“Work Out” Recaps: Episode 3.5 “No Pain, No Gain”

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As Jackie announces she’s

been working on this new product for a while and “finally got it

right,” like she’s some kind of lesbian Willy Wonka, Jesse can’t help but

laugh.

Jesse: I love Jackie and I wish her the

best with all of her business ventures. But if I have to hear about one more

amazing Jackie Warner product, I’ll jump off the cliffs into the ocean.

See you at the bottom.

The bars seem to be a

hit, but when you’ve been running and jumping all day, and then are given

nothing to eat except greens and squares of salmon the size of playing cards, even

wet cardboard tastes good.

Agostina’s turn — Energized on Ego! bars and a feeling of

accomplishment, the gang goes outside to be led by Agostina in a boxing-yoga

boot camp, which makes more sense than it sounds. Thirty minutes of boxing,

then 30 minutes of yoga, to meditate on your violent tendencies.

You do not want to mess with Tyra.

Jackie watches from afar

and wishes she had 50 Agostinas. There are several women out there who would

settle for just one.

Therapy — No retreat would be complete without group therapy that

ends in either tears or a rageful fit. If we’re lucky, this year’s session will

give us both. Jackie assembles everyone in a room with an eating disorder

therapist. Let the blame-placing begin.

Paisley

starts off by admitting her childhood was tense and she escaped by eating.

Damon was called a fat kid in school, and it’s stuck with him ever since. Shannon has a baby with brain damage and copes by

overeating. Her story brings the room to tears.

When it’s Deenie’s turn,

she tells the group how she moved back to Mississippi to care for her mother until she

passed away. After that, she decided she could do whatever she wanted to.

Deenie: My two issues are instant gratification

and entitlement, ya know? Hell, ya know, I was in my 20s when my mom died. If I

want ice cream, I can have it. Have a cigarette [or] don’t. Oh, cigarette’s

going to be really good. I don’t care if it takes seven minutes off my life. That’s

in 80 years.

Try 30.

Jackie: You’re rewarding with

short-term rewards.

Deenie: And that’s how I do

everything. That’s what’s hard for me to switch.

Damon: I don’t believe that. I don’t

believe that.

Who asked you, Chuckles?

The therapist cuts Damon

off before a fight starts. But before she can get control of the conversation, Micah

jumps in and lisps through his braces, “Thee was just about to thay a lot

of thuff, and I would like to hear it,” and gives Deenie a sarcastic look.

Deenie’s look is even better.

Yeah, Deenie, thay it.

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