“Pretty Little Liars” recap (5.20): Flashdance


Emily picks up Hanna for dance practice, and we find out that Emily spent her childhood dancing before she realized that all the gay girls were on the swim team. She then casually asks Ashley Marin if it’s OK to date someone who you don’t see a future with, and Ashley is all “ the only future I see is me cradling a box of Merlot like a baby, so whatever.”

Screen Shot 2015-02-17 at 9.10.48 PMI’ve had a rough morning so I’ll just be eating these pancakes with my bare hands

Andrew tells Aria about Mike’s tree treasures, and offers to take her to the tree. Aria turns him down, instead asking him to describe the tree. Best of luck with that one, Montgomery. Andrew assures her that he/his penis is there for her should she need them.

Screen Shot 2015-02-17 at 9.11.39 PMBrown trunk, branches, leaves. Should be easy enough.

Jonny asks to borrow Spencer’s toolbox because he wants to break into the art gallery and steal back his work. She tries to stop him for 45 seconds before grabbing her black beanie and hopping into the getaway car. Petty crime is the new study speed, apparently.

Caleb watches Emily and Hanna dance to “Bang Bang” and it is basically a Hanily wet dream come to life. He also brings them two cheesesteaks, which strikes me as the worst possible food to eat before a dance performance.

Screen Shot 2015-02-17 at 9.16.38 PMHope you girls enjoy the diarrhea you will definitely be having later

Hanna is stressed out about dancing for her coach, but she really loses it when she finds out that her stepsister Kate will also be competing in the pageant. After losing her father and her college fund to Kate, Hanna isn’t about to lose that crown. She smacks the hoagie out of poor Emily’s hands and demands they get back to work.

Screen Shot 2015-02-17 at 9.17.34 PM I’m gonna win that crown and then shove it up Kate’s ass!

Screen Shot 2015-02-17 at 9.18.03 PMWhile we’re airing grievances, I actually wanted Diet Snapple soooo…

Spencer and Jonny pull up in the mystery machine and Jonny tries to pick the lock of the art gallery. Spencer quickly takes over and breaks in like a pro. Further proof that you don’t send a boy to do a Spencer Hastings job. Jonny and Spencer take the art off the walls, set off an alarm, and speed off into the night.

Screen Shot 2015-02-17 at 9.18.40 PMStep off Jonny, I’ve been picking locks longer than you’ve been unemployed

Meanwhile, Aria goes clomping around in Mona’s backyard in the darkness looking for a tree different from all other trees. She finds the mystery tree and then gets attacked by bats.

Screen Shot 2015-02-17 at 9.26.34 PMI need an adult!

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