The rest of the SkyLab
gang, Micah and Victoria, don’t have the massive weight problems the others do.
Dr. Huizenga tells Jackie she even has a shot with Micah of getting him some six-pack
He then says that Victoria has a medical
condition in her lady parts because obesity also affects the body’s hormones. But
with weight loss, many of these conditions resolve themselves.
“You’re going to
become a gynecological endocrinologist,” he says. Jackie immediately snickers,
thinking to herself, “You said ‘gynecological'” like the 10 year-old
boy she is.
As a longtime amateur gynecologist,
Jackie is well-qualified for this new position.
Lesbians ahoy — Taking all the information she’s gleaned from
interviews, medical records, sonograms and weigh-ins, Jackie plays a game with
herself, matching SkyLab clients with her trainers.
The Grand Master moves
her pawns around until she’s satisfied she has a winning strategy. It’s
important that each client gets paired with the right trainer, but holding
people’s lives in her hands, if only for a few weeks, is also a delicious
The next day, Jackie
takes all the female trainers out for sushi. Jackie sure does love sushi.
Over lunch, to the
surprise and delight of the table (and to the dismay of Mexicans from
here to Mazatlan), Jackie invites the girls to join her on a
cruise to Mexico.
Jackie covers her mouth with her hand while emitting an oddly girlish
and mentions that it’s an Olivia cruise. The others continue to smile
innocently, but Rebecca suddenly smells what Jackie’s stepping in.
Rebecca: Olivia Cruises? Is that …
Jackie: [to Rebecca] You know what
Rebecca: [to the table] It’s a
Jackie: It’s a lesbian cruise.
Rebecca: I love lesbians!
You know, there was
something nostalgic and intimate about Jackie’s “You know what that is”
to Rebecca. Rebecca clearly received the immersion course in Lesbian 101 when she
hooked up with Jackie last season. I bet Rebecca now knows a bunch of useless
facts about The L Word.
But the thrill is
definitely gone as far as Jackie’s concerned, because she says she hopes some
big ol’ dykes hook up with Rebecca. Wait — are they all going to prison?
However, that’s not going
to happen. You’re the only big ol’ dyke in her world, Jackie.
When asked, Agostina says
confidently that she has no problem going on a lesbian cruise — many of her
clients are lesbians. Agostina isn’t very excitable and mostly hangs back and
watches the others with sanguine detachment.
Then Rebecca drops a
bomb. Looking at Jackie and Agostina, she blurts out, “Well, y’all made
out, so you’re sort of on our team.”
And by “our team,”
she means Sky Sport employees who’ve known Jackie’s minty fresh breath up close
and personal. The list grows longer with each passing day. Is she physically
incapable of keeping her lips to herself?