“South of Nowhere” Recap: Episode 3.13 “Better Late Than Never”


Use me up — Glen

and Chelsea are getting down in her studio and she takes a call in the middle

of it.

It’s Sean and Chelsea sounds relieved to hear from him. Much

to Glen’s dismay, she tells Sean that she’s doing “nothing special,” which is

good because he’s on his way over! Chelsea

tersely tells Glen to please put his shirt on “now.” Ouch! I’m sure her haste to get him clothed

has nothing to do with that gnarly farmer’s tan he’s sporting. Don’t they have tanning accessories at Sports


Glen wants to know if she’s willing to talk about “what just

happened” and after getting a puzzled look he reminds her of the lovin’, touchin’ and squeezin’ that just took place about 30 seconds earlier.

Oh, that!


tells Glen that she’s “glad” that “it” happened because she hasn’t kissed

anyone since Clay died and she’s glad that it was him, Clay’s brother. Because it’s was so “friendly…and fun!

Totally fun!” She’s also glad that it

was no-strings-attached because Glen surely doesn’t want strings either, right?

Right? The she tells them that they

shouldn’t tell anyone because they won’t hear the end of it. Right? Right?

Glen glumly gets dressed as she nervously darts around

him. He asks what her hurry is, then

finds out when she opens the door for Sean, who is holding a big bouquet of


Good morning,

— Over at Chez Carlin, two other teenagers are having a more

successful illicit hook-up.

Unfortunately, we don’t get to see any of it.

I have no proof, but I’m willing to bet that neither Ashley nor

Spencer have any tan lines to speak of.

Spencer is trying to sneak her tawny girlfriend out of her bedroom

before anyone else at her house wakes up.

But as she’s tip-toeing out, Ashley runs into Paula in the

stairwell. You know what they say about the early bird catching the dyke!

Spencer makes a pathetic attempt to cover up their sleepover

by blurting out, “Ashley, when did you get here?” And Paula gives her a “don’t EVEN”

glare. Ashley chuckles and skips away to

her parent-free abode, and Paula tells Spencer that they will talk about what

just happened later.

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