandon. Cease and desist #GaydyBunch ! ROTFL!
– Tippi McCullers (@ali_steventon) June 30, 2015
