Previously on Pretty Little Liars, Emily tried to stuff grapes with frosting and dated a married woman (which do you think was more frustrating?), Hanna took the Bad Idea Express to Incrimination Station and got herself thrown in the pokey with Ali, and Spencer made friends with an art hobo and yelled at her boyfriend for trying to be a competent policeman. Also, Aria got stuck in a freezer and almost became a popsicle.
Season 6A premieres tonight with the first of ten summer episodes, and Marlene King calls it “the season of answers.” Likely story, Marlene, you’ve fooled us before! I’ve combed through promos, interviews, nay, the entire worldwide web to bring you the following ten (mostly gay )tidbits:
- The premiere will pick up where the finale left off, with the Liars stranded behind Charles DiLaurentis’s electric fence.
- Charles DiLaurentis will FINALLY be unmasked by the end of the summer. AND he’s someone we’ve met before. If it’s the art hobo, I will burn this village to the ground.
- The Liars will graduate high school and maybe go to a prom with real live people and not mannequins. Okay, maybe, like, five mannequins. This is Rosewood.
- Mona will be isolated from the Liars and sing a creepy rendition of “Hush, Little Baby” that will give us all nightmares.
- Rumer Willis will return as Emily’s Habitat for Humanity boss/friend/scissoring companion(?) and will presumably murder everyone with that Dancing with the Stars trophy.
- Project Runway alum Dre Davis will appear in a recurring role as the “tomboyish Kimberly Brown” which we all know is code for lesbian. She is very pretty, so let’s hope her face touches Emily’s face. There will be other new cast members, but I’m only interested in the ones most likely to go through Emily’s revolving door of love interests.
A photo posted by Dre Davis (@drelyndavis) on May 17, 2015 at 7:04am PDT
- Speaking of, Paige McCullers is coming back…eventually. Marlene says she won’t appear in the first few episodes, but she’ll be showing up.
- Executive Producer Oliver Goldstick has revealed that Emily gets closer to someone in the Dollhouse, saying:
“She might just realize that she’s now got a soul mate closer to her than she ever thought,” Goldstick coyly teased. “And the dollhouse will have been a big factor in a shift of what Emily wants in a partner. Who and what she wants.”
#TeamVanderFields
- Aria is bringing back her flashback dyed pink streaks, because the dream of the early 2000s is alive in Rosewood.
- Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg will preside over the first ever inter-species marriage between Tippi the Bird and Pepe the adopted/abandoned dog. Mazel Tov, you two!
Season 6B will return with a time jump, featuring the Liars post-college, presumably moving back in with their parents because the job market is crap and student loan debts are debilitating. The series has already been renewed for season 7, which will likely be their final season.
I’m excited to see what shenanigans season 6A holds. While some people were disappointed with the finale (#WTF WHO IS CHARLES!?!), I thought it was one of the best episodes of the entire series. “Welcome to the Dollhouse” took us down the rabbit hole of insanity that is Pretty Little Liars operating on all nutso cylinders. There where masks, evening gowns, Natasha Bedingfield, and the resurrection of Mona Freakin’ Vanderwaal. What more could you want from a finale?
Join me tonight on Twitter @ChelseaProcrast and tweet along with the #BooRadleyVanCullen crew. I’ll see you in the Dollhouse!
