Ding, dong, the “Bionic Woman” is dead


Stick a fork in her: The

Bionic Woman
is done. What? She’s bionic; she’ll heal fast.

Rumors of the show’s demise persisted for months, but its status

remained in seemingly eternal limbo, thanks to the writers’ strike. While

NBC has yet to officially pronounce the show DOA, last week Bionic

co-executive producer David Eick confirmed the cancellation

to Sci Fi Wire

dashing the hopes of its dozens and dozens of remaining fans.

Now, I realize this news is

probably, well, duh to anyone who watched even a couple of episodes.

The incredible hype surrounding the freshman series fizzled to a barely

audible meh as the season progressed. Eick attributes the failure

to the show never coming together as hoped:

“I just felt that

the process was so frustrating, and the conditions under which we were

making that show never really came to fruition in such a way that I

felt like we could make the show well. The actress (Michelle Ryan)

we found was wonderful. Some of the writing was good.”

Wonderful? Well, her abs were wonderful. And some of

the writing was good? That must mean some was bad. Which, of course,

it was. Bionic Woman had that killer combo of uninspired dialogue, unintelligible

storylines and an underwhelming lead. Also, God, how boring was her

boyfriend? Snore. If he’s a secret agent, than he must be 00Zzzz.

You could count me among some

of the most excited pre-fans as I eagerly awaited its arrival last fall.

Heck, I think I even drooled a little. But once the dream became a reality,

oh, how the wheels came off. Granted, I stuck with it so much longer

than I should have. The potential of Sarah

was that

strong. Still, even I didn’t bother to watch the show’s final pre-strike

(and now, ever) episode. I have only so many hours in my life; why waste

one more?

So the Bionic Woman

has been banished to the dust-bin of failed Next Big Things, where it

joins Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip and countless others anointed

before their time. In the end, I’d like to think that Bionic’s

bombing is proof that the despite the deployment of the full force of

a major broadcast network’s promotions, marketing and public-relations

machines, people still would rather watch good things on TV. OK, fine,

even I don’t understand the success of Two and a Half Men.

But the exception proves the rule, right? So, goodbye Bionic Woman.

We’ll always have those one-armed pull-ups.

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