“Weeds” mini-cap: keeping cool in the desert


Last week I wondered why we had to meet Bubbie at all given her short stay and lack of audible lines, but this week I learned that we met her so that Nancy could kill her so that Lenny could extort money from Nancy putting Nancy in even more dramatic jeopardy. Cool, now we are getting somewhere!

The first three weeks made me feel like I was under the influence of Silas’ killer product because the story arc seemed to be moving sooo verrry slooowly. But this week’s episode, “The Three Coolers,” towed the stories into another gear much like the truck that towed Andy’s van (with Silas’s killer product growing inside) for parking without a permit in front of Bubbie’s house. I mean, Lenny’s house. (RIP Bubbie.)

So, the Botwins, ever the classy bunch, observed seven days of shiva in remembrance of Bubbie. Nancy and the kids spent more time sitting honoring Bubbie’s timely death by Tempur-Pedic pillow than they have collectively spent in Bubbie’s presence over their life times.

Lenny, with no signs of proof to the other Botwins or the viewing audience, stakes claim as the sole beneficiary of Bubbie’s belongings. It seems the only good Bubbie is a dead Bubbie.

Upon learning of the death — good news travels fast in the real estate business — several real estate agents come by to offer their respects and business cards. One actually sits shiva hoping to get the upper hand on repping the property. But a man’s upper hand is not what Lenny is interested in, and Lenny chooses an exceptionally endowed blonde female agent (not because blondes have more fun but because exceptionally endowed ones have better assets to negotiate closing costs.)

Also during shiva, Doug from Majestic accepts Andy’s invitation to move in. Turns out that Doug’s running from the Majestic city council, a group whose finances he pretty much bitch slapped all the way into another zip code.

Seeing Doug more regularly will make me happy. When I see Doug I just start giggling. (I know, kill me.) Now, just get me Conrad, Heylia and more Isabelle and I’m good!

Anyway, after shiva ends with an actual count down like it’s New Years Eve (the Botwin’s sincerity just charms, doesn’t it?) Lenny hops up and announces that he’s selling the house and that Nancy and her un-invitedness needs to figure out whose home, motel or homeless shelter she can invite herself next. Lenny wants a couple of million for the house but the housing market is in shambles. Hmm, what to do?

Nancy leaves to meet with Guillermo and is presented with the choice of opening two coolers. (Why the episode is called three coolers has been lost on me. Help!) Nancy chooses and learns that she has to go and wait in the desert to be contacted by someone smuggling in product from Mexico. Included in the cooler were a gun, a juice box and the mapped location. She checks the other cooler and it was the same thing except for the juice box. That Guillermo is so knee-slapping funny, no?

Back at the Casa de Murder, Lenny enlists Shane to help him look into all of Bubbie’s things in search of the hidden-in-the-home savings account in which many elderly people deposit their cash around their own houses rather than the bank. Shane strikes pay dirt high atop a shelf. Fifteen grand in cash! Woot!

Lenny’s thrilled but Shane becomes suspicious as to how Bubbie climbed all the way up the side of a cabinet to hide money and why some of the bills had 2007 print dates since Bubbie has been bedridden since 2006.

Outside of Bubbie’s house Andy, Doug and Silas hang out in Andy’s make shift grow van that Silas set up to cultivate his passion. Doug and Andy get higher than the Himalayas (what else is new?) They are amazed by what they’re smoking. Seems like Silas has a future in botany. Who says college is a must for the sciences?

Nancy swings by the grow van and gets Andy to agree to drive with her on her mission in the desert. It sucks when your only choice for back up is Andy Botwin.

Lenny grills Shane trying to find out what illegal activity Nancy is involved in. He assumes she’s a prostitute. That silly Lenny — tricks are for kids! After watching Doug drift in and out of the refrigerator several times looking for munchies Lenny clues in as to what Nancy’s business commodity is. Lenny is amused.

Out in the desert at the Mexican border Nancy and Andy wait for whoever is dropping off the goods. The Mexican police light up her car and Nancy climbs into Andy’s lap and begins to totally make out with him so the police think they’re there to, well, make out. (Do grown people still drive to secluded places to make out?)

Of course, the Mexican police leave a slew of duffel bags full of pot next to Nancy’s little Prius. She manages to shove it all in the car but has no room to take Andy back with her. She tells him to wait and that she’ll be back to get him.

In Ren Mar, Andy’s van gets towed and Silas goes to pick it up from impound. The tow yard guys discovered what was in the back of the van and compliment Silas on his miracle product and asked for a few ounces in exchange for not telling the police that they have towed the van. So where is Silas’ green thumb going to take the story, hmm?

Andy waits in the desert for longer than Nancy’s 45 minute promise then he sees a group of illegal immigrants walk past him on their way to meet up with a coyote to take them to Iowa. Andy leaves with them, leaving the cooler behind. This can’t be good.

Since Lenny can’t get the price he wants for the beach property he packs his things to head to Europe and tells Shane that he’s taking the $15,000 and demands that Nancy deposit $10,000 on the first of the month each month into one of his poker playing accounts. Bye Lenny, can’t say it’s been nice but it has at times been funny.

Finally, Nancy arrives at Guillermo’s and as she collects her payment for the delivery, some gang members stumble through the door dragging Celia inside with their guns drawn on her. They found her staking out the place. Nancy stares at Celia speechless. Alleluia! At last, Nancy and Celia together again. Thank the TV goddesses!

Celia is so in love with Nancy, or am I making that up? Is Lenny really the beneficiary of everything or could it be Andy? Can Nancy get out of the work with Guillermo and go back to supplying her own product through Silas? Will Celia end up being friend or foe? I’m hoping friend, but foe is more fun.

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