“Lost Girl” recap (5.2): I ain’t afraid of no ghosts

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Bo is still opening up doors to nowhere in Hell, but finally finds one with something interesting inside. Well, sort of interesting depending on your level of maternal instincts. It’s a child’s room complete with rocking horse, rocking chair and non-rocking cradle. Bo flashes back to the end of Season 3 and The Dawning Yawning. It’s where she saw her faceless father rock her and her scared mother steal her. Yep, our Bo-Bo is the literal definition of a Hell spawn.

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Persephone gives us some needed backstory about how Aife was captured by Hades and imprisoned. Also, it’s subtle, but it’s interesting how we’re just straight-up calling Bo’s dad Hades now. So he isn’t The Wanderer or Odin or some fire-breathing Pegasus after all. I guess if you’re going to go big with your crazy storyline, go King of the Underworld big.

Hades gloated about how Bo would be “a queen capable of dominion over life and death.” Bo gets a lot of warm, fuzzy feelings for her mom especially after she finds her cave drawing of them together when she was a baby. Hey, where is Aife, anyway? Too busy chasing Tatiana Maslany, probably.

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Now there’s a lot of talk of an Artemis Moon Candle. Please, like this show isn’t lesbian enough. Let’s get some Birkenstocks and organic cat treats up in here while we’re at it. Bo is trying to find it to get out of Hell, but Persephone is like, bitch, that was my way out. Well, she should be like that. But instead she helps point Bo to where the candle might be and puts her back on the elevator.

The glowy handprint flares back up on Bo’s chest, and then the Penthouse button on the elevator shines blue. Isn’t living in the penthouse antithetical to the concept of a Lord of the Underworld? Just saying? The doors open and it’s black. Just pitch black nothingness. But at least Bo’s dress looks great.

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Bo tries to taunt her father into facing her. Please, they’ve waited five years. They’re not going to blow it two episodes in. Bo says he is “darkness, and I’m not walking into it,” and then promptly walks into the darkness more. People, listen to your own words. Then she tries to reverse psychology her dad by saying she never wants to meet him, I think.

But now there’s talk of meeting on her terms with her true family “who would never abandon me.” So then in the darkness she stumbles upon a candle sitting on a pillar. And she tells Hades dearest she’s going to take everything he has, starting with the Artemis Moon Candle.

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Bo sprints back to the elevator and just as the doors are closing an arm reaches out and chokes her. But not like her “I’m pretending to choke my girlfriend”-way with Lauren. The real deal choking. But Bo is having none of it and says her mother taught her how to fight. So she blues her eyes and breaks free. Kinda pretty unimpressed with Daddy Darkness right now. He is weak, he is bad at hiding candles and his place really needs a good dusting. Did you see all those cobwebs?

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At a seventh grade slumber party in another dimension, Kenzi and Lauren are about to use the Ouija board. But first there must be the ritual eating of the blood sausage. As a gay lady, Lauren naturally crinkles her nose at the thought of any kind of sausage. Plus she is a little worried they’re going to corporealize a spirit without Trick.

I have to agree. How about just a couple games of “Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board” to pass the time instead?

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