“The L Word” Recaps: Episode 5.12 “Loyal and True”

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Sunday in the Park With Tasha — Tasha is lying on the grass, staring up at the blue sky and the palm trees, when Alice comes into view. No, Alice: Don’t block Tasha’s blue sky!

Sheesh. Subtle.

The Planet of broken dreams — Kit wants to know whether Helena and Dusty have room for one more in Tahaa. Hey, yeah, and take Max with you so we can get started on that spin-off!

But Helena doesn’t find Tahaa all that enchanting.

Helen: Dusty’s great, but … I kind of miss this place. I miss all of you.

Kit: We’ve missed you so much. You have no idea.

I do have some idea, actually. But Rachel Shelley, I don’t know if you should go back to your old job. That usually doesn’t turn out well. Just ask Eden Riegel.

Never mind all that; let’s talk about Dawn Denbo and her lover Cindi.

Helena: I don’t understand. Where did these women come from?

Kit: From Hell. Via Miami Beach.

Yeah! Pam Grier got a good line for once!

One of those demonic — Denbonic? — ladies happens to stop by, right on cue. You know Kit wants to say, “Speak of the Devil.”

Cindi: [behind Kit] I just wanted to say that I’m sorry.

Kit: [not turning around] You … want to say you’re sorry? You?

Cindi: I know, I know. It doesn’t make a difference. But I hate what she’s doing. OK? I do. I would’ve tried to stop her, but she’s … she’s crazy.

Gosh. Cindi, you’re miles more attractive when you’re being a real person instead of a Cinthetic one. But soon Cindi’s mistress summons her; somebody needs to go to SheBar to accept a delivery.

Dawn Denbo: Can you do that? Seriously. Can you go now? Because they’re waiting at the delivery. Thank you. Nice face. Thank you.

“Nice face.” That seems like more of a mom-ism than a Denbo-ism. Are you slipping, Dawnie?

On the boardwalk — Tasha and Alice are strolling along. I think they’re talking about Tasha’s job, which apparently she has quit. But I can’t really hear anything because Tasha’s tank top is occupying all my senses.

Alice doesn’t say much about Tasha’s decision to quit her job. She sort of mutters “crazy,” but not in a concerned way. Maybe she’s similarly dazzled by the tank top, but I fear she just wants to be somewhere else.

They meet Tasha’s friend from basic training, J.J. — as well as J.J.’s s girlfriend Karen, who immediately freaks out:

Karen: Holy f—in’ s—. I know you.

Alice: You do?

Karen: “I’m Alice Pieszecki, and you’re watching The Look!”

Alice handles the adulation with aplomb, but she can’t stay for lunch. She gives Tasha a goodbye kiss, then comes back when Karen calls after her and asks for an autograph. I’m not quite sure how Tasha feels about this fame thing.

Somebody should cue up some David Bowie right about now. Or maybe some Debbie Allen.

Old friends — Jenny and Tina are at the Planet, having coffee and talking about Lez Girls. And then one girl in particular:

Tina: Niki came into my trailer the other day, and she was crying.

Jenny: Really? Why?

Tina: She says you won’t return any of her calls.

Apparently Niki talks about Jenny all the time and is always asking Tina about what Jenny would like and what Jenny would think. Who would Jenny bomb?

Jenny: Well, I don’t want to be with someone who’s afraid to be who they are.

Huh. I often think of Jenny as a wildly inconsistent character, but we might have just found the thread that has stretched across all these seasons: Jenny believes in being true to yourself, even when your brand of truth is just plain loony tunes.

Tina: [Niki] has a lot to lose.

Jenny: So do I. I don’t have a career anymore. My agents just dropped me.

Tina seems sincerely sorry about that. You know what I’m sincerely sorry about? Tina’s shirt. It looks like someone took a giant teardrop-shaped hole punch to it. Perhaps the tears represent the designer’s state of mind when he realized what he had done.

Jenny has teardrops of her own to share. She talks a big game, but she misses her starlet.

Jenny: Do you think I should call Niki?

Tina: I don’t know.

Yes, you do know! I think we all do. As John McLaughlin might say, “The answer is no, and I rank it a 10, 10 being a metaphysical certainty.”

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