This week on “Gossip Girl”: Jenny stages a coup, sort of


Gossip Girl, welcome back! This week’s episode, "The Blair Bitch Project," was fun. Watching how Blair got back on that proverbial horse that had thrown her smug, conceited but oh-so-vulnerable ass to the turf was masterful. But wait — is that Jenny Humphrey wearing a princess tiara? Is it stolen? Heh.

All photos by Giovanni Rufino/THE CW

The episode picks up three weeks after Serena convinced Blair to stay in New York to fight for her reputation and status as queen bee. I’m glad Blair decided to stay, because we got to see the fight! Oh, and we got to see Serena and Blair be all cute and cuddly together.

The battle is clearly shaping up to be between Blair and Jenny Humphrey. I know, Jenny Humphrey, right? That can’t even be a fair fight, but, uh yeah, turns out it is.

Jenny connives Blair into thinking that Blair’s going to have dinner with the old gang, but the old gang stands Blair up way bad. But rather than cry in shame, Blair concocts a plan to ruin Jenny’s birthday (which is the next day), and it turns out Jenny actually aids and abets in her own birthday of maximum suckage by being caught in a Valentino dress she stole from one of the gang’s mother’s closet. Ah, icing on an already dried-out, stale birthday cake.

With Jenny now exposed as the thieving, lying poser of the Upper East Side, Blair invites the old gang to the restaurant where she was stood up just the night before. They all showed up, of course. I was so annoyed!

No, I wasn’t annoyed that the sheep showed up — I was annoyed that Blair won so easily. There’s no fun in that. No intrigue. She was right back on top of the heap. Not even a full episode of chagrin? Come on!

Now before you think I’m hating on Blair, I have a confession. I fell in love with Blair through all this chaos. She was absolutely sublime. Her plan for the embarrassment of Jenny worked to perfection, and there was an added bonus: Due to Jenny’s inferiority complex, Jenny felt the need to steal things twice — and then got caught in front of everyone.

But the fight was over too quickly. I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the less than predictable writing, and all of a sudden the show springs predictability on me. I almost threw a tantrum! But as they say, it ain’t over till it’s over.

Jenny snuck out of her house and convinced Nate to go with her to the restaurant, where she introduced Nate to one of the sheep who has crushed on Nate forever. Instantly forgiven.

Blair, then, was the one in horror, learning that Jenny has a connection with Nate and that he went there to meet another girl — just to show Blair up! Touché, Jenny.

Like a phoenix, Jenny rose through the ashes of red-faced shame with a wink at Blair. Yay! It wasn’t predictable after all!

As for Serena (I can’t possibly blog about this show without mentioning Serena), someone began sending sex toys, drugs and alcohol to Serena’s home and school.

I was so hoping the sex toys were from Blair, but Blair was too busy planning Jenny’s birthday party to get to the post office. Serena, understandably, assumed it was Chuck. Doing such outlandish, sexually suggestive or outright illegal things as sending cocaine through the U.S. mail is sort of like playing Xbox or Wii for Chuck. Even Chuck’s father assumed it was Chuck and booted him from their home.

Chuck was actually enjoying the thought of being part of a real family. He seemed to be genuinely relishing the idea of having a little brother, and even at having Serena as a sister. I actually felt something that masqueraded as sympathy for Chuck.

Wait — who is writing this blog post? Did I just say I felt bad for Chuck? What? But seriously — poor Chuck. Oh well, karma sucks when you sort of suck. And Chuck sort of sucks.

It turns out that the inappropriate items were being sent by someone who signed her final card "G." In the previews for next week, we see that G stands for Georgina, the character played by Michelle Trachtenberg who arrives next week. I can’t wait!

I have no idea who the character is, but Serena’s lovely face was flushed with fear and concern after reading that card. Serena’s life has been cruising along so smoothly for a while now, so something had to give. Georgina seems to know how to give it. I can already tell that I’m going to love to hate Georgina.

So what did you think of this week’s episode?

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