“Lost Girl” recap (5.3): This never happens to me, I swear

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Bo picks up what sister is putting down and realizes Musashi is a bona fide bullshit artist. He isn’t the one who won the great battle and we all have a very strong suspicion we know who did instead. But sister says there is dishonor in revealing a truth that blah blah blah. I get it. Is Ralph Macchio going to swoop in and be the man who fights for your honor Karate Kid Part II style, too?

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So now Bo is on a mission to get Musashi to admit his dishonor, or something. She suits up in black leather which momentarily relieves me of my annoyance over this plotline. She throws Tamsin another leather outfit and now I’m twice as distracted. Tami is pretty happy about it too because now her Kill Bill fantasies are complete. Mine, too.

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Our leather-clad ladies arrive at the ascension ceremony. They’re dressed like ninjas because, of course they are. There are also other ninjas there because, of course there are. A fight ensues with nunchakus and katanas flying everywhere.

But then out of nowhere another fighter flies in on that mystical ray of light and, well, you know where this is going. Everyone takes off their masks and it’s Musashi’s sister. She was the great hero and exalted one all along. But her dumb brother took the credit. The revelation has everyone bowing down (bitches) to the rightful exalted one while Musashi sputters and runs off.

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Lauren is back in training with Dyson. She is practicing throwing stars because by God this episode has a theme and it’s going with it. But she is pretty bad at them, despite Dyson’s instructions to throw “from the wrist.” He asks her how she would normally defend herself and Lauren reels off a number of chemicals and concoctions guaranteed to cause everything from unconsciousness to paralysis and death. See, she knows how to wrist it when she is in her element.

She wants to try the axe again, which I’m very sorry we missed, but Dyson says she should stick to the stars. This would all be so much easier if only there was a physics equation she could use. But instead of giving her math, Dyson gives her a new way of thinking about her training. She learns to save herself so she can keep saving others, specifically Bo.

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Then she notices Dyson is troubled as well, and presses him. He is convinced that Bo blames him for stopping her from saving Kenzi. But Lauren looks at him like, “Oh, honey, please don’t try to mansplain Bo’s issues to me.” She says she wishes it was that, but it’s that Bo can’t stop blaming herself. Men, always convinced they’re the center of the universe, yet still actually just revolving around the sun with the rest of us.

They do agree, at least, that the weight of the world rests on Bo’s “very attractive shoulders.” He asks how they are doing, you know, couplewise. Lauren goes to the “Bo needs a friend”-place and Dyson tells her now. Bam, the star hits firmly near center. Throwing stars as a form of processing? I can get behind that.

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Back at the SuccuShack, Bo is giving herself a Stuart Smalley-like pep talk. You’re good enough. You’re smart enough. And people like you. But then Musashi shows up behind her suddenly and stabs her in the gut. A gravely injured Bo crawls to her phone and just doesn’t make it. So, that’s the end of our show. Thanks for watching. It had a good run.

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