Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (March 14, 2008)



“You know who I think is flawless? Alicia Keys. I think she’s absolutely beautiful, such a sweetheart, down to earth. So maybe Alicia Keys.” — Janet Jackson, when asked by who would be her celebrity girl-crush.


Jodie Foster graces the cover of this week’s Parade magazine, talking mostly about motherhood and childhood, since she’s promoting her new family movie Nim’s Island. Dorothy Snarker wrote a funny blog post about it that includes a scan of the cover:

As always, the reporter tried to get Jodie to discuss her personal life, and as always, Jodie declined:

Jodie has never admitted to any romantic involvements. When I ask why she has not yet fallen in love, she gets irritated and explains, perhaps disingenuously, “Oh my life is basically from the head up. I’m definitely not proud of that. I’m very analytical.”

This then led other publications to trumpet the news that “Jodie’s never been in love!” Never mind that this isn’t really what she said, and never mind that even Parade — one of the most widely read mainstream weekly newspaper inserts in America — clearly isn’t buying it, since they ran a photo of Foster and Cydney Bernard along with the article.

Granted, they did cover their bases a little by describing Cydney Bernard as “a longtime friend,” but since when do newspapers publish photos of famous people with their un-famous “longtime friends”?

That’s like Parade running a photo of “Salma Hayek and longtime friend Karman Kregloe.”

Uh, I mean, if Salma and I were romantically involved. Which we are absolutely not. Those photos of us leaving that hotel together don’t prove anything. I’ve never even heard of her. I’ve never been in love! I’m very analytical! I like Funyuns and Mountain Dew!

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