“South of Nowhere” Recap: Episode 3.10 “Spencer’s 18th Birthday”

on

Twenty questions

Back at the Carlin abode, Paula is prepping Spencer’s room

for The Seed, fluffing the pillows and spraying Lez-B-Gone©

all over the sheets.

The Seed wants to know where

Spencer will be sleeping, and gasps audibly when she learns its Clay’s

room. What the hell? Does she think it’s haunted?

The Seed insists on sleeping

on the couch as she gazes at a picture of Clay.

The Seed: Such a

sweet boy. He was like a grandson to me.

Paula:
Mom, he

was
your grandson.

As Bette Porter would say,

“Monster!”

Spencer enters the room just

as The Seed is getting warmed up.

The Seed: (looking

at photos) Who is this girl in so many pictures?

Paula:
That’s

Ashley.

Spencer:
That’s

my friend who I borrowed the car from, the one who’s in New York.

The Seed:
(diabolically)

Aahhh.

She picks up a family photo

clearly taken at gay pride, with everyone waving their rainbow flags.

The only thing that could make this picture any gayer would be Mr. Slave as he’s

out-whoring Paris Hilton
.

The Seed: Where

was this picture taken?

Spencer:
I’m glad

you asked —

Paula:
At a picnic,

in West Hollywood.

The Seed:
(suspiciously)

That’s nice…

Flame (of

Hell) broiled


As they carry plates of food out to the backyard like good women should,

Spencer asks Paula why she stopped her from coming out to The Seed.

Paula claims that she doesn’t want Spencer getting hurt. I think she

means hurt emotionally, not ripped limb from limb by her scary meemaw.

The Seed comes out in time

to see Aiden manning the barbeque grill. What is he doing here? Did

he ever go home after the last time he and Arthur bonded?

The Seed likes what she sees,

and she starts thinking about keeping the family line going (and sexy!).

She basically asks (but in

formal meemaw talk) “Who’s the

stud behind the grill
?”

and flirtatiously asks him to fry up a burger for her. Aiden smiles

and nods obliviously. It’s what he does.

Spencer hustles some grub over

to Aiden, who eagerly asks about her and Ashley.

Aiden: I

hear you and Ash are back on.

Spencer:


Um…yeah. I’m sorry …

Aiden:
No,

that’s great. I think that’s how it’s supposed to be.

Duh!

A New York state of mind

Having flown to New York, ostensibly in first class, Kyla and

Ashley arrive at the green room for their appearance on TLR (get it?). Ever the savant, Ashley protests,

“It’s not even green!”

Skeevy Ethan blasts into the

room to fawn over Ashley and pay nominal attention to Kyla, which is

fine because she should only have to worry about one jerk at a time.

Ethan asks them if they’re

“ready to rock” and offers to check out the sound equipment, but

Jake, without any subtlety, deters him. Hmmm, I wonder why?

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