“Work Out” Recaps: Episode 3.2 “SkyLab 2.0”

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Rebecca gives everyone a dramatic

“oops,” Erika takes the news in stride, and Agostina contemplates

what a chopstick would look like sticking out of Rebecca’s neck.

Meanwhile, Jackie sits

there looking utterly mortified. Better late than never, killer. Agostina

regains her composure and shrugs. She nonchalantly theorizes that Jackie kisses

everyone, “Maybe because she’s the boss?” A native of Argentina,

Agostina has little trouble understanding how this particular American operates.

Jackie explains: “This

is Los Angeles.

Every girl in Los Angeles

is as straight as the next cocktail.” That’s not really true, of course. They’re

straight until the next reality show.

Erika, who’s worked at

Sky Sport long enough to know, says: “It should be on the Sky Sport

application. If there’s a new female trainer that gets hired, you have to kiss

Jackie once.” Sky Sport’s version of a drug test, if you will. There’s no

peeing in a cup, but you do have to let Jackie swab your cheek. With her

tongue.

A new hire — Back at the office, Jesse notices a fine specimen of a

manly maleness doing pull-downs. His name is J.D., and he’s the new masseur.

Jesse wonders what J.D.

stands for. Judas? Jimmy Dean? As in sausages? The very thought gets Jesse in

the mood for breakfast meats, which is just what Jackie, the s— stirrer,

hoped would happen.

Jackie: He’s cute, though. I can

totally see you guys dating.

Jesse: No! I got my … first of all …

Jackie: I know. You have your man.

Jackie, evil puppet

master that she is, reveals: “J.D. is good-looking. He’s in shape. And he’s

gay and he’s sweet! So I thought it’d be very funny if I could push those two

together.”

Before the infidelity high

jinks can begin, Jackie has J.D. give her a massage. But only because she has

no interest in making out with him.

J.D. lights some candles

and goes to work. As he kneads her like an Amish bread maker, Jackie explains that

providing massages to the SkyLab clients is crucial.

Jackie: Do you know some of these women

have issues with touch? Do you know what I mean? And they’ve not been touched

in quite a while, and human contact is so important.

Just when I think Jackie

is merely a maniacal horn dog, she says something insightful and true. Damn

her.

You’re going where, with whom? — Jackie and Briana are at home the

night before Jackie has to leave for the Olivia cruise. Briana asks for some

details from Captain Vague.

Jackie: I’m leaving tomorrow. I gotta

pack tonight.

Briana:
How long is it for?

Jackie: For a week.

Briana: A week? Why a week? Are you

going to training, or what are you … ?

Jackie: I’m going to do a boot camp

[heavy sigh], whatever. You know, sign photos … you know how all that goes.

Briana: I don’t understand a week.

Well, it is a cruise. Is she supposed to jump

overboard and swim home early?

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