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“The Walking Dead” recap (5.7): Crossed

With a mid-season finale looming next Sunday, last night’s episode of The Walking Dead was surely going to leave us with a few cliffhangers. Refill your water bottles, keep your eyes peeled faster than a Georgia peach, and trust no one-I feel another war coming.

Rick decides to leave the church to go help rescue Beth and Carol from Atlanta. It’s a goodbye scene we’ve seen dozens of times, but little Carl isn’t so little anymore. He can “take” his Dad leaving to go fight walkers and save good people. Judith on the other hand is less impressed. For a baby that doesn’t cry when you think she’d be wailing, she’s most upset over Dad leaving. It’s time to prepare the church for any inevitable attacks. This means dismantling the organ, the cross, the pews-oh wait, the pews are all Sasha. Girl’s still upset from the major loss of her Bob, but no one really has their head on tightly anymore. Fr. Gabriel is eying his broken-down holy sanctuary with grief and disgust. He begins scrubbing at the floor with his fingertips-ugh, dude, please stop that. It’s dried-up blood he’s picking at, just pools of it all over the wooden floor of the church from the last attack-when the Terminus leftovers were finally put to rest. But a little spit and elbow grease will get this right up, right Gabe?

Up the road at another broken-down site, the fire truck and team GREATM, Tara is explaining to the group that the water supply has hit a zero. The delirium from lack of food has made Tara what us lezzies in relationships refer to as “hangry” when the other partner is acting a little cray in the afternoon. I’d say Tara’s exemplifying signs of this by her snark-when she shows Glenn the bottle caps of the water bottles she’s graced with their team name-it shows “solidarity.” (GREATM equals Glenn, Rosita, Eugene, Abraham, Tara and Maggie.) And by the way, I like it.

Do you hear that? It’s the sound of a new Sheriff in town. Abraham is acting a fool. Whether he and Rosita are more than post-world hookups or have a deeper relationship remains a little bit unclear, but Rosita isn’t going to stand by and watch her ginger let himself go. She tries snapping him out of his rage-he’s clearly reeling over Dr. Porter’s admission, probably going over scene after scene in his mind, and this life that he almost ended just seconds before Dr. Porter gave him a mission and a reason to survive. So, now what?

Rick is giving his group the master plan: How to successfully raid Grady Memorial without there being much noise, and quickly getting their job done. This involves slashing throats, using silencers and handing weapons to Beth and the other patients, who Noah says will be on board. Tyreese isn’t having it. He thinks he has a better plan, one that’ll bring some of those “cops” out of the hospital. Rick stands up and pierces us with baby blues and one of his reassuring lines about how this is the only way to get the job done.

When Rick says something will work: You either believe him, or you foresee that image of future Rick, ugly crying, apologizing, head hanging low, going deeper into the ravines of crazy Rick. And we do not want Crazy Rick coming out. Or do we? Maybe the better question is: Is Fr. Gabriel’s crazy about to come out? The man hasn’t really had the guts to fight yet, though we know he’s capable. Carl tries teaching him the ways to hold a knife and fend for himself, but it’s all too much. Michonne watches on, as if she’s not sure where Gabriel’s mind is at, but it can’t be good.

At Grady, Dawn is having a talk with one of the cops about their newest patient, Carol when word comes in on the last working walkie-talkie on Earth that there were shots fired due north. Beth, who’s on mop-duty, spins around and tells the cop he charges his DVD player every day so maybe he should think twice about using up their resources before they cut the cord on Carol. Dawn tells the cop to take her off life support, and then congratulates Beth on being the reason for it-only to pat her on the back two minutes later when she hands Beth a key to the drug locker and tells her she trusts her more than anyone with this because, apparently Beth has proven she’s not weak after all. I get it though-Dawn’s hypocritical bipolar back and forth is supposed to rev our engines all the more, now that we know Rick has it in for her. You know who Dawn could do well with? Dawn Dembo (minus her lover Cindy) from The L Word. Two Dawns, One Planet. They could live in their lap of luxury on the ocean, far away from walkers and hospital wards, bossing everyone around to their heart’s content. But enough dawn-dreaming…

We learn that Rosita met Abraham deep in the heart of Texas when he rolled up to save her group in his big ass truck, may it rest in peace. She’s showing Glenn and Tara a water-filtering hack Eugene taught her as they sit down by the river. He was the first person-the only person, who wanted Rosita on his side ever since this thing “started.” I get it. Someone tells you they have a plan and they’re going to save the world, so you believe it. Looks like the gang won’t go hungry another night, either. Glenn spots a ripple in the water-must be fish!

The catch of the day is the last thing on Noah’s mind. This guy can’t catch a break-or rather, that’s all he seems to catch. As he runs down an alley, the obvious bait for the the Grady cops out for the hunt in their white-crossed car, he gets snipped on the front end like he’s in an episode of COPS and they’re pulling the PIT maneuver and falls down on the pavement. Hershel’s rolling over in his grave like, “This boy still has two working legs?” The cops get out of the car, but they’re in for a treat: It’s Rick and the gang locked and loaded, and they have ’em surrounded. One of the cops recognizes the way Rick is acting and calls him out-saying he was once really a cop, too. Before everyone has a chance to slow their roll, another car comes barreling out of nowhere and begins shooting bullets left and right. It’s a backup car that came for the Grady cops. They’re all getting away! Sasha aims at the car tires and wins. The car goes immobile and the Grady cops book it through the woods, all but one. Daryl gets caught behind with the big guy who looks like he’s a Nazi from that old 90s computer game, Wolfenstein. He’s got Daryl in a tight squeeze between two bad (and I mean bad) looking walkers. In fact, these two walkers might be the worst looking I’ve seen on the show. They’re like, scaly, and pink. Daryl rips off one walker’s head and slams it against the Nazi cop’s head. I’m waiting for someone to show up to save Daryl.

It’s Rick. Gun blazing, he points his weapon and steadies his aim. Daryl tells him to stop. Oh, Daryl. Have you been taking nods from your buddy Carol? Rick lowers his gun when he hears Daryl say, “Three’s better than two.” They zip-tie the cop, but Rick has that wild comedown look in his eye like he really, really, really wanted to kill the S.O.B.

This may be the most broken-apart the group has ever been. And I feel it’s about to spread even thinner. As Rick, Sasha, Daryl, and Tyreese talk things over with the Grady cops, the lady cop (Teri Wyble) begins to crack-talking about how smart Dawn is and how they won’t stand a chance unless they let them go and allow them to get to Dawn themselves. The male cop (Maximiliano Hernández), the one who tried to make nice with Rick over their fraternity-like blue line isn’t having it, and maybe because of his relationship to Dawn. He lowers his voice and says he only wants to come to a calm resolution, and sleep in his bed tonight. Sasha and Daryl look back at him like, “Get a load of this guy-wanting to sleep in his bed tonight.”

Tell me: Is there anything more magical than Glenn’s face lit up by the speckling of the sun on a riverbed? (There isn’t.) They’ve fashioned fishing nets from the walkers that Tara was making fun of before they hit the river. Tara even finds a backpack hidden in the mud like a pearl in an oyster: There’s something in the bag that she’s excited to share with Glenn and Rosita. But what is it? Time out. Is Eugene ever going to wake up? He’s been under his princess tent that Maggie constructed for him for a long time. And that hot Georgia sun beating down probably feels killer.

Beth is on a mission of her own. We see her go into Dr. Edwards to ask for medical advice-how to save Carol. Can we trust him though? We’ve already seen what’s he’s capable of in order to survive, he killed a fellow doctor because he thought his expertise would be in competition with another’s, even if it could mean saving lives-having two legit doctors on the floor. But, no. Still, Beth’s willing to take her chances. Maybe she believes he wouldn’t lie to her twice. In a strawberry hand-off with another patient who will feign having a coughing attack in the hall by the drug locker, Beth gets the meds she needs to help Carol and goes to her aid. I’m literally holding my breath as Beth plunges that needle into Carol’s IV. Is she going to kill her? She squeezes Carol’s hand and tells her “It’s Beth.” Oh, brother-we can’t lose Carol now.

As if we should be shocked to see it, Fr. Gabriel is making a run for it. He’s used that machete he took from Carl to, not practice his skull-bashing skills on walkers, nor take Michonne’s sweet pep talk as a reason to chill the fuck out, but to rip up the floor boards in his office so that he can shimmy his way down under the foundation of the church and escape. Oh, this is going to end soooo badly, Gabe. The guy doesn’t know how to fend for himself, he’s weaponless, just got a nail stuck in his foot (after watching the gang booby trap the church like this bitch is about to be Kevin McCallister’s residence on Christmas Eve), and now he’s wandering through the cemetery like he’s in a predictable horror movie where his fate is foreshadowed by tombstones. This might be Fr. Gabriel’s final curtain call. Say your prayers.

Rick and the gang are almost ready to penetrate Grady Memorial. There’s a moment in this next scene that seems to take things full circle. The cop they have zip-tied is Sgt. Lamson, so says Rick, when he finishes up his talk with him about how to face Dawn and fetches him a water. Sgt. Lamson corrects him, “It’s Bob.” Sasha turns, stunned to hear that name again, like it’s her Bob. This episode has been an episode about reminding each other to snap out of it-and while Sasha is grieving and has every right to be devastated and lost, she needs to keep check of herself. When she accidentally rips Bob’s surplus jacket she’s wearing now, she flips out. I would, too. I would go ballistic. But look at Rick, look at Beth, at Daryl, Michonne, Abraham-characters who’ve crossed themselves twice over, who’ve explored the depths of their mental clarity for signs of strength, admissions of weakness, shame, sadness. What lines will they cross in order to remain alive? Is that the lynch pin of The Walking Dead? Crossing oneself in order to dance that fine line between killer and survivor-between bad and good?

When we get back to Maggie and Abraham, she’s trying to convince the guy to take a sip of water for the sixth time this afternoon. It looks so hot out there-even I feel thirsty now. She asks him if he wanted her to shoot him. Maggie may not know about Abraham’s past, but she “gets it.” You can see it in his eyes. To what side of himself has he come out on? As he reaches down for the water bottle, it’s like all the angels in the skies are singing and the clouds are parting-the human’s will to survive. With a gasp, we hear Eugene waking up. (Though, really, he sounds more like a walker than a person.) Maggie rushes over just as Glenn, Rosita and Tara are walking back from their Huck Finn adventure. We can see now what Tara was so giddy about: it’s a blue yo-yo. GIRL GOT HERSELF A YO-YO! She really is a lez.

Sasha wants to chat up Sgt. Bob Lamson. He tells her about how Dawn spared his life when they were trying to evacuate innocent civilians. She had taken him off and put a guy named Tyler on-Tyler being one of the walkers who isn’t a walker at all, he’s melted into the asphalt out there where Daryl got caught in between those funky looking halfers (a walker who can’t walk anymore and is now a part of the environment around them, according to me.) As New Bob leads Sasha into a room on the south side of the building where he claims she’ll get a good shot of Tyler, I’m a feeling wave of hesitation. There are a lot of good liars out there-is Tyler even real? Or is this all part of New Bob’s plan? As Sasha steadies her aim, she claims she sees him (it could be anyone, remember, New Bob was a cop, he can remember the scene out there like the back of his hand) and that’s when New Bob slams her head against the glass pane. Sasha’s down for the count, and New Bob takes off running.

Ya’ll just got crossed. I want to listen to “Crossroads” by Bone Thugs ‘n Harmony now, right?

YOU GUYS. Follow me on Twitter @the_hoff because next Sunday, I’ll be LIVE-TWEETING the midseason finale. Tweet me all your feelings.

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