“Pretty Little Liars” recap (5.15): Give it Up, You’re All Going to Hollis

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Hanna has ditched her college tour to go visit a creepy old trailer park to stalk Holbrook’s father. She finds beer cans, shotgun shells, and an old bearded weirdo carving up a dead deer carcass. She meets Old Man Holbrook, who is wearing a stained ribbed tank, aka the dirtbag uniform (aka what I’m wearing while writing this recap). He tells her he hasn’t seen Holbrook in weeks and thinks she’s Ali.

 pll107I’m wearing ripped white jeans. I’ll blend right into this trailer park.

Hanna leaves the trailer park of death to find that her car has been broken into. Someone filled her Ballard College bulldog with deer guts and they spill all over her shoes. She seems grossed out, but after the cow brain in the locker, it’ll take more than that to faze these girls.

pll121And that’s why you don’t do detective work in suede shoes.

Spencer and Caleb go into the woods to find the cow as white as snow, the cape as red as blood, and the knife as incriminating as a video tape of their previous conversation. They find the knife, wrap it in a towel, and take it to Meryl Streep to reverse the curse.

Aria brings Emily her new and improved Talmadge letter, which consists of bashing Ezra and blaming their relationship for all her problems. Emily tells her this will obviously get back to Ezra and break his heart parts, but Aria is too consumed by Talmadge fever to give a shit. Meanwhile, Paige hasn’t texted Emily back, and Emily only got three hours of sleep before she has to stuff all the empanadas in the world.

pll129this isn’t a letter, it’s just a picture of Ezra’s face with a dick drawn on it!pll130That’s obviously my art supplement, Em!

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