Archive

Interview With Kristanna Loken – Bisexual Difficulties

One of very few openly bisexual actors, Kristanna Loken is passionate, outspoken and unflinchingly honest – about everything. In a recent interview with AfterEllen.com, the Painkiller Jane and T3: Rise of the Machines star was as candid as ever about her experiences on the set of The L Word, her nonprofit work around the world and her recent engagement to actor Noah Danby.

AfterEllen.com: Well, first, I understand congratulations are in order for your engagement. Kristanna Loken: Oh, thank you, thank you. It definitely came as a surprise to me, but it was one of those things. … As you know, I’ve always been open about being bisexual and it could have been a man, it could have been a woman. It just so happens it was Noah.

AE: You met him on the set of Painkiller Jane? KL: Yeah.

AE: Have you gotten any reaction from fans? KL: No, I mean, I kind of kept it quiet for a while because you sometimes want to do things quietly. So, no, not really.

AE: You’re one of a handful of actresses who have come out as lesbian or bi. Did that put added pressure on you when it came to announcing your engagement? KL: Maybe subconsciously I felt a little bit because you never know who’s going to react to what how. Probably the toughest part for me about being bisexual is the lines are dotted, and you don’t fit into one group or the other, and so people tend to be very judgmental. That can be really difficult.

I didn’t know how people would react [to my engagement], but frankly I don’t really care at the end of the day. It’s my life and I’m going to love whom I choose, but I would hope in the end people would just be happy for someone else’s happiness.

AE: So, to be clear, you’re still openly bisexual. KL: Sure, I mean, it’s not like something you choose. I certainly didn’t choose it, so I think that’s always going to be part of who I am and what I’m about. It was just a matter of the person. It could’ve been a woman just as easily, and it wasn’t. But I also think it was where I was in my life that I really was ready to find a life partner. I was with a woman when I met Noah, so I really wasn’t expecting something like that to happen, but who knows? Such is life.

AE: I think your engagement could be a little challenging for some of your lesbian fans, just because so few celebrities are openly partnered with a person of the same gender. KL: Well, I never came out and said I was strictly a lesbian. People can always choose how to read in between the lines. Certainly me having relationships with certain women in the public who didn’t want to be out in public didn’t really make it easier for me.

But in the end, you just hope people are going to support your happiness. It shouldn’t really matter. I think that was the biggest thing about coming out, is being accepted to love whom you want. I guess it’s kind of the ultimate test of that: Are people in the gay and lesbian community going to accept you if you love another gender?

AE: Being bisexual rather than lesbian puts you in an especially difficult position. KL: Definitely, because you’re not going to always please everybody by being with one or the other. It’s hard. If you’re in a straight relationship, it’s really easy: You find someone and you get married, and people think that’s great. Or if you’re strictly in the lesbian community, fine, then you have your life partner and that’s that. But as a bisexual, it’s tough.

And it’s tough for me. This is something that I’m going to have to deal with within my relationship on a personal level, and for me it’s day to day because I’m never, ever not going to be attracted to women or want to be with women. But I’ve made a choice with a person who fulfills most of my desires – and I’m not talking sexually, I’m talking compatibility.

I think the more truthful you are with yourself and with the public, then there’s less judgment that’s going to be made because it doesn’t become about guesswork or lying. It’s just the truth, and people should accept your truth. Isn’t that what everyone strives for in life?

AE: When T3 came out in 2003, you said you were ready for it – ready for celebrity. Were you? KL: Sure, sure, I really was. If, again, you come back to being honest with yourself, and the people that surround you and your fans, and just try on a day-to-day level to do the best work you can, then you’re doing your job. And you know, I haven’t checked myself into rehab lately and I haven’t had any major problems, so in that sense I think I’ve remained pretty level-headed.

AE: Opening your personal life to the public can be especially difficult, and sometimes especially painful. But you’re saying it’s the opposite, it’s a relief. KL: I think it is, because look at all the guesswork people try to do about other peoples’ lives, all the time that’s wasted. I’m not about the tabloids. I’m not that type of person. I think people create that mystique because they want to be talked about, but if they just said it how it is and put that out there, people can’t second-guess that.

AE: And even as your work and life evolve, you’re not going to change your approach – it works for you. KL: Well, and from my perspective, how could it not? Because I really don’t care what people say or think. You can’t please everybody. You can’t. You never can. So whatever people want to think, that’s their opinion and their past mixture of life and judgment and love, or hatred or greed or fear, or whatever that they’re putting toward their ultimate judgment on whether they like me or not – and I don’t care to spend enough time to delve into that.

You could look up any public figure online, and you’ll have thousands of people who love them and think they’re amazing, and thousands who think they’re terrible and unattractive and not talented. That is also the great thing about art: It’s subjective. It’s the most talked about and influential thing in the world, maybe aside from war.

AE: You’ve used your status as a public figure to help a variety of nonprofits, including MyLifE, a South Africa-based organization. Can you talk about that foundation? KL: Yeah, to me part of being a public figure is doing things like the MyLifE project. When you have the ability to travel like I do with work, you get thrown into these other cultures and get forced to get your eyes open and look at what’s going on in the rest of the world.

When I was in Cape Town, I had the opportunity to meet this wonderful woman, Linzi [Thomas], who lived on the streets at some point herself. And now she has created this wonderful foundation for kids living on the street.

AE: What drew you to MyLifE in particular? KL: Well, first of all, by the year 2012, there will be 12 million orphaned street kids living on the streets in South Africa. That’s as many as there are in the countries of Norway and Sweden combined – a staggering number of kids.

When I read Linzi’s proposal for the foundation, it wasn’t just raising money for the kids and giving it to them and hoping they get off the streets. It was a whole proposal for an eco-village that will rehabilitate these children, teach them to care for themselves, teach them skills and get them into the workforce.

And then the kids themselves – a lot of them are smoking crack at age 9. I mean, it’s staggering the amount of drug abuse and child prostitution and just horrible, horrible things that go on in the streets. When I was in Cape Town, we actually went out on the street with her one night; Linzi said you’ve just got to meet the children. We had the opportunity to meet them and talk to them and tell them what we’re doing and let them know they’re not alone and just to be a friend.

AE: Can you talk some more about where exactly you went and the kids you met? KL: Sure, we went to downtown Cape Town, in one of the quote-unquote bad areas. It had an open concrete field and some little vendors selling cheap food. Linzi said, “You’ll have a great time,” and we did – we actually had a great time.

They were so hopeful and positive amidst all this pain and hardship and tragedy. All the young girls have kids by the age of 14. A lot of these kids are HIV-positive. There’s lots of drug abuse. Kids are smoking crack or something called “tik,” which is a street form of speed.

There was one group of three young girls who were friends and said they sleep under an overpass in this cement area. They seemed really down, and they said it was because they saw one of their friends get run over by a truck the day before.

AE: Oh my God. KL: It was just – there used to be a group of four and now there’s three, and this is just their Tuesday, you know? The casualties are high. There was another girl that was getting herself ready. She was really sweet, and she said, “I got to go; I need to go make money.” She had an infant, she was all of 14 herself, and she was going to go prostitute herself.

So it’s – your heart is just overflowing with compassion and understanding for these kids. Some had pictures of what their life used to be like, and they wanted to show you. They were really hopeful that we might be able to help.

AE: And now you’re the global ambassador for MyLifE? KL: Right, just this past summer, they asked me to be the global ambassador to the MyLifE project, and since then we have done so much, including putting together a fundraiser that just took place in Berlin.

AE: I understand it was a lingerie auction? KL: Yeah, we wanted to do something a little different, so we decided to do a lingerie auction, and then we also did a five-course dinner. Diesel was the sponsor for the lingerie, and the event drew over 400 people to one of the city’s top clubs, Bangaluu. It was a big success – so much so that we’re planning to have a similar event in L.A. this fall. … I don’t care if you’re gay, straight, old or young, who doesn’t love a lingerie auction?

AE: People sometimes roll their eyes about celebrities and their pet causes, but this sounds like it’s really a big part of your life. KL: Oh, it is. It absolutely is. People can roll their eyes if they want, but at least you’re doing something. People always say: “What can I do? I’m only one person.” Well, the glass is half-full or it’s half-empty. I mean, what can you do as one person? You can make a huge impact, and I really feel strongly about that. I really do. And this is just one of the causes that I’m a part of. I’m not going to bore you with the others … or maybe I should.

AE: [laughs] Sure, just name them. KL: Okay, I’ll be brief. There’s the ROCK Foundation in Romania, which I got involved with when I shot BloodRayne. There are a lot of displaced infants in Romania, and we’re working to help them. … I also am working with a nonprofit that helps educate children on how to care for their juvenile diabetes. It’s called Circle of Life Camp, which is located in upstate New York around the area where I grew up. And I should say, all of these groups were formed by amazing women who have inspired me and influenced my life a lot.

AE: Tell me about your latest movie, Lime Salted Love. I know it’s coming to New York on March 1. KL: This was the first film that I produced and also star in. It’s going to screen at the New York International Independent Film and Video Festival, and I’ll definitely be there for the event and after-party.

AE: I understand your character in Lime Salted Love is more grounded than some of the other larger-than-life characters you’ve played. KL: Yeah, it’s definitely a very human, emotional story. My girlfriend Danielle Agnello wrote it; she and I have been really good friends since we met in acting class. It’s kind of an avant-garde piece, a bit like Mulholland Drive meets 21 Grams, edited out of sequence like Memento – if you can follow that [laughs].

It’s a tangle of people’s lives, set in L.A., and how childhood traumas really shape you as an individual and also your sexuality as an adult. There’s an underlying love story between my character and Danielle’s character, and there’s a love triangle because her boyfriend is involved.

AE: Because it’s the first movie you produced and starred in, it must be especially close to you. KL: Absolutely. We put so much into this, especially Danielle. … I think the film will really affect people. It’s not uplifting. It’s certainly not a feel-good film, but it is very provocative. It’s about people trying to get through life and deal with their inner demons.

AE: You’re only 28, but you’re already taking control of the projects you take on. That’s a really privileged position to be in at a young age. KL: I think you have to stand up and really believe in projects if you want them to get done. The monetary gain shouldn’t be the driving force of doing your own creative work; the gratification that you reap is so much greater. I only want to do good work from here on out in my life; whatever’s in the past is in the past. But I certainly haven’t seen that many scripts that are really that amazing, and if I have to create my own projects … it’s a hell of a lot harder, that’s for sure, but why not?

AE: So why did you sign on for The L Word? How did that part fit into your plans? KL: They came to me and asked me to be a part of it, and I thought, “Sure, why not?” It was fun, it was exhilarating, and it was liberating to be a part of that, and also to have it be such a part of me.

AE: In what way? KL: Well, just to be able to show same-sex relationships in a kind of quote-unquote truthful way. I mean, sure, everyone’s life is more glamorous on that show, but it wasn’t exploited necessarily. It’s a risqué show, but it was fun to be a part of that; it’s a pioneer of its kind. There’s no other show like it.

AE: Were you pleased with the story arc your character followed? KL: I honestly didn’t really think too much about it. I was initially going to come on and do a few episodes, and then it ended up being a full season. Then Ilene called me and said this is a great story line, and I was really busy doing Painkiller Jane, so I really physically could not have done any more episodes than I did.

I guess it was true to [Shane’s] character. That’s what I’m gathering. I haven’t really watched a lot of the earlier episodes before I was on the show, but I don’t know, I guess in the end [Shane’s] character wasn’t shown in a very good light, but I guess that’s kind of how her character is.

AE: So you’re not taking responsibility for the arson? KL: [laughs] No, that was kind of something they put in there. I somehow don’t really see Paige really caring that much to go and start a fire at [Shane’s] place of work. I don’t necessarily think that’s her character. If she did do it, Paige has a really low, nasty streak in her.

AE: It sounded like, from some interviews you’ve given, that there was tension on the set. KL: Yeah, you know, it’s a set of all women, and women can be catty. There were a lot of people that were great. I really loved Ilene Chaiken. I think she’s wonderful, and Angela Robinson was great, and we had some wonderful directors to work with. … I loved that a lot of the crew was women and it was a female-driven show, which is totally unlike how it normally is on a set, where it’s probably 80 percent male. So that was fun.

But the girls – some of them weren’t really the most welcoming. I think coming into a cast that’s super-tight after they’ve worked together for a number of years is hard. You want to feel accepted, and you want to feel like people want you to be there. And when people aren’t really the most welcoming, it just makes it tough. Like in any workplace, if anybody starts a new job and they’re working with people who aren’t the most welcoming or friendly, you don’t really feel like you’re having that much fun.

Again, I loved what the show was about, and some of the people were great. But, you know … sometimes people are more welcoming with others, and that could just be the way these people are, and so be it.

AE: Was it any different when you came back to film your last episode? KL: You know, I have to say people were really cool when I came back for the last show I did. People were really cool, and I think that they maybe had realized that they hadn’t been the most welcoming or whatever. And I’m not saying everybody’s got to be my best friend – I don’t care about that – but at least you want to feel welcomed and accepted and like you’re part of something really cool. Because that’s what I thought it was: I thought it was a really cool show, and I was happy to be there. So in the end, everybody was fine, and that’s the truth.

AE: Did you enjoy working with Kate [Moennig] in particular? KL: Yeah, I think she’s a good actress and she makes interesting choices in her work. She’s definitely the character. I think a lot of those character-people lines after several years become a little skewed as to who’s necessarily what or who.

AE: I think it’d be really difficult as an actor to avoid having that happen. KL: Depending on the character, right. I think if the character is someone who’s really close to who you are as a person, then, yeah, it would be very easy for those lines to get crossed.

AE: Last question: I know you love the outdoors. Do you have any major adventures planned? KL: Well, I like doing little explorations. I think you can have so much fun in your own city if you just take the time to explore what’s around you. We went on a 13-mile hike near L.A. the other day, where it was 80 degrees at the base and we climbed about 5,000 feet, and there was snow on top, which was super cool. And then we looked over at the next hill and were like, “What’s that over there?” So I think we know where we’re going next.

Lime Salted Love screens at the ImaginAsian Theater in New York City on March 1 at 8 p.m. Tickets are available at www.nyfilmvideo.com. Loken will be on hand to introduce the film and plans to attend the after-party at Pacha.

Lesbian Apparel and Accessories Gay All Day sweatshirt -- AE exclusive

Related Articles

Leave a Reply

Back to top button