“The L Word” Recaps: Episode 5.4 “Let’s Get This Party Started”


Alice continues to tease Shane:

Alice: Don’t you think she’s hot? The trainer? She’s got the abs, she’s got the ass …

Shane: [with a hard punch to Alice’s pads, yelling] No! I don’t.

Everyone freezes. Bette and Jenny are both impressed. Seeing the odd look on the trainer’s face, Shane tries to shrug it off:

Shane: “No,” right? No.

I love funny Shane!

Meanwhile, Jenny, I’m sorry, but there’s only one way to say this: You hit like a girl.

I guess a would-be mugger would get a friendly punch on the arm from her. “You joker, you! Stop pretending to attack me and sit down so we can have a nice chat about how amazing I am.”

Jenny thinks SheBar will be full of Hollywood lesbians who want to be in the movie, and she looks forward to telling them that Natalie Portman has the job.

Tina: Natalie passed; we’re going with Niki Stevens.

Jenny does her own punch-with-shout — who knew self-defense moves could be so useful in disagreements? Jenny slaps Tina’s punch pads a few more times, proving she can use force when she needs to, until the trainer makes them all switch places. Aw, it was just getting good!

Oh, but there’s one more pseudo-fistfight. Alice, still in provocateur mode, asks Tina whether she’s meeting Brenda (she of the augmented bosom) at SheBar.

Bette: Who’s Brenda?

Tina: Just this girl I went out with last week.

Alice: She’s a heart surgeon. She’s hot, talks dirty in bed …

Tina gives Alice a look and mutters, “What?!” — but I think she’s kind of amused, too.

Bette: Dirty talking? Nice. You slept with her on the first date?

Tina: [brazenly] Yeah, I did, actually.

Bette: Now you’re gonna go to SheBar with her?

Tina: I don’t know; she’s going anyway. I just thought I’d meet her there, since we’re both going. She’s hot. I like her.

Bette: [punching and yelling Jodi’s pads] No!

Jodi: What the f—, Bette?!

Bette: I’m sorry; I’m just playing.

Mm-hmm. With Tina-shaped fire!

The trainer asks Shane if she can “use” her for a demonstration. Shane jokes, “Someone’s in trouble,” saying “troublllle” like Tootie did on The Facts of Life.

This demo requires some “nice and tight gripping” and ends with a knee to the groin.

Kit: What if this m———er has a gun?

Shane doesn’t care what the answer is to that query; she’s too busy staring at the trainer’s breasts.

Bette and Tina somehow end up being partners for the demo, which doesn’t thrill Jodi.

Alice caps it all off with one more round of goading:

Alice: I think Summer [the trainer] likes you.

Shane: Would you please shut the f— up? God, frickin’ mouth.

Alice: Has anyone seen Shane’s vagina? ‘Cause I think she dropped it somewhere.

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