Archive

Interview With Kat Feller of “High School Reunion”

TV Land’s new reality show, High School Reunion, which premieres tonight, reunites classmates from a Texas high school 20 years later in a beautiful Maui setting. The show brings together the grown-up versions of various typical high school identities such as “the jock,” “the popular girl” and “the bully,” as well as identities that emerged some time after high school, including “the lesbian,” embodied by Kat Feller.

Now an animation voice-over actor who lives in the Los Angeles area, Feller dated boys during high school but considered herself a closeted lesbian who was never able to truly be herself with her classmates. In the first episode, she comes out to her former classmates and shares details of her lesbian life since graduation. But Feller also reveals another motive for joining the reunion: She’s thinking about dating men again and wants to explore her bi-curious side with her old classmates.

She recently talked with AfterEllen.com about how it felt to come out her classmates, going on a date with the most popular boy in school, and who she had a crush on back in the ’80s.

AfterEllen.com: You’re identified on the show as “the lesbian.” You say on the show that you really bloomed after high school when you started living as a lesbian. When was that?

Kat Feller: I came out to my family about a year after I was actually out to my self. And that was about at the age of 21. … Maybe two or three years after high school I started identifying with it and understanding exactly the way I was feeling and knowing that I’d had these feelings for a really long time. I mean, elementary school long time. But just being too scared to even think about what was going through my head.

AE: Early on in the series you come out to your classmates, and then very soon after that you tell them you are interested in exploring dating men again. Can you tell us about that decision?

KF: Over the years as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become a little bit more open. In my 20s, I was anti-man and that sort of thing. I think men are great as people and beautiful as people. I am physically way more drawn to women still and I know that I always will be, but part of me doesn’t want to be so closed off – but I also can’t see myself being with a man long-term. I don’t even feel like I’d be comfortable going on a true date with a guy.

To be honest with you, it makes me a little uncomfortable just to think about it, because it’s just so foreign. But it makes me a little bit curious because it has been so long since I’ve been on a date with a guy, so as I’ve gotten older I’ve gotten just really curious to see what it would be like to go on a date with a guy. So that’s where that came about.

Coming out to my classmates on TV and finally getting to come out to them 20 years after the fact was an amazing experience for me, as far as that goes. It was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. It felt really, really good to be myself.

AE: Among your women classmates, was there anyone whose reaction to your coming out really surprised you?

KF: You know what? Out of all the women who were there who I confessed to or told my secret to, every single one of them were completely supportive, excited actually, like “Oh, really?” Very inquisitive. They were like, “Tell us about it.”

It was funny because when everyone was talking about their relationships, they were like, “My boyfriend does this, my boyfriend does that,” and I was like, “Yeah, I’ve been in a relationship for the last five years.” And they were like, “What does he do?” And I’m thinking, “Why does it always have to be a he?” I was like, “She,” and they were like, “Whoa!” They were all surprised a little bit, but not in a negative way.

It was very positive. Never once did I get a negative response at all. Honest. It made me feel really comfortable the whole show. It was nice.

Former classmates Robbie (left) and Kirsten with Kat (right)

AE: You’re given the option to go on a date with one of the men in the group. Did you think it would be easier to consider dating men whom you had known in your past?

KF: That was one of the reasons why I did agree to go on a date with a guy from my school, because it felt almost like it was safe. Like, OK, this isn’t somebody that’s foreign to me. Granted, I haven’t seen this person in 20 years, but I did know him in high school – he was the most popular. I know this sounds so cheesy, but dude, if you’re going to go for it, why not go for the coolest guy that you went to school with?

It ended up being a win-win situation because Robbie is so frickin’ sweet – he’s just such a sweetheart. I had these butterflies in my stomach like the first time you ever went on a date with a guy, like in junior high. It felt so strange, and I never felt comfortable.

Matt and Yvette with Kat

You know, it was funny because I kept thinking the whole time that we were sitting there on the sand, “Man, I would be so much more on my game if I had a girl here from high school with me.” I would be the one dominating. I would be the one asking the questions. I would be the one asking her if she wants to go skinny dipping. And for it to be the other way around, it just felt strange. But it was cute, it was fun. I realized afterwards, I was like, “OK, this is definitely not going to be happening anytime soon.”

AE: You have these two chaste kisses with Rob and he paints you with body paint, and then afterwards you tell the camera that you’ve decided that you’re really a lesbian. What happened on that date to make you go, “This is not going to work for me.”

KF: What happened … was just the uncomfortable feeling that I was having. I felt no connection at all. I felt admired. I felt like he was being very genuine and sweet and cute and all that, but I also kind of know how guys are. That’s always in the back of my mind – I mean, I’m not stereotyping them by any means, but it seems like most men just want one thing. I don’t know, when you’re on a date with a woman it just seems a little bit more genuine to me, sweeter.

It’s not that he wasn’t genuine and sweet, it’s just the uncomfortableness of the way I felt when I was on this date with him made me feel like, “OK, this is definitely not what I want, this is not what’s going to make me happy long-term.” I just need to stick with what does make me happy and what makes me comfortable. I tried it and it’s just not right for me.

AE: Do you ever get to date any of the women?

KF: [laughs] I do not get to date, sadly, any of the women. They did bring on one of my high school crushes. So I got to confess to her that I had a crush on her. But the second she got there – I don’t want to spoil it. But let’s just say I did get to confess to someone that I at least had a crush on them, which made me feel good about having somebody there that I could say that to.

AE: You were all part of the class of ’87. At that time, as a closeted lesbian in high school, what women in popular culture did you think were really hot?

KF: Back then the women who I thought were hot were, of course, Madonna. She was a big role model for everybody. Madonna’s a good one. She was very open about who she was, and she seemed very free-spirited.

AE: You mentioned wearing Madonna-like clothes at one point.

KF: Oh my gosh, I was full-on neon, the bracelets, the scarves, the big hair, really big hair and bows. What was I doing wearing bows, really? I’m wearing a bow in my senior picture. I know Cyndi Lauper was a lot earlier, but she made a big impact on me way back then. And the Go-Go’s were a big deal. Actually, I had a big crush on Belinda Carlisle.

AE: She’s going to be at Dinah Shore this year, did you know that?

KF: Oh, she is! I would love to go to Dinah Shore. I’ve never been.

 

AE: It was pretty amazing how quickly all of you gelled back together again after 20 years apart.

KF: We did all connect very quickly. I mean, imagine this: Imagine you having the opportunity to get together with 15 people that you went to high school with 20 years ago, and being put together in a house in Maui and just having the time to do whatever. You have nothing else to do but bond.

When we all left there, it was so emotional. I felt like I needed to go to therapy. I was depressed for like a week. I’m not kidding. When I got back to L.A., the only people I wanted to talk to were my classmates. I didn’t want to talk to my parents – I love my parents, not to say anything bad about my close friends or anyone else – but it was just like we connected on such a level that I can’t even describe it.

I couldn’t imagine being one of the people on Survivor or people who are on those two- or three-month reality shows. I couldn’t imagine being thrown back into the real world after that, after what I went through in just two weeks.

AE: Overall, how did you feel about your reunion experience?

KF:My reunion experience was just the most exciting thing I’ve ever done in my entire life. Any trip I’ve ever been on pales in comparison to the experience that I had on the show. For me, specifically, it was like a big weight that was off my shoulders once I was done.

It was a relief trip for me, it was bonding trip for me, it was an emotional trip for me. And it was just wonderful in every way. I wish that I was still there. I wish they would take us all back and do a reunion after the reunion show.

High School Reunion premieres Wednesday, March 5, at 10:00 p.m. ET on TV Land.

Lesbian Apparel and Accessories Gay All Day sweatshirt -- AE exclusive

Related Articles

Leave a Reply

Back to top button