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“The Good Wife” recap (6.14): The Mind’s Eye

Tonight on The Good Wife, Marissa is unloading every cold product known to man at Alicia’s apartment though Alicia insists her laryngitis isn’t cold related. Psychosomatic, perhaps? Nervousness over what she’ll say (and how unethical it could potentially be) messing with her vocal chords? Johnny reminds her she has to rest her voice in preparation for her interview with the editorial board of a big Chicago paper, whose endorsement could make or break the campaign (he also advises her to avoid watching Prady’s interview, which is already up online). Because nervous, competitive Alicia is totally just going to waste time on cat videos as she waits silently (also following the order to rest her insanely raspy voice). Then because they trust her way more than the average audience member, Johnny and Marissa leave Alicia to rest, Johnny going so far as taking her phone-to turn it off and leave it on the counter. (I hope Johnny’s never in charge of grounding a teenager.)

Of course, the second her handlers are out the door, Alicia looks up Prady’s interview, and David Hyde Pierce is playing up the charm-way up-and mentioning Alicia and her big dumb ideas (though he words it nicer) from the start. And this brings us to tonight’s big trope, a collection of scenes that are actually only playing out in Alicia’s head, ranging from the mundane to Scrubs, Season 9 territory. The Good Wife has tried this kind of unconventional storytelling before, most recently in this season’s “Old Spice,” when we were shown the very strange corner’s of Elsbeth’s mind. Tonight’s journey into Alicia’s brain was hit or miss, with plenty of jokes landing while the attempts at the big picture emotional journeys fell flat.

Right away it’s established that there are a lot of voices inside Alicia’s head. As she holds a mock interview in there where she side-steps a question about her lack of likability she’s immediately berated by mind-Eli, supported by mind-Johnny and mind-Marissa (don’t worry, Alicia, around nine million people still like you, despite the show’s recent criminal underused of Kalinda). Still in the mental mock interview, Alicia gets grilled about Zack’s abortion (a fair-minded turn of phrase I’ve still never heard outside this show to describe a guy’s involvement in the decision). The question freaks her out, making her picture a dirty, homeless Zack taking up residence on a bench and leaving her staring at his number in her phone (are we supposed to assume she really hasn’t talked to him since she confronted him about lying and hiding the abortion?).

Before she can decide whether to check and make sure Zack is using benches exclusively for post-study session breathers, Louis Canning calls, wanting to get his wrongful eviction settlement before he dies. Alicia’s not having it, pointing out he’s been dying for at least three months (which, I mean, you could be dying for three months. People can spend longer than that in hospice. Way harsh, Alicia). Canning suggests they settle for a lower than previously suggested figure, four million, pointing out pictures of Alicia head to head with very sickly him won’t look good as she goes into the home stretch of the campaign. Canning suggests she “think it through” which, with tonight’s theme, she takes very literally. With a quick look at the Prady interview paused on her laptop, Prady looking less than imposing with his accidental jazz hands, Alicia imagines just how a debate with Canning would go.

Mind-Diane asserts she had the right to evict mind-Canning so she could move in. Canning counters she didn’t because she wasn’t a tenant at the time. Diane shoots back that her proxy, Howard (often pantsless man) was a tenant, and Canning points out Howard was invited to join the firm just so they’d have an after the fact proxy. Alicia starts to make a kind of pro-con list with points going to her firm vs. Canning. Practical idea, but it will never be compelling TV to watch someone write a pro-con list, no matter how pretty their cursive is.

Mind-Howard, like real life Howard, is kind of not all there, giving Alicia the idea to introduce the idea of an oral agreement that established him as a proxy before the written one. Unfortunately mind-Howard isn’t there enough to discuss the oral agreement, making it necessary to call in mind-David Lee (gross, Alicia, you don’t want him in your mind), who reassures her that because he and Canning understood Howard’s oral agreement, Howard himself didn’t need to understand it for it to be valid. But just as Alicia calls Canning, triumphant, she remembers something. And with a glowing light, a door opens inside her imagination and in walks mind Kalinda. In the real world Alica calls Kalinda to confirm that David Lee’s past with Canning complicates things. Their call gets interrupted by Johnny, who tells Alicia a blog might have audio of Bishop saying he “bought the next State’s attorney.” You knew that PAC was going to come back at some point.

Trying to imagine a longer sound bite from Bishop that points out even if elected Alicia wouldn’t be in office (to potentially help out Bishop and company) for six months, Alicia sidesteps the question of the maybe existent sound-bite with the imaginary editorial board.

Kalinda calls to confirm Alicia’s suspicions, based on phone records it does look like David Lee has been helping Canning. Still, Cary and Diane agree it’s not time to settle. With that call over, Alicia seems to finally heed Johnny’s advice, turning off her phone, which gives her time to talk to mind-Bishop. Alica asks him to step away (with his money) from the PAC to give it that clean, non-crime feel. Rethinking even being seen talking with Bishop, Alica taps mind-Kalinda to give him her request, but after their conversation stalls mind-Kalinda opens a door to find… Peter. Remember Kalinda and Peter? That thing where one of the series’ most interesting character slept with the most boring, ruining the lovely Alica-Kalinda friendship? Even mind-Peter is confused as why busy Alicia, who has loved one man since Peter and is currently nursing multiple crushes, would be wasting valuable mind-space imagining another Peter-Kalinda-tryst.

Back into the imaginary debate with Canning, they’ve barely gotten into the discussion when Bishop’s words start coming out of Canning’s mouth (Alicia didn’t take the nighttime cold meds, right?). Then back to Bishop, who suggests he put out a statement in support of Prady, making it look like that State’s Attorney candidate he was taking about in the soundbite was him (important to note all these ideas are actually coming from Alicia). And back to mind-Canning, who alleges he lost a top client, one worth the twelve million dollars he’s asking for through the settlement, because he was evicted. Alicia however (imagines? guesses? totally knew but I guess forgot?) that the real reason Canning lost the client was because they caught then-Canning partner Howard taking one of his post lunch pants-less naps.

But an understandably put-out mind-Canning comes up with a question about Bishop and the PAC she can’t wiggle out of without flat-out lying. “To your knowledge, has Lemond Bishop contributed to your campaign or PAC?” She wants to speak the truth, but mind-Eli (probably rightfully) points out it would be campaign suicide. A quick check on the website that reported on the soundbite in the first place leaves Alicia fixating on one of those annoying automatic-play ads for a credit card, which has her spooked. Is Alicia in credit card debt from buying all those gorgeous suit and skirt sets? Has she been inspired to fight for the everyday Internet user and make the automatic play illegal? Nope, it’s because the voice reminds her of Will, bringing up a flashback of a time when The Good Wife had a little less politics and a little more romance. It seems like a weird moment to address Will, but her shock at putting together her feeling of unease with her grief is so visceral, I was on board. After sidestepping Marissa who was sweetly, or creepily, waiting in the hall outside her apartment, Alicia escapes for a walk to clear her head.

Pro-tip, Alicia: When trying to clear your head of sex, don’t listen to a song that sounds like it was last used in some super artsy foreign porn. Her sexy soundtrack and coordinating Will bedroom flashbacks were interrupted by a call from Johnny, who tries to assure her she doesn’t have to worry about the potential Bishop question. This comfort is slightly interrupted, however, by the sudden vision of someone slowly unbuttoning Johnny. And Johnny kissing Alicia’s neck. And as he advises her to use her literal lawyer reasoning to honestly say she doesn’t like know, know that Bishop put any money in the PAC, suddenly mind-Alicia is in bed not with Johnny but with Finn. Remember him?

And now Johnny’s voice, oddly tinny from the phone, is coming out of Finn’s mouth, and no amount of mood lighting or black underwear can bring the mood back. After hanging up, the music is back, leading her to an awkward tableau of Peter and Kalinda in bed, with Peter asking why she can enjoy the company of others, but not him? After stepping out unto a balcony to tell a comically not Will’s profile that she’s missed him, Alicia finally realizes a new song choice might be in order, and an airy song leads mind-Will to spout some encouraging platitudes. Their heart-to-heart is interrupted by a text from someone named Evan, telling her not to give up on God. Before she can figure out exactly who’s trying to convert her via text, Grace chimes in, saying she’s done with God. A quick check in with her daughter confirms that Zack updating his phone can cause text mix-ups within a family plane (is this really a thing? and the kids are totally chill about their mom maybe getting some of their texts? You officially don’t need to worry about them, Alicia).

An upbeat song switches mind-Alicia to another discussion with mind-Canning, who blames his most recent decline in health on the eviction. With the help of some classical music Alicia realizes that as the clock runs out for Canning, he doesn’t really want the money, he wants the win, one last win before he dies. Her revelation is interrupted with a call from Diane and Cary, who tell her Canning is in the hospital. After a little mulling, Alicia decides to go and visit.

While waiting at the hospital Alicia and her increasingly complex mental drama try to process Grace’s loss of faith. Easily one of the more interesting storylines involving her children, Grace’s leaving her faith behind is just as complicated for her atheist mother as her finding it. Whatever your personal beliefs are, religion is tied to many things parents would kill to see their teens practicing-respecting their parents, waiting on sex, in general trying to do the right thing. As Richard Dawkins (real in Alicia’s mind, but actually an actor playing Dawkins) points out, you don’t have to be religious to be moral, but there’s still the guilt that Alicia might have pushed her daughter away from something that truly brought her happiness and peace. This guilt manifests itself in a pretty funny image of a pregnant Grace sniffing glue (are parents still afraid their kids will sniff glue? They’re inhaling and spitting out condoms, people, worry about the real stuff).

All the thoughts about religion and ethics lead Alicia to decide she has to come clean about Bishop funding her PAC, and after a moment of congratulations from the imaginary board for her integrity mind-Eli pops up to remind her it’s more likely the confession would kill her chances to win. She’s taken back to the real world for a chat with Canning’s wife, who asks her to pray for him. Alicia agrees, because there is no good way to refuse a request from a sweet, about to be widow. So Alicia enlists the help of Grace, who okays her mom’s plan to outsource her prayers.

But at Alicia’s apartment, Marissa bizarrely tells Grace she’s not trying to replace her. Grace seems appropriately weirded out by that sentiment and goes to chat with her mom. She explains her faith comes and goes and wishes her good luck on the interview. Wanting to get all her kid related stuff off her to-do list, Alicia calls Zack, and though she doesn’t actually get ahold of him, apologizing for her silence and giving mind-Zack a hug seems to take the weight off (he still thinks you hate him Alicia, FYI. It’s going to be an awkward spring break). With that taken care of and her voice mostly back, Johnny reminds her if she doesn’t lie to get elected she won’t be able to do the good she wants to do in the position. Mind-Prady counters that truth is always the way to go. Then, starring at Johnny, she says goodbye to mind-Will, which seems like a very dismissive way of getting closer with such a big, emotional figure in her life. She promises to stay mum on Bishop and goes into the editorial interview, confident as ever.

Next week: Elections! Kissing! It must be mid-March TV.

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