“South of Nowhere” Recap: Episode 3.11 “A Very Inconvenient Truth”

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Goodbye to you — The girls are saying goodnight, and the

sarcasm is dripping all over Paula’s shiny hardwood floors.

Jonica: It was so nice to meet you, Ashley.

Ashley:
It was nice to meet you too, Fred.

Spencer:
Give Lily a hug for me.

She hugs Jonica, who glares at Ashley over Spencer’s

perfectly tanned shoulder.

Then Jonica leaves, but not soon enough for my taste.

Ashley: Wow.

Spencer:
Oh come on, you kinda liked her.

Ashley:
Not as much as she liked you.

Spencer:
Ash—

Ashley:
Look, she had a crush on you. It’s blatant. I should

have had Aiden keep an eye on you while I was in New York.

Spencer:
Well who kept an eye on you?

Spying. It’s the foundation of any healthy relationship.

Spencer: Wait, are we fighting?

Ashley:
No, come here.

They kiss and make up, literally, and are immediately

interrupted by a text from Kyla, who tells Ashley she’s holding a press

conference.

Seriously? Who’s going to watch? And what network would be dumb enough to air a press

conference by an unknown like Ashley Davies?

Oops, I did it again — Kyla is sweating buckets under the

scrutiny of a gaggle of journalists at her press conference.  She should just relax. If the questions get

too tough, she can always do some fancy

pageant walking.

She tells the world, “I tried to fool everybody, including

my sister, Ashley, who knew nothing of my deception.  It was all my doing, I’m responsible for

everything.”

Kyla apologizes to everyone, including Ashley, the memory of

their father, and all of her “friends on the web.”

Lights out — Arthur is just about to snuggle up to Aiden in

the tent when Glen, off to “take a pee,” trips over one of the stakes and pulls

the whole tent down around them.

Arthur and Aiden howl “Glen!” in unison, and that’s it for

our favorite f-up. He flips. He declares his hatred for camping, fishing, and

“stinking tents.”  Then it gets really

juicy.  He tells Arthur, “You don’t even

want me here. You don’t relate to me, you don’t even want me as a son. Just

adopt Aiden!”

Aiden looks concerned, but he’s really just trying to figure

out how he’s going to fit his Bowflex®

into Glen’s room.

Sweet forgiveness — Back at their swanky pad, Ashley and

Kyla have a tearful reunion. Kyla apologizes again for the whole mess, and

Ashley embraces her.

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