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“Newlyweds: The First Year” recap (2.1): Vow or Never

Newlyweds Season 2 opens just days before each couple’s wedding. In our introduction to Sam and Laura, we find out that they met in their sorority in college. They don’t seem interested in labels and, throughout the episode, neither of them adamantly identifies as lesbian or bisexual. Laura says, “I met the person that I was meant to be with, and that happened to be a woman.”

We get a sneak peek at Sam and Laura’s lifestyle, which is a pretty lavish one. Sam has a multi-million dollar estate, and her having more money than Laura is clearly a source of tension in the relationship. “I hate that I’m spending your money,” says Laura. Like most of the couples in the show, their sex life is also on the table as a possible source of tension. “We should be having sex all the time,” says Sam. At least for now, though, the good seems to far outweigh the bad. “I just couldn’t imagine a world without her in it,” says Sam.

Sam and Laura walk into a nail salon to get a manicure and pedicure. The manicurist asks Sam what the special occasion is, and when she says she’s getting married, the manicurist wants to know, “Who is this lucky guy?” This is s moment to which queer ladies will relate strongly. From taxi drivers to leg waxers, people are always asking this innocuous question that forces you to decide if you feel like “outing” yourself to a stranger. Sam takes the plunge and points to Laura. The manicurist apologizes as the women dive into their backstory. “We met at Emerson College in our sorority,” says Sam. “She pledged under me, I became her big sister,” says Laura, “I never considered myself a lesbian, until I met her, and then clearly that was the case.”

Laura continues, “She’s the best sex I’ve ever had in my life. I think we crossed a sorority line that you’re not supposed to cross.” “Oh, we definitely have crossed a sorority line,” adds Sam.

Laura and Sam say they’ve had our ups and downs over seven years of dating. Sam says that her mom passed away in 2011. “Getting through all of that made me know it was time to take the next step and I asked you to marry me,” she tells Laura. We cut to a home video of the two women’s engagement.

Sam and Laura say that after their engagement, they moved in together and got two dogs.

Sam and Laura get in their car post-manicure and talk about how it is their last time being single in Manhattan.

Sam talks about her financial situation. Her mom left her and her brother a mult-million dollar estate to share. The family has a beautiful house on the water in Sarasota.

Sam says she is living off of a monthly allowance until she is 30, when she’ll get half the estate. Sam is a content producer. “I borrowed $500,000 from the estate that my mom left to start my own production company,” she says, “It’s a lot of pressure to make sure that I succeed when I borrowed that kind of money.”

Meanwhile, Laura is a freelance writer of non-fiction, personal essay and memoir. “It’s frustrating sometimes being the have-not in the relationship,” Laura says, ” because everybody wants to judge you for it. She has the money. I really bring very little financially to the table.” Sam looks at her and says, “But you bring so much everywhere else.”

We get to know Sam’s family, which is a very raucous, no-filter, tight-knit Jewish clan. Sam’s dad asks questions like, “Do you think I should dye my eyebrows?” and tells them he’s trying to get testosterone shots to “feel 18 again.” At this point, Laura and Sam are pretty uncomfortable. Laura says out loud, “this family has a filter problem,” and Sam adds, “There’s not even a filter.” Laura complains, “I could’ve just married a simple-” and Sam’s dad cuts her off with, “a dude?” This comment doesn’t even phase Laura. At each point when someone brings up how they could be with a dude, both women seem more amused than frustrated.

Laura also explains to the camera that she was raised Catholic and her family has clear boundaries. She also says that Sam’s family drives her crazy, which is how she knows she loves them.

A tired Sam and Laura hit the gym. The trainer asks Sam, “You guys gonna have kids? Who will be pregnant?” Sam says they will both be pregnant, but not at the same time. The trainer asks if the father will be a black guy. Sam laughs and says, “We’re calling you first.”

The gym scene goes on to explore the fact that Sam and Laura will never sleep with a man again-even though they’ve been together, and not dating men, for the past seven years.

Sam says, “I’ve experimented with both men and women. I’ve just had a lot of really crazy experiences.” Laura, on the other hand, admits that before Sam, she had no serious relationships. When she met Sam, she was shocked, “I had never felt that for anyone,” she says. “I realized fairly young that she was the match for me and I wanted to make it work.” Rather than saying she realized she was gay when se met Sam, Laura seems to have a different perspective-her match just happened to be a woman.

As Laura is stretching with her male trainer, Sam jokes, “This is it for her. No more boys,” and Laura chimes in, “It’s my last touch.”

In the middle of this stretching scene that is filled with sexual tension, Sam reveals that she is still close with a lot of her exes, who will be at the wedding. “I don’t worry about her exes,” says Laura “I don’t care. She loves me and I trust that.”

The trainer jokes with Laura that she’s going to die by age 60 without a man. Sam jokes that Laura looks like she’s enjoying all the stretching that her trainer is helping her with. Laura says she is and then tells the trainer, “Now, get off me!”

One day before the wedding, Laura is putting her dress in the car when her friend Carie asks her about her pre-nuptial agreement. Laura explains that Sam was required to sign a pre-nup because she has an estate to protect. Laura tells the camera that she didn’t want to tell anyone about the pre-nup at first because she didn’t want people to think she was after Sam’s money. “I fell in love with Sam before she knew there was any money,” she says.

Laura then shares with her friend, “It just kind of freaks me out. If she were to die three days after the wedding, not only would I be heartbroken, I could also be homeless.” Carie assures Laura that she’ll be OK. Laura agrees, then jokes, “If I become a multi-millionaire, it protects me, too.”

An interview with Sam confirms that the purpose of the pre-nup is to protect Sam’s brother, with whom she shares the estate.

Wedding day starts out with high stress as Sam makes calls from a golf cart about the shuttle for guests at the hotel. Laura becomes impatient and says she is going to take a shower. “She obsesses over little details,” says Laura, “She’s a control freak. She’s a handful.”

The stress continues with the two of them getting their hair done. Sam says she is looking at the timeline for the evening so she won’t feel stressed later. Laura looks annoyed. Sam confesses to the camera, “I’m so OCD and so controlling. I think it’s really frustrating for her.”

We cut to Laura standing on a dock in a green dress. She says she has always wanted to wear a green dress, even before she met Sam or thought about whom she would marry. She repeats again, “In my situation, my match was a woman.” Sam, wearing a cream-colored dress, walks to the end of the dock to meet Laura.

The storyline inevitably drifts back to the fact that the two women are not marrying men today. Sam says in an interview that she was worried Laura would want to be with a man again. “That’s something that you can never give your partner, ever,” says Sam. “But I can’t imagine my life without her being a part of it.”

Laura adds her own “marrying a woman” fears to the mix. “Standing in front of everyone and reading her my vows scares the shit out of me. But I’m willing to be scared.”

Laura explains further, “When I first met Sam, her family had always known that she slept with boys, slept with girls, dated both.” But for Laura’s family, “It was weird for my parents when Sam and I were really together. And they were nervous to tell their brothers and sisters and my grandparents. But now my parents are so excited for the wedding. My mom has told Sam like please don’t ever leave Laura. I can’t lose you.”

Sam and Laura admit they are nervous about their big kiss after their vows. “We’ve been practicing our wedding kiss for seven years,” they say. Laura says, “I’ve never kissed her in front of most of my family so I wanted it to be a good kiss.”

The reception is a brief one, but lovely, held outside by the water, with very enthusiastic family members and friends filling out the outdoor amphitheater. Laura’s vows are particularly memorable: “Sam, I may never be the superlative wife, our union may never be perfect. But it will be raucous and unruly and perfectly us.” They hesitate before their big kiss, but then make it a good one.

At the wedding reception, things get a bit dicey. Sam’s dad makes a toast that starts to go off the rails, prompting the brides to yell ,”wrap it up!” Laura unveils even more of her “coming out” story. “When I first told people I was with Sam, my mom tried to handle it but said ‘do you ever see yourself with a man again?’ Once she embraced it, she became the kind of woman who was like I have a gay child, I love her.”

Sam is having fun at the reception, and being very affectionate with people who are not the bride. Laura reminds us that many of Sam’s friends are also her exes, and that Sam has a hard time severing ties once an emotional connection has been made. We see shots of Sam kissing a friend, grabbing another friend’s butt, and Laura seems nervous.

In the final moments of the show, we see what is in store for Sam and Laura-both the good and the bad. Laura asks, “Are you still glad you married me?” to which Sam responds, “Yeah, I mean I thought a little more sex would come with the deal.” Sam talks about going to therapy, while Laura tells her to “go find some sperm if you’re in such a rush” to have kids. Sam also talks about her fear of running out of money and her company not making it. Finally, Laura asks, “Who are you buying $96 worth of chocolate for?”

Between their financial tension, the tapering of a hot sex life after being together for so long, having children, and Sam’s tendency to keep up with her exes, I’m sure there will be just as many good times as dramatic ones in store for these two women who have “found their match.”

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