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“The Rich Man’s Daughter” recap (1.16-1.23): Secret Lesbian Parties

Things are really picking up for The Rich Man’s Daughter. Jade decides to take Paul’s advice and, instead of going home after the hospital, she jumps out of Pearl’s car and runs away to find Althea and start her new, free gay life.

They reunite in the parking garage of the hospital (which is super clean, by the way) and Jade sobs into Althea’s arms.

There must be some kind of problem with kissing on this network, because at this amazing turning point in their relationship when Jade finally chooses Althea over her family, all they can do to celebrate is rub noses.

Jade’s family is obviously mad, and confused. Why would anyone want to run away from them? They have iced tea and white couches. Paul is all wrapped up in bandages because his dad beat him in the last episode for being gay, tells Amanda he told her to run away. Amanda asks, “Why would she want to leave?”DUH, Amanda. You guys are the worst. Stop beating your kids! Pearl says Jade will never make it because she is not street smart.

Meanwhile, Jade is doing just fine over at Althea’s house. They are living the good old U-haul life, watching TV with their dog, eating big pancake breakfasts every morning, brushing their teeth and laughing, and even calling each other “Love-love” when they go to sleep at night.

The shots of them getting ready for bed are pretty much the most scandalous thing we have seen so far.

Wila and Batchi, Althea’s ex and her friend, respectively, are surprised to find that Jade has moved into Althea’s place. Wila is pretty disappointed and wants to be bitchy, but she reigns it in. The four start to become good friends, and they even go to an exclusive lesbian party together. Althea tells Jade not to worry about hiding where she has run off to-who could recognize her at an exclusive party? It’s just a bunch of lesbians.

At work, Jade has become Althea’s new party planning assistant. Jade introduces her as her girlfriend to a client for whom she is planning an Audrey Hepburn-themed debut party. Jade has a panic attack-she’s afraid of being judged. Althea tries to console her on the balcony.

Amanda finds out from the house nanny that Jade was visited in the hospital by Althea. Trying to find her daughter, she decides to ask Althea if she knows where Jade ran off to. She goes to her workplace and Jade hides in the bathroom while she asks questions. Pearl almost finds Jade when she tries to use the bathroom, but they are saved by the lock on the bathroom door.

In the elevator, Pearl explains to Amanda that Althea is a “lipstick lesbian” and says, she hope Jade isn’t good friends with her because she could catch her lesbian-ness. Amanda says, “No way. There were never any signs that Jade was gay. I knew Paul was gay when he was little, but not jade. My daughter is straight.”

Meanwhile, Gabriel can’t stop thinking about his secret love—and his not-wife-Angie. Her house burns down and he goes to save her, brining her to his guest house and letting her stay there.

While Batchi, Wila, Althea and Jade are at their exclusive lesbian party, Lucy, a frenemy of the Tanchingo’s, sees Jade and takes a picture of her and Batchi. Later, Lucy tells Amanda about what she saw: “I didn’t know your daughter was a lesbian.” Amanda is completely shocked when she sees the photo and smashes Lucy’s phone. Amanda tells Lucy she is a dirty dyke and will burn in hell and other terrible things. Lucy is like, “Yeah, I am-but so is your daughter.” Amanda runs away.

Jade and Althea make a visit to Althea’s dad’s grave and giggle and say hello to him as a couple. Jade talks about missing Ama, her grandma, and Althea decides to take her to Batangas to see her.

Meanwhile, Amanda goes to church to pray that her daughter isn’t a lesbian.

Althea and Jade don’t tell Ama they are dating, they just act really lovey-dovey in front of her. Ama is old, but she isn’t stupid: She can tell that when someone gives you the food off of your fork, you are boning them. She is surprisingly okay with it, and tells Althea to love her granddaughter.

Amanda meets up with Lucy to apologize and look for answers. She asks what lesbians are, basically, and Lucy tries to explain about butches (who date femmes) and femmes (who can date butches or femmes). Wow, Amanda really needs help. Maybe so does Lucy (the info seems a little dated).

Lucy also says that maybe Jade caught her gayness from a friend, or maybe she was teased and it made her gay. Amanda flashes back to what Pearl said, “I hope Jade doesn’t catch Althea’s lesbian-ness,” and Amanda suddenly has her answer! Jade caught the gay from Althea, and ran into the arms of Batchi. Amanda is so smart.

Meanwhile, Althea and Jade are getting ready for the Audrey Hepburn debut party, and they are both dressed like Audrey, which is pretty freakin’ adorable. Amanda storms into the party to accuse Althea of turning her daughter gay, when she catches them holding hands.

The client tells Amanda that Jade is Althea’s girlfriend. Amanda stares at them in a crazed fury for a long time before she attacks. She does pounce on them, and screams about Althea turning her daughter, and hits them both and pulls their hair. Everyone films it on their iPhones. Jade stands up for Althea and tells her mom that this is the woman she loves and there’s nothing she can do about it.

In the meantime, Gab goes up to his guesthouse and has sex with Angie, cheating on Pearl. Just when we thought one of the Tanchingo kids was doing okay, t seems that the family really is falling apart.

Oscar’s business associates have noticed the commotion, and threaten to take “CEO” away from him if he can’t get a hold on his kids.

Oscar decides to put an end to this nonsense and goes to find Jade with the help of his private investigators. He finds her at yet another exclusive lesbian party. He tries to enter, but someone is like, “Hey dude, are you a lesbian?” and explains he’s not allowed. Oscar realizes his daughter is gay and has a meltdown. He goes to grab her, but a sea of lesbians protect her from his terrifying grip.

He goes home and asks Amanda if she knew that their daughter is a dyke and starts to strangle her. She says yes and he blames her for raising two of their children to be gay and says she has a defective womb. He says he will handle Jade and straighten her out. Amanda will not be allowed to get involved.

Althea starts to see the consequences of dating Oscar’s daughter. Her landlord kicks her out because someone is willing to pay triple her rent. The someone, obviously, is Oscar.

Althea and Jade move in with Batchi. Jade asks her BFF for money, telling her it’s for the “guy she’s dating,” and offers it to Althea, but Althea can’t take it. She wants to fix this on her own. Meanwhile, Althea’s business is losing clients left and right because “someone” has been talking badly about them-probably Oscar again.

Oscar sends hit men to grab Althea and escort her into a car with him. He offers her 50 million pesos to leave his daughter and never show her face again. She declines, and he basically says, “You’ll be sorry.”

When Jade is standing outside making a phone call at Batchi’s house, two hit men run up and grab her, bringing her home. Althea chases after the car in her high heels, but falls and has to go to the emergency room. Meanwhile, Jade and Paul are both told by Oscar that they will be shipped off to China. They try to change his mind, but, as always, he won’t budge.

Althea talks to a lawyer, who sends her to the Human Rights Campaign. They explain what we were all thinking-Jade is 25 and doesn’t have to live with her parents if she doesn’t want to. Althea and Batchi bring the HRC commissioner to Oscar’s house to rescue Jade, but she is already gone. Ama yells out that she is at the airport. Althea takes off with Batchi to save her.

Once at the airport, Batchi stalls the guard while Althea runs in and tells Jade, “Did you know that you are an adult! You’re 25 and no one can force you to go to China!” or something like that. They hug-finally! They are once again free to be gay. Until Oscar pulls his next stunt…

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