“Work Out” Recaps: Episode 3.1 “Hard Body … Thin Skin”

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Your gym membership has been renewed — If you think working out is

exhausting, try being Jackie Warner. When she’s not up to her abs in

self-inflicted lesbian drama, designing her own line of gym wear, or playing “Who’s

got the biggest balls?” with men who challenge her, she’s fending off

crushes from housewives

from St. Louis

and finding ways to work the word “ho-bag”

into an otherwise earnest interview with AfterEllen.com.

Before we jump into

Season 3, let’s warm up with a review of the main story lines from last season.

Jackie was simultaneously

dating a woman named Tiffany and fooling around with Rebecca, her fun-loving, (previously)

straight employee.

Tiffany has faded into

reality show obscurity, but Rebecca remains a trainer at Sky Sport & Spa,

where she pines for that old Jackie magic while being paid to make rich people

grunt like plow horses.

Former favorite pet Jesse

couldn’t compete with Rebecca’s breasts and lost Jackie’s attention. Unhappy

about it, he went 10 rounds with his nemesis; words were exchanged, scenes were

made, water was thrown. A straight girl and a gay man fighting for her

attention — you have to admit, Jackie has charisma.

Not all her time was

spent at the gym. Jackie went home to Ohio,

where she and her mom resolved some mother-celesbian issues that have plagued

them for years.

While visiting her old

high school, Jackie is shocked to learn she wasn’t the star pupil she thought

she was. Apparently, you can go home

again; you just shouldn’t.

Her intensive training

retreat, SkyLab, was launched, inspiring Jackie to design a line of “so

cute” gym clothes for it. After a harrowing experience with a clueless

manufacturer, Jackie found a way to make her dreams into awesome poly-cotton

blends.

Beloved trainer Doug

Blasdell passed away unexpectedly, jarring the bitchy, whining trainers back to

reality.

Brian saw Doug as the gay

brother he never knew he wanted, and took his death especially hard. Suddenly, ego-sparring

with Jackie didn’t seem so important. In death, as in life, Doug brought some

temporary perspective to the circus.

Erika and the other

trainers mostly watched the train wreck from the sidelines and tried to stay

out of the line of fire.

Read more about Seasons 1 and 2 if you choose. Otherwise,

come with me to the gym. I hate going alone.

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