“The L Word” Recaps: Episode 5.12 “Loyal and True”

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The poolside cabana of possibilities — Bette and Tina are talking about their days and their futures. Bette has the big Hammer event and Tina has the big wrap party: so many opportunities to see and be seen, when all they really want to do is cuddle in the cabana.

Tina ruminates about the ending of Lez Girls; specifically, the fact that Jesse thinks she’s never going to love again. Bette says that’s a natural reaction to being left by your first love.

Tina: Yeah, you were my first. And I thought I would die.

Bette: I never left you.

Tina: Yes, you did. But then you came back.

The camera goes behind the gauzy canopy thing. That’s annoying, and again heavy-handed: Their love is filmy, gossamer, ethereal, ephemeral. I think Bette’s black tank top begs to differ, because it seems serious and sturdy.

Tina says the ending of Lez Girls is actually very happy.

Tina: Jenny … oh, my God, who would have thought? But she pulled it together, and she wrote this amazing ending. It’s such a positive message for young, gay women. It’s great.

Despite that, Tina doesn’t mind that she’s been banned from the set, because it’s not important.

Bette: What’s important?

Tina: You. Us.

Yes, and kissing. Kissing and making out are definitely important.

Bette: So, do you think Angie should have a baby sister or a baby brother?

Whaaaaaaaaaaaat? Uh, way to get ahead of yourself, Bette. Simmah! How about some nice, ordinary, uneventful daily life for a change? Do you even remember what that’s like?

Tina says, “What?” and the scene ends. Pardon me while I make a reservation at a conversation-free, child-free cabana. I have the vapors and need to lie down.

Alice’s apartment — Alice is happy and fine, fine! Why do you ask?!

But Tasha isn’t asking anyway. She has news of her own: She has signed up for the police academy, and she’s thrilled about it. But Alice, who has never been a fan of cops, can’t even pretend to be excited.

Tasha: They’re really pro-gay. They even have domestic partner benefits.

Ouch.

Tasha: [seeing Alice’s hesitation] Is this OK?

Alice says yes, of course, but she doesn’t mean it at all. Tasha, I’ll take you out to celebrate. No, you don’t need to change or anything; you’re fine just the way you are.

Peccadillo palace — Helena finds Cindi at Shebar.

Helena: I have a proposition. And I think it might be of interest.

Cindi: Well, Dawn’s not here right now, so …

Helena: No, it’s a proposition for you.

What an unholy, wholly satisfying alliance.

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