“Cashmere Mafia” Recaps: Episode 1.3 “Dangerous Liaisons”


Stressed out — Back in New York, Mia and Caitlin are walking together in Central Park, gauging the severity of Caitlin’s zit.

Caitlin tells Mia that in her business, she might as well stay home with a bag over her head, “with a hole for lasagna.”

Caitlin does not handle stress well. But she looks hot. And isn’t that what really matters?

Caitlin: It’s not bad enough I’m slammed at work. I get outed as a blind item in this ridiculous blog? Whatever happened to a woman’s right to kiss another woman in public without it being posted all over the internet?

Yes, whatever happened to those inalienable rights about PDA and the internets?

Caitlin: I hate the freaking internet!

Mia: Stop it, you’re spinning.

Caitlin: I know! But I was just exploring all of this, and now I’m a parlor game for bored assistants. And, I haven’t heard from Alicia for days. I don’t even know what she’s thinking.

Mia: The phone works both ways. You can call her. I’m sure she’s wondering what you’re thinking.

Caitlin: Really?

Damn, Alicia. Call your girl. If not to reassure her, then to listen to her adorable Brooklyn accent as she rants about the lack of rights for making out in public.

More salad, more talking ­— Zoe tells the girls about the Barbie and Ken office romance. Mia tells them about Jack’s final dig at her and shows them the ugly Modern Man cover. Juliet, somewhat unsympathetically, implies his attitude was to be expected because she rocks so hard.

Mia is confused. Isn’t that what he loved about her? That she’s a winner? Caitlin says, “No. Men want to console you and say, ‘Don’t worry, honey, you’ll win next time.'” Hate to say I-told-you-so, but Jack’s ideal mate was never Jack with a vagina.

Meanwhile, Caitlin’s zit has mysteriously disappeared for this scene.

After their five leaves of lettuce and four tomato wedges, Zoe and Juliet walk it off. Juliet admits she’s having second thoughts about yucking Bobby into next Tuesday. She says Davis has been on his best behavior, even suggesting a historical re-enactment at their favorite resort in Anguilla. And by “best behavior,” she means he hasn’t hopped into any strange beds in like, a whole week. Wow. How can she resist the urge not to run out and renew their vows?

That said, Juliet suspects there was more to his affair with Cilla than a quickie at the Hotel Gansevoort. And Cilla’s nasty website proves it because “Hell hath no fury like a mistress scorned,” she says.

Back from Boston, Zoe and Clayton talk about what happened and it goes something like this: blah, blah, thinking with your little head, blah, blah, if she were a man, blah, lost a point, blah, take care of it, ya dope.

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