“Lost Girl” recap (5.3): This never happens to me, I swear

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The next morning, a hung-over Bo wakes up next to a hung-over Tamsin…in bed. But really in bed, not like fortune cookie in bed. Bo confirms they didn’t, you know, and Tamsin assures her they did not. But then Bo asks if she minds if she does now. Since when did all of Bo’s buddies become flesh-covered snack packs?

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Bo is hit with another case of S.D. (Succubus Dysfunction) and says she can’t. Tamsin assumes it’s the morning breath, but it’s not her, it’s Bo. Do they make Fae Viagra? Well, it turns out it’s probably a good thing Bo couldn’t perform because Musashi is in the room with them, twirling a knife like a true creeper.

After some chit chatting and some my-knife-is-bigger-than-your-knifing, Musashi admits a failsafe assassin has been tapped to kill him. So he’ll need two body guards. And, apparently, that’s Bo and Tamsin. Bo isn’t pleased, but Tam-Tam just goes in for more snuggles.

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Musashi explains his situation to the ladies over sushi. Tamsin confirms the assassin is some guy named Big Taco who she knew from her bounty hunter days. Then Tamsin drops her chopsticks in awe when she sees a tapestry because she realizes the Musashi they’re talking with is the Musashi of legend.

I’ll spare you the details, but it boils down to him winning some great Fae battle singlehandedly. While he is bragging about his exploits, his only sister spills some tea on him accidently on purpose. So, good, it’s like every other family – dysfunctional.

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Someone is trying to kill him because he is ascending, which means he’ll be a god of his ancestors. If the Dawning was a Fae adolescence, is this like Fae menopause? I’m just trying to understand the life cycle because it’s very confusing and also possibly constantly changing.

Across town, Lauren walks into a sweaty gym reluctantly. It’s Dyson’s sweaty gym and she asks him to train her – and also to put on a shirt. Dr. Lauren Lewis: Voice of the Lesbian Fandom. She wants training like Kenzi received, but less in panty removal because she has that on lockdown, and more on self defense.

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Dyson invites her immediately into the ring and, goodness, this should be interesting. He asks her to show how she defends herself and starts throwing slow punches. Lauren’s reply is pretty much arm flailing and pleas for mercy. This, coincidentally, is also how I defend myself. I should probably start carrying mace.

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Lauren deflects, asking if this is what his foreplay with Bo is like. But clearly our good doctor is a lover not a fighter. Dyson reassures her and says they will find something that will work for her. They’ll run some tests which makes her eyes light up. Sorry, I need to correct my earlier statement. She’s a big adorable nerd goofball lover, not a fighter.

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