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Sisters, Secrets and Scorpions! “Orphan Black” Season 3 teasers

Good news, Clonesbians: Orphan Black teasers are back!

And just like last year, I’ve been decoding the secret binary messages in them so you don’t have to. Below I will be talking about each of the teasers, including the answers to riddles, so if you want to solve it yourself, go to the BBC America YouTube page and work on the puzzles before coming back here to process with us. If you prefer your spoilers and previews delivered to you on a silver platter, continue on.

Teaser #1: Sarah

Her mantra: I am not your property.

Her binary: Some bathtubs are bloody. All blood is suspicious. Conclusion: Some bathtubs are suspicious. True or False?

The answer to the logic puzzle: True

Things we learned: Sarah will meet one of the boyclones. And he will be looking at her with wild eyes and then dare call her “the wild one.”

How we feel: Terrified. But the way she says, “I’m not with DYAD” makes me want to start a revolution.

Teaser #2: Alison

Her mantra: I am not your toy.

Her binary: Some products are hypoallergenic. All soaps are hypoallergenic. Conclusion: All products are soap. True or False?

The answer to the logic puzzle: False

Things we learned: She ain’t afraid of no clone. Alison is too busy coaching her kids’ soccer team to worry about the existence of boyclones and their threats. She has guns. And a craft room.

How we feel: Amused. I love that Alison is in complete denial about the seriousness of their situation. In true suburban housewife fashion, she’s pretending that absolutely nothing is wrong, hoping if she ignores it, it will go away.

Teaser #3: Helena

Her mantra: I am not your weapon.

Her binary: Some scorpions are predators. No predator is a pet. Conclusion: Some scorpions pets. True or False?

The answer to the logic puzzle: False (unless you’re using Helena!Logic.)

Things we learned: Helena’s kidnappers have her in a cage and she does not look like she’s holding up well, physically. She seems to be her old self emotionally. Threatening people and making fun sound effects.

How we feel: Vengeful. Even though Helena started out on our bad side, that precious little psychopath has won her way into our hearts. We went from wanting to protect our favorite clones from her to wanting to protect her right alongside them. I’m hoping these jerkfaces go up in flames like the Prolethean Plantation.

Teaser #4: Cosima

Her mantra: I am not your experiment.

Her binary: No organ functions without oxygen. Some organs are brains. Conclusion: Some brains function without oxygen. True or False?

The answer to the logic puzzle: False.

Things we learned: Cosima will elicit Scott’s help to decode the book Kira got from Professor Duncan, but won’t tell her fellow clones (who she calls her sisters! my heart!) until they figure out what it means.

How we feel: Stressed. The clones have 99 problems and secrets are at least 95 of them, so I’m not sure keeping anything from Sara and Alison is really in Cosima’s best interest.

(Fun fact: I figured out by accident while trying to gather embed codes: If you go to the BBC America Video page and use control + click to open all the teasers backwards slowly-like four, three, two, one-and listen to them at the same time, they line up in a pretty badass way. I’m easily amused.)

Bonus Teaser: So, at the end of the binary for Cosima’s teaser, the url cloneclub.tumblr.com appeared. I went to it, and it requires a password. To decode it, you have to answer the questions posed across all four teasers.

I don’t want to spoil the fun, so I won’t tell you the password. But I will tell you that I’ve given you the key to open the door, you just have to find it. (Tweet me @PunkyStarshine if you give up and NEED the answer.)

The full-length teaser is a whole scene involving a sestra (and brother/sestra) chat with Alison, Sarah, Felix, and Cosima. Fe calls Cosima his new roomie, and said roomie is on the floor playing dress-up with Kira, shouting questions about Delphine in the general direction of the phone. Alison isn’t focusing on the conversation because she’s coaching and is honestly more worried about a half-blind ref than an army of boyclones. Felix tells Sarah Cosima’s temperature is back to normal, which makes me cautiously optimistic about her health, and they mention that Helena is still MIA, which makes Sarah nervous. Felix and Sarah agree to meet up at Mrs. S’s house for some good old-fashioned sibling mischief.

SO MUCH INFORMATION IN SUCH A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. As if we needed more to get us excited about Season 3.

Another thing getting us excited is Ksenia Solo. No one else in the cast is especially high-volume in the social-media department, so Ksenia has been a wonderful peek into the world, though her posts are frustratingly vague and deliciously mysterious.

The two latest involve Cosima’s laptop:

Ohhhhh the mysteryyyy #OrphanBlack

A photo posted by Ksenia Solo (@therealksolo) on Feb 12, 2015 at 10:15pm PST

Also of interest, one of the binary messages, and also the landing page for the full preview, involves a scorpion. I read the entire Wikipedia article about scorpions (you’re welcome) and the only thing I could figure out that seemed relevant was that sometimes scorpion venom can be used to treat autoimmune disorders. And everything I know about science and medicine I learned from TV (and thereby isn’t particularly reliable) but that sounds like it could be relevant to Cosima’s life (and its continuation).

However, “Scorpion” could also be the name of Operation Killer Boyclones for all we know; they too can be classified as predators. I could also be reading too much into it.

It’s only February, so I’m hoping we’ll get more peeks into the season between now and April 18th. And of course, I’ll be right here to process them with you. Meanwhile, I’ll be researching what bathtubs, blood, hypoallergenic soap, scorpions, brains and oxygen have to do with anything.

So, hit me, Clonesbians. Theories, opinions, hopes, dreams, fears? Ways to pass the time between now and April 18th?

Oh the mystery #OrphanBlack

A photo posted by Ksenia Solo (@therealksolo) on Feb 11, 2015 at 2:31pm PST

And a picture of her character, Shay, in what appears to be Felix’s loft:

Ohhhhh the mysteryyyy #OrphanBlack

A photo posted by Ksenia Solo (@therealksolo) on Feb 12, 2015 at 10:15pm PST

Also of interest, one of the binary messages, and also the landing page for the full preview, involves a scorpion. I read the entire Wikipedia article about scorpions (you’re welcome) and the only thing I could figure out that seemed relevant was that sometimes scorpion venom can be used to treat autoimmune disorders. And everything I know about science and medicine I learned from TV (and thereby isn’t particularly reliable) but that sounds like it could be relevant to Cosima’s life (and its continuation).

However, “Scorpion” could also be the name of Operation Killer Boyclones for all we know; they too can be classified as predators. I could also be reading too much into it.

It’s only February, so I’m hoping we’ll get more peeks into the season between now and April 18th. And of course, I’ll be right here to process them with you. Meanwhile, I’ll be researching what bathtubs, blood, hypoallergenic soap, scorpions, brains and oxygen have to do with anything.

So, hit me, Clonesbians. Theories, opinions, hopes, dreams, fears? Ways to pass the time between now and April 18th?

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