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“Gotham” recap (1.13): Can’t Keep a Good Fish Down

Welcome back to Gotham, the show with a thousand plots…three of which are actually interesting!

We open with the immediate aftermath of Falcone’s shutdown/murder show. Fish is wheeled into a scary warehouse (of which Gotham has, like, a million) and is tied up for torture. Ruh-roh.

Meanwhile, Gordon and Bullock investigate their case o’ the week: a murdered drug dealer named Pinky who works for the Uptown Assassins. Officer Flass is already on the case. You may remember Flass as the bully who was flirting with Miss Kringle, or from the dozens of movies where this guy plays a meathead/bully.

Nobody seems to care about the killing, except for James Gordon, who cares about everything all the time. He finds drugs hidden in the victim’s shoe and a friendly janitor named Winkler who was an eye witness.

Winkler is a sweet, stand-up guy who agrees to go down to the station to give his statement. But Gotham is no place for schmoes with souls, so he’s murdered in the interrogation room. Gotham PD may be brazenly corrupt, but murdering witnesses in the precinct is generally frowned upon.

Back at the Fish Tank, a torture specialist by the name of Bob is getting ready to de-bone Fish. Fun fact: We find out Fish’s real name is Marine Mercedes Moon. Marine? Like the ocean? Full of fish? GET IT!? But Fish Mooney has long since run out of fucks to give, and proceeds to spit an impossibly large loogie right in Bob’s face. Like, a comical amount of spit. She also calls his kids ugly, which is a pretty bold thing to say to someone with an arsenal of power tools.

Back at the station, Captain Essen is upset about the witness murder, but not upset enough to really investigate. Gordon suggests that a cop probably did it because all Gotham cops are crooked garbage people. Essen tells him to stop stirring the turd, as he is barely back on the force and everyone hates him. Looks like we’re in for another installment of Gordon vs. The GCPD. Yawn. I wonder what Renee Montoya is doing right now.

Looks like I’m gonna keep wondering, as it’s Baby Bruce’s turn at the Wheel of Recurring Characters. Bruce and Alfred are back from their Swiss vacation and are combing the streets for Selina Kyle. They bump into Ivy, and ask her to tell Selina they’re looking for her. Ivy is all, “that’ll be $20, fancy pants” and walks off.

Meanwhile, Fish is being suffocated in a plastic bag, which is fucked up. What major city is still using plastic bags? GET SOME REUSABLE TOTES, GOTHAM! Bob rips the bag off her head, ready to see some begging, but Fish laughs in his face and calls him boring. She literally says, “Is that all you got?” to the man suffocating her. Before Bob can use his drill or hammer on her, Butch swings in and saves the day. He rescues Fish, and we get a quick glimpse of the terror she was feeling as she shudders in his arms. Top notch acting from Pinkett-Smith, who always tempers her over-the-top character with moments of genuine emotion.

Gordon proceeds to interrogate all the cops on duty, but gets nowhere because everyone thinks he’s a tool. Bullock helps him put pressure on one of the cops, who gives up strung out officer called Delaware.

Gordon catches Delaware before he runs off and finds drugs in his trunk. He hauls Delaware into the precinct and makes a big show of arresting him in front of all the other cops. Dude, Essen JUST asked you to keep a low profile!

Later, Gordon meets with Essen and Flass, who tells him that the drugs he found were part of a larger narcotics sting operation. Essen takes Gordon and Bullock off the case and sends it to Internal Affairs which, given the state of law enforcement in Gotham, is probably a trash bag full of spaghetti.

Meanwhile, Nigma makes a card for Miss Kringle. Guys, he’s trying SO hard.

Fish wakes up in a motel room with Butch watching over her. He brings her ice and tends to her, and it’s actually really sweet. I love the relationship between these two. Butch suggests they leave Gotham, but Fish isn’t running anywhere until she kills Penguin.

Speaking of, Penguin brings his mother to see his brand new night club aka Fish’s club. Momma Cobblepot loves the joint and proceeds to get drunk and dance with Penguin’s goons. She also takes Liza’s scarf, which is inexplicably still in the bar. This is supposed to be an upsetting moment, but Mrs. Cobblepot looks like she only wears dead people’s clothing so who cares.

Bullock and Gordon are in a coffee shop, where Bullock tells Jim that the entire narcotics department is dealing drugs out of stash houses and working for Maroni. Bullock warns Gordon that Flass is protected by powerful people, but Gordon refuses to listen.

This follows Gotham’s classic episode pattern:

  1. Gordon finds out the cops/lawmakers/entire population of Gotham is crooked.
  2. Bullock/Essen tell Gordon to leave it alone because it’s just Gotham Town, baby.
  3. Gordon ignores them and arrests people anyway.
  4. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Give or take a gaggle of dirty-faced street orphans, this is basically how every episode plays out.

Anyways, Gordon and Bullock bust a stash house and try to arrest the crooked cops. The arrest fails because the cops are protected, and even worse, Winkler’s death is ruled a suicide. Apparently getting stabbed in the back with an ice pick is now suicide. Gordon sees Winkler’s widow crying and refuses to take anymore of this nonsense. Everyone else at GCPD continues to act like a stone-cold monster.

In the file room, Flass and his buddies are making fun of Nigma’s love card. I feel bad for Nigma, but man is it going to be satisfying when he goes nuts and turns into The Riddler. I’m basically Team Nigma at this point, you guys.

Back at the club, Penguin is hosting the saddest party ever with his mom and two employees. Gordon shows up and asks a favor of him: he needs hard evidence to put Flass away, and Penguin is already hooked into the drug trade. Delighted to help his friend, Penguin jumps at the opportunity to be of service to Gordon.

Also, drunk Mrs. Cobblepot meets Gordon and makes him kiss her hand like she’s in a friggin’ Jane Austen novel. It’s delightful.

Meanwhile, Victor Zsasz and his crew of killer girls murder Bob the torturer and go on the hunt for Fish and Butch.

Penguin gets drunk by himself and dances and rubs up on his new bar. It’s creepy and weird. He also spits on the Fish wall hanging. Everyone is spitting in this episode for some reason. This town is gross.

Penguin’s solo party is interrupted by Butch, Fish, and a metal baseball bat. It’s time for Fish to get her grand revenge.

Over at Wayne Manor, Bruce is playing chess by himself when Selina sneaks in through the window. He asks her to move back into Wayne Manor and gives her a snow globe from Switzerland. Selina is basically, “Fuck you, fuck your snow globe, and fuck your butler.” She then says she lied about seeing the Wayne killer’s face and skedaddles out the window. Poor Bruce smashes his snow globe and cries.

Across town, Penguin’s Goon #1 is drowning Delaware’s wife to get evidence. Gordon asked Penguin not to hurt anyone, but I think Penguin was too drunk/evil to care.

Poor Penguin is being forced to kiss Fish’s boots, and she smacks him around with her bat. He offers to join forces with her, but she is in no fucking mood. Before she can continue to use his face as batting practice, Victor Zsasz shows up and chases Butch and Fish out of the club.

They run down a dirty hallway (has no one in Gotham ever heard of a Swiffer?) and Fish jumps out a window. Butch sacrifices himself to slow down Zsasz and let her escape, and gets shot. Will Butch survive? Not likely.

Back at the precinct, Nigma is removing onions from his pasta under a microscope, which basically makes him my soul mate. Miss Kringle stops by to apologize for Flass and says that he stole the card from her desk. She also calls the card thoughtful. Nigma is about to ask her out and she shuts him down right quick. Nigma is still psyched however…genuine female interaction! Dream big, buddy.

Goon #1 drops off a paper bag on Gordon’s desk with a taped confession and the ice pick. Evidence is now LITERALLY falling into Gordon’s lap. Gordon arrests Flass in front of everyone and gives a speech about the power of the police badge. Essen is like, “Fuck it, I’m in, let’s arrest this jag.” Some cops are slow clapping, but most of them are just annoyed. Victory?

Back at Wayne Manor, Alfred finds Bruce crying over his spilt snow globe and tells him to man up. Actually, he says this:

“Shall I get a broom, or would you rather cry over the shattered fragments of your young dreams?”

COLD BLOODED ALFRED IS COLD BLOODED. Bruce tells him to get a broom and continues to work on his massive murder board.

Bullock meets Fish at the docks and gives her his coat. She tells him she is leaving town to lick her wounds and will come back with a plan to kill Penguin. Bullock begs her to stay away, as she will never be safe in Gotham. She asks him to save Butch if he can, and then kisses him goodbye right on the mouth. Are these two a thing now?

Back at the GCPD, Gordon is gloating over his big moral stand when Delaware accosts him and begs him to spare his family. Gordon is horrified that Delaware is scared of him, and that innocent people got hurt for him to get what he wanted. But innocent people are getting hurt in Gotham on the daily, so I’m finding it hard to care.

Is Gotham turning me into a super villain? Looks likely.

Are you as frustrated by this show as I am? Let me know @ChelseaProcrast

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