“Weeds” mini-cap: one woman’s trash is another woman’s treasure


Nancy, Nancy, Nancy! Goodness that woman loves a thrill. That crater size hole in the maternity store floor was just too big, too long and too tempting to pretend it wasn’t there. So she climbed down, just like Alice in Wonderland, and walked the length of it to its end. But you know they say that curiosity killed the cat (or maybe it just spanked the cat).

This episode, “Excellent Treasures,” had plenty of them sprinkled through out. There was Bubbie’s dreck, I mean Bubbie’s excellent treasures, that Shane was selling off at her estate sale. He earned over eight grand selling knick-knacks and tables and picture frames and, and, uh, other junk that accumulated over Bubbie’s lifetime. See, it’s possible to make money without selling illegal contraband. You just have to play a role in killing your great-grandmother then sell her stuff. Simple.

Another treasure was the mother of Rad, the little neighborhood boy that’s been pestering the Botwins since their arrival. I haven’t really mentioned him before because, well, who cares! Well, now I do because his mother has a grown girl crush on young Silas.

Moving to Ren Mar has been a boon for Silas. He now has customers for his killer product (so what if it’s only the guys that tow cars), and he now has a MILF to call his own to go along with his killer MILF weed. (Yes, he’s growing MILF weed, ya’ll.) Isn’t his stuff a strain of the famous MILF weed product that Conrad developed when he was working exclusively with Nancy?

Isabelle is coming to live with Celia in Ren Mar. Finally! Isabelle is so over her father. Dean is moving to a large city that has lots of crime so that he can get a job as a public defender. Not only does Isabelle not want to move to Detroit but also clingy, needy men and lesbians regardless of age and family ties simply do not mix and Isabelle wants out. Yay! Agrestic is moving to Ren Mar one character at a time.

Speaking of Agrestic, Doug discovered a treasure in this episode, too. His discovery was in an unusual way and at an unusual time, but life’s great discoveries are often accidental. He and Andy were sitting at the beach, ogling girls and Andy pitches the idea that maybe he and Doug should go into the human trafficking business.

Andy was inspired by the brutality of the coyote he encounter on his field trip day as an illegal immigrant. The experience made Andy realize that human beings, even those being trafficked across international borders to be economically exploited once they are here, need respect and dignity as well as bottled water and better travel accommodations and he’s just the guy to do it! Doug was open to the idea generally but did mention that he wasn’t all that fond of Mexicans.

Later, as Doug and Andy continued their day at the beach because they are both jobless and pretty much good for nothings, they witness a lovely lass emerge from the surf fully clothed. As they watch in astonishment at her beauty and her choice of a bathing suit more people began emerging from the surf fully clothed and some even had suitcases!

Almost immediately the police (or was that border patrol) on ATVs began rounding up the new arrivals. The woman ran to Doug for help. She begged, she pleaded. Doug was mesmerized by her beauty and said that she appeared as a mermaid from the sea. Actually he called her a MerMex from the sea and that he would do what he could to help her. This was Andy’s opening to reintroduce the need for quality coyote-ing and having witness the round up Doug was firmly on board. Wait until Dumb and Dumber Coyote service becomes aware of the hole to Mexico in Nancy’s maternity store floor. They will find out, won’t they?

OK, back to Nancy and her possible spanking punishment. So she walks down the tunnel to where it ends, straight into the bathroom of that familiar body shop in Mexico. She then opens the bathroom door and stares at the group of men gathered doing manly things like smoking cigars and laughing really loud. The obvious head honcho dude takes notice of her. Whoa, talk about awkward.

The main guy from the body shop that actually knows Nancy rushes towards her to keep her out of the grips of real henchmen and begins to forcibly escort her back through the tunnel. He keeps telling her to forget what she saw but she heard “Hey, keep snooping around because it makes for good drama!”

The next day when Nancy and Celia arrive at work they walk into the office and there is an armed guard seated by the hole. Celia immediately gets worried. Nancy hurries her friend out of the room and shuts the door and as a means of calming Celia’s nerves Nancy backs her up against a wall and gently places her hand below Celia’s neck and assures her that all is well. I guess I should mention that this too was an excellent treasure of lesbian subtext.

Later that day Guillermo oversees gobs of drugs being placed in maternity store shopping bags and loaded up out the back door. Then he gets all cryptic and foreboding on Nancy and tells her that she really put the screws to his credibility and what ever happens to him will happen to her. Gasp!

Nancy is grabbed off the street in front of her house during the estate sale by two men and driven with a black hood on and in a car trunk. We next see her as she anxiously sits in front of Guillermo’s man above. No, not that man above but the suave looking, very finely dressed, Mexican man she saw in the auto body shop.

He is very annoyed by her stunt and by her snooping about and asking questions. He knows her name and gives a little bio of her, just to let her know that he knows how to snoop as well. Nancy actually looks scared! He says that she must be punished and suggests a good hard spanking. The auto body shop guy knocks and interrupts. He says there is an important matter to deal with. This guy literally saves Nancy’s ass!

So, Nancy is allowed to use the secret passageway this one occasion only and is told to never use it again. When she’s dropped off at the body shop she sees a poster of the Man Above who wanted to spank her. Yep, he’s the mayor.

Anyone surprised? Or was that reveal a little anti-climatic? I assumed that he was a public figure. I’m disappointed that he’s a political figure though because that doesn’t seem all that shocking. I’m waiting to see how direct Nancy gets with him and if Doug and Andy run their business through Nancy’s shop as well. The stories have me hooked in.

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