“Lost Girl” recap (5.2): I ain’t afraid of no ghosts

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Lauren tells Kenzi how single-minded Bo was in pursuit of the Hell Shoes. Gosh, wish we’d gotten to see some of that single-mindedness instead of a trip to the cuckoo’s nest.

Kenzi assures her she knows Bo will be fine and it’s like she is “right here beside us.” As if on cue another beaker falls off a counter on its own and then a mysterious hand writes “H-E-L-P” on a glass pane. Welcome to Subplot B: Lost Ghost.

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In Subplot C, Dyson is waiting at the gates to Valhalla when Mean Valkyrie Stacey emerges. She’s on a mission to get another soul, one close to Bo’s heart, to balance the books up in the Big V. Hey, you call heaven what you want, I’ll call it what I wish it was.

Dyson turns on the wolf charm and pretends to know someone perfect to fit Stacey’s soul bill. I say pretends with full confidence here because although we’re supposed to be fooled into thinking Dyson means to turn on Lauren here, we all know those two are tight now. Lesbros before Valkyrie ho-pe you didn’t think I was going to use a derogatory term for sexually active women there. Feminism, yo.

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Back in Hell, Bo is still fumbling around in the dark. For some reason she keeps thinking Kenzi is there. I guess she didn’t trust Frejya’s promise. We hear sobbing, and then someone asking for Bo’s help by name. But then there’s weird creepy laughing and tormenting voices. What, you were expecting Hell to be all cotton candy and unicorn rides?

Just then something takes a bite out of Bo, again, quite literally. The tormenter reveals herself to be a goblin. She says Bo has just been “bitch snacked,” which would be kind of clever if I understood what a goblin was doing trying to eat Bo in the first place. Perhaps I just don’t understand underworld etiquette. Perhaps this is just how everyone greets each other down here. Also, is it called Tartarus because it has a terrible dental plan?

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Then a blue bird (yes, a blue bird) flies up and all of a sudden she is a woman and I’m even more confused but at least now the goblin is gone. Well, the goblin is gone after Bo kicks it in the lady jewels. That’s what you get for using Lauren’s voice against her.

The former bird lady helps Bo after she conquers the maze we didn’t even know she was in. But she keeps saying “he” cannot know she is helping. They’re now wandering through what looks like the abandoned Valhalla lobby.

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Back at Bo’s pad, Kenzi is looking over what appears to be an impressive wig-making operation. Trick walks in and welcomes her, but really he’s there to inquire about the ghost. He has brought a tricked out (see what I did there?) Ouija board for them to conjure what Kenzi is sure is Bo’s spirit. But he warns them it could be Ghost Dad or Ghost Swazye trying to fool them. That ominous warning clearly means we have not seen the last of Subplot B: Lost Ghost.

Bird lady is trying to help our injured succubus with her wound, but Bo-Bo knows there’s really only one way to properly handle a boo-boo. So she grabs a little snack, but then decides when in Hell, why not fornicate? I mean, if it’s one of the sins that is supposed to put you there in the first place, it almost seems rude not to continue once there.

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