“Work Out” Recaps: Episode 3.5 “No Pain, No Gain”

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Jackie and Lisa show up

and announce there’s going to be a pool boot camp now. Plitt is put in charge

of this one, and he sets up different workout stations around the pool for circuit-style

training.

A former military man,

Greg says he’s used to working with men who are in peak shape and not so much

in danger of drowning. That said, everyone does great and has a good time,

because everything’s more fun in a pool.

Even Deenie has a good

time and celebrates with a smoky treat.

Cook as I cook, not as I eat — Later that day, big Chef Evan shows

the class how to cook healthy, low-fat meals as culinary school graduate, Jesse,

sits in the back of the room looking mildly amused.

Learning to live and eat

in the real world is part of SkyLab’s new, expanded program. Chef Evan reminds

those addicted to butter and oil that water is a good substitute for cooking

veggies.

Unfortunately, veggies

are not a good substitute for pizza — believe me, I’ve tried. The pepperoni

kept falling off my carrot.

After the cooking lesson

is over, the group enjoys a lunch, courtesy of Chef Evan. While they eat, Damon

and Micah judge Deenie to be something of a loser.

Damon: I just can’t believe the

smoking. She’s pulling down the cigarettes, like, right after a … “Ooh, I

just had a long jog, I need to …”

Micah: It’s rebellion. And it’s,

like, so who are you rebelling against, really? Yourself. And what’s the point?

I don’t want to do any of [the workouts] either.

Damon: Yeah. No.

Micah: Still gotta do it. Just do

it.

Neither men have anywhere

near as much weight to lose, nor do they hail from Deenie’s home state of Mississippi, the obesity

capital of the nation, where 250-pound teenagers are more common than

left-handed ones. It’s easy to say “just do it” when it ain’t you. How

are those six-pack abs coming along, Micah?

Branding is the name of the game — One thing no one can have enough

of is Jackie Warner, especially if you’re her. After lunch, everyone remains

seated so Jackie can debut her new — drum roll please — performance bar. One is

peanut butter-flavored, for her nutty side; the other is fruit-flavored, for

her, well, you get the idea.

For once, Rebecca gnaws

on something belonging to Jackie that’s not actually attached to Jackie.

The prototype labels read

“Sugar is the Devil.” Catchy name. Not. How about Sky Sports Bars, or

Jackie Warner’s Fruity-Nutty’s, or just plain Ego!

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