“The L Word” Recaps: Episode 5.2 “Look Out, Here They Come!”

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What a shock — The bride still hasn’t appeared. She’s inside telling Shane how tired she is of trying to please her father. Hey, you see that Kleenex box on the countertop? I have one just like that in my bedroom! Luckily, there are no crying brides in my bedroom.

Shane goes into Yoda mode and reminds Madison to think about what she wants. She says some things about regret, throwing things away, and finding someone who’s faithful and treats you right. Shane has always been very good at advising everyone but herself.

Madison eventually decides to go through with the wedding — but not before trying to kiss Shane. Just this once, Shane refrains.

Shane: You really remind me of someone I used to know. A lot. No, no, it’s a compliment.

Yeah, I was thinking that too.

The bride

The gay lady

I can’t help it; everything reminds me of Dana. (It’s like that old Jane Siberry song, “Everything Reminds Me of My Dog.”) But Shane might be talking about someone else — someone who once wore a wedding dress and then found out she didn’t need to.

But you know who else the bride reminds me of? Tegan. And/or Sara.

Finally — Kit is strutting. In prison.

The cons yell, “Yo, mama!” and “Brown sugar!” as she sashays by. Yes! All those piddly three-line throwaway scenes over the last four seasons have been adding up to this. It’s a nice homage to Grier’s marvelous work in the blaxploitation genre. If only she had a gun-stashing ‘fro to go with her swagger. And yet this is still too short. What a waste of a badass!

Of course, she’s there to talk to Helena. That seems kinda weird, but maybe they bonded between seasons. Anyway, she explains that “clique up” means “join a gang.”

Helena: What use am I going to be to a prison gang?

Fair question. Helen also wants to know what it meant when Dusty said, “She’s with me.”

Kit: Oh, girl, baby girl, that means that if Jackie even look at you wrong, she has to answer to Dusty. Girl, I hope Dusty is tough enough to take care of you.

Helena: Oh, she’s strong. She’s amazingly strong.

Helena admits she thought Dusty was a homicidal maniac at first, but lately she’s been watching her and admiring her “quiet intensity.” Is that what they’re calling it now?

Kit advises her to stick with Dusty.

Helena: How do you know all this?

Kit: I been places, OK? S—, have I.

I still say Kit rocks. Girl.

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