“Work Out” Recaps: Episode 3.5 “No Pain, No Gain”

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Life goes on — Sky Sport owner, professional fitness trainer to Hollywood’s finest, and

star of Bravo’s hit series Work Out, Jackie Warner made an executive

decision last week. After protracted and thoughtful deliberation, she fired

Brian Peeler. Heavy is the head that wears the crown.

Jackie: I really don’t care where Brian

ends up. The pain in the ass that he just is — that is Brian Peeler on an

ongoing basis — is not worth having. I think I handled it completely

professionally. I feel that I did the right thing.

What was the completely

professional part of “Get the f—

out” again? I forget.

Brian’s departure has

left his SkyLab client, Shannon, without a trainer, so Jackie assures her that

several Sky Sport trainers have volunteered to make her throw up. No matter

what happens, someone will be there to hold her hair back.

Shannon, who cares

nothing about internal malarkey — “interlarkey” if you will — just

wants to know where she stands now.

Shannon: Just so you know, from a client

standpoint, I felt that he was giving me a hundred percent.

Jackie: Yeah, yeah.

Shannon: And I was seeing results.

Jackie: Yeah, sure. It’s not his

training skills. That’s not the issue.

Shannon: Brian called me and he told me,

“I can’t come back into Sky Sport anymore, but I can still train you

outside.” And I said, “Outside where?” “Outside in the

park,” he said.

Well, he did say

“outside.” I like to jump in front of the old people doing tai chi in

the park and start barking orders at them to go faster.

Jack Daddy assures Shannon that as the boss, she had “darn good

reason” for banning Brian from the building and trots off to start the

day.

Go pound sand — Jackie gathers all the SkyLabbers into one

shivering mass on a cold beach under an overcast sky. Using the sand for added

resistance, she yells, “Run!” and everyone takes off until their

calves are screaming for mercy. Everyone except Deenie, that is, who gingerly

walks around, claiming she’s trying. Trying to stay near the cameras, perhaps.

Deenie’s bruised ankle prevents

her from being able to hop, skip and jump, but it’s her crappy attitude that’s

making Jackie nuts. “Her injury is her excuse for everything,” Jackie

claims. Yeah, what’s your excuse?

After putting the class

through their paces — push-ups, jumping jacks, hula-hoop stepping — every

single client is in cardio distress. Jackie makes the professional assessment,

“Damn, they can’t do s—.” Good thing she went to school to learn

this stuff.

Next, everyone gets into

a wet suit, which I can tell you firsthand is a major workout in itself. Deenie

jokes that she feels like Catwoman.

Mmm, yeah. No. I didn’t

feel like Catwoman in a wet suit. I felt like a little sausage in a casing made

by Michelin. Totally hawt.

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