“The Good Wife” recap (6.16): Red Meat


This week’s Good Wife episode opens with Alicia and Johnny looking super awkward in the backseat of a car. When Alicia asks, “We’re fine, right?” she’s totally asking if they’re still politics buddies after last week’s make-out session, but he immediately launches into a not so reassuring reassurance that she’s heading for a definite win, as long as her supporters actually show up to vote (now if the US government just jumped on the reality show bandwagon and let us vote through text, then we’d really have a representative democracy). Then it’s time for Alicia to hop in another car with Peter, where the awkwardness has absolutely no sexual tension. Peter wants to pick a fight over Alicia slamming him for political reasons, but Alicia just wants to get through the smiling photo-ops.

Meanwhile, Diane has been carted off to some kind of Republican winter playground, at least pretending to be game by donning a camouflage outfit (the real kind that actually looks like sticks and grass, not the splotch print you might have worn in pink or blue in the early 2000s). She’s still not super pumped to go shoot what, in 2015, must be Bambi’s distant descendants, but on the plus side, her husband seems to really like a woman with a riffle.

While Diane makes slightly threatening anti-billionaire jokes at the breakfast bar at the millionaire cabin (which, honestly, doesn’t look that impressive. If you’re going to be filthy rich, you should at least have a few crepe chefs) she spots “The Mark Zuckerberg of Austin, Texas,” Gil Berridge. A quick phone call to Cary and David Lee, and Diane sets a plan in motion to convince Berridge to come over to their firm.

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Back at Alicia’s place Marissa offers doughnuts, Johnny suggests a nap, and I officially want to be a state’s attorney candidate. And then Finn shows up bearing gifts! After only a few awkward moments with Johnny in the hall when the three literally form a love triangle, Johnny makes a hasty exit, and Alicia opens her present, Halo, which is not the most traditional election day gift, but still sweet (did Finn have to research what system she had? Were awkward texts exchanged with Zack: “Hey dude totally don’t want to date your mom, just need a Halo buddy, anyhow”). 

And while Marissa goes to set things up, Alicia gets a good luck call from Bishop, who’s obviously not use to people not immediately recognizing his voice. Alicia makes it a very quick chat, leaving Bishop looking surprised. Why is it still surprising to him that she doesn’t want to chill with a drug dealer? Bishop lets Kalinda (is she always there now? Maybe besides giving Dylan a ride to school she also has to quiz him on his vocab or something) that if Alicia wins, he’s going to need her to be the go-between between him and Alicia. On the one hand,  yay more Alicia and Kalinda time! On the other hand, yikes.

At the right-wing lodge Diane was all ready for a day of rifling, but just before they leave for the slaughter, she’s informed the wives will be going to a spa day. She is not pleased.

In an interview Peter says Alicia is definitely going to be the next state’s attorney, which might seem nice and supportive on the surface but actually hurts her chances, as Johnny explains to her, because her supporters won’t bother coming out to vote. Alicia claims she doesn’t know why he did that, though the audience does—because he’s a big vindictive jerk.

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When she confronts him about it he denies that it was intentional (clueless does not work on him) leading Alicia to the realization he doesn’t really want her to win (duh).

Diane looks ready to inject mimosa’s directly into her veins at the spa day, but luckily Cary calls with a new plan—talk up Berridge’s wife, and she might be able to get him to come to their firm.

In this week’s episode of Driving Dylan, Kalinda has to keep eyes on the ominous cars tailing her and listen to Dylan drone on about Disney world (how old is this kid? he seems oddly hung up on the home of Micky Mouse but his voice seems to be changing and he’s sporting the start of some facial hair). Bishop solves the problem by pulling the guys in the tail car out in the middle of the road.

Alicia’s team is talking robocalls to drive up her seriously lacking turn-out, and while they bicker Marissa gets her sucked into Halo (are they sponsoring this episode?).

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Because Diane’s husband is super sweet when he’s not off bathing the snow in animal blood, he gives her an escape call, rescuing her from more pedicures by asking her to bring him a second riffle.

At Dylan’s school Kalinda is mistaken for “Mrs. Bishop” (he wishes) by a concerned member of the parents board who noticed the whole morning commute debacle. Kalinda successfully brushes it off, though the parent doesn’t look exactly comforted.

Team Alicia suggests a robocall saying the privatization of parking meter initiative needs them to come out and vote (I guess that’s what Alicia voters are really concerned about). They want to recruit Peter, but now Alicia’s pretty convinced he’s practically on team Prady. They start throwing out names including the president (the true American president, Martin Sheen).

Diane finally joins the menfolk to do a little hunting, but all the tricks she picked up from Berridge’s wife on how to win him over only seem to piss him off. As he goes off in an angry huff to watch the poor deer alone, the other guys clue her in-she wasn’t chatting with his wife, she was chatting with his call girl (a lesson to be learned, always do a ring-check).

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