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“Cashmere Mafia” Recaps: Episode 1.2 “Conference Call”

It’s a chick thing – As we begin a new day in Cashmere Sex and the Mafia City, the girls are gearing up to go into battle. For fashion-forward, fat-check paycheck, femme women, “gearing up” means arming themselves with just the necessities: wallets, cell phones and Crackberries, makeup, nail polish, enough hair product for three different weather conditions, appointment books, condoms and breath mints. The whole mess then gets tossed into a luxurious designer purse that cost more than my first car.

To celebrate her promotion to publisher at Barnstead Media, Mia has treated herself to a new Gucci bag. She lovingly opens the box, peels back the tissue paper and removes the dream purse from its protective cloth bag. Yes, her bag has a bag. I, on the other hand, tend to travel light. Anything I can’t fit in my pockets goes in my girlfriend’s purse. And that’s the world as it should be.

For Mia’s first day as Publisher, she’s also chosen a bob hairdo that reminds me of the toe-sucking scene in The Last Emperor. And her chiffon blouse? Captain Jack Sparrow called. He wants his shirt back. First day on the job – At her new office, Mia is greeted by her assistant, a very cheerful young woman named Tracy. Tracy beams supportively as Mia swings open the glass door and surveys her new surroundings.

There are congratulatory flower arrangements and gift baskets everywhere. One creative well-wisher has sent a selection of sunglasses, arranged as topiary. The card reads, “Your future’s so bright, you have to wear shades.” Damn. Now I have to think of something else to send Sarah for Christmas next year.

The sunglass tree was a gift from Mia’s former mentor, now subordinate, Grant, a tall, dapper fellow who has the head of the Muppet Guy Smiley. Mia tells Guy Grant their first order of business is to secure exclusivity for one of the magazines with a hot, hot, hot photographer named Ian Weber. Mia’s frantic to hit the ground running as publisher. Grant coolly assures her it’ll all work out fine.

Just then, Mia’s boss, Clive, stops by. He’s heard that Jack called off the wedding and thanks her for not making him drink “stale champagne at some office baby shower” someday. Word.

At the drop-off – Meanwhile, it’s a special occasion for Zoe and Eric; they’re walking their kids to school for once. Zoe’s daughter tells her parents that her friend has a new Marc Jacobs bag. The daughter is only 10 years old. Zoe acts aghast, as if the apple doesn’t fall far from the accessory tree.

At the steps of the Athina Onassis Elementary School for Privileged and Therefore Gifted Children, Zoe’s son shows her a tree that he and his class planted.

Zoe: I wish I could spend every morning looking at your tree. Son: You can, if you bring me to school.
Ouch. The next time Zoe has time to walk her kids to school, that tree is going to have 10 more rings and her son is going to be shaving.

Just then, a MILF named Victoria wearing a velour track suit yoo-hoos at Zoe and Eric from the top of the steps. Victoria’s a stay-at-home mom, so pumped up on caffeine and the sheer joy of child-rearing that she’s practically doing cartwheels at the mention of the field trip on Thursday. Zoe’s son looks at his mom expectantly. Zoe has no recollection of a field trip on Thursday, even though Eric says there’s a flyer about in on their bulletin board at home. “We have a bulletin board?” Zoe asks with a straight face.

Victoria tries to cheer up Zoe’s kids with an offer to join her and her own daughter at “Construct-a-Bear” after school. Zoe’s daughter might prefer a trip to Nordstrom at this point, but it’s better than waiting in the library for four hours for someone to pick her up.

And as if Zoe doesn’t already feel threatened by Victoria’s belly shirt and ingratiating ways, Victoria tells her, “Ya know, your husband is really adorable,” while she eyes Eric leeringly. Have a nice day!

Office romance – In her office, Caitlin is leading a meeting to discuss a new makeup line. According to Caitlin, the latest market research shows that women don’t want to tan, they want to glow. There are several ways to achieve this attractive look. Have mind-blowing sex. Smear lightning bugs all over your face. Live next to a nuclear reactor.

Caitlin’s new attraction on the road less traveled, Alicia, is also at the meeting. Alicia suggests they call their new product “No-Blush” blush and smiles playfully at Caitlin. A white man tries to score diversity points with Alicia by asking if anyone realizes they’re only marketing to white women?

Alicia: Well, they do buy makeup … Man: Well … uh … of course. Alicia: And they certainly should glow. That’s what they want. [looking into Caitlin’s eyes] You did say that’s what they want. Caitlin: I did? I did! [flustered] Is anyone else thirsty?
She empties a bottle of water in four gulps flat, giving Alicia a view of her lovely neck.

Caitlin and her enormous cow eyes are adorable. Alicia declares the meeting over and thanks everyone. As the others walk away, Alicia slides on up onto Caitlin.

Alicia: Tomorrow night? Caitlin: [nervously] Yeah, mm hmm. Alicia: Are you wearing the product now? ‘Cause I’m noticing this no-blush blush … [wink]
Caitlin turns away, imagining all the fun they’re going to have later. The opposite of that would be – Turn-a-blind-eye Juliet and her one-eyed trouser snake husband, Davis, are in a marriage counseling session. Oh, goody. Processing times two.

Davis fills everyone’s ass up with smoke by somberly “confessing” he cheated because he wanted to get caught. He knew it was wrong and wanted to be punished, ya know, subconsciously. Humping on multiple hot, rich ladies is a cry for help, really.

Dr. Melfi (since we’re already ripping off HBO) looks to Juliet and asks if she does, in fact, plan on punishing Davis. Ya damn skippy she does, and not in a way that’s going to be fun for him. Dr. Melfi is curious about Juliet’s anger. And then, her lack of emotion. Also, has Juliet considered her husband just needs her attention? Dear God, is Davis banging her, too? Does one person in couples therapy always feel like the therapist is favoring your partner? Discuss.

Ice queen – Later that afternoon, the girls meet at an espresso bar to catch up on what’s happened in the 16 hours they’ve been away from each other. Juliet asks her friends if she’s an “ice queen,” as Davis puts it. They all chime in at once: “No. No! No … A little.” The last one being Lucy Liu, of course.

Each woman has her own unique perspective. Mia thinks if the marriage is crap, pinch it off. Zoe thinks she should work on her marriage, because she knows she couldn’t just break it like a bad habit. Mia says calmly: “That’s not something you have to face. If anyone would cheat, it would be you.” I heart Lucy.

Scandalized, the girls gasp into their latte foam. Caitlin giggles a little. Mia explains it’s because Zoe is such an awesome catch. It’s a compliment! Zoe laughs with relief and pulls a Ziploc baggie containing a stack of letter-sized paper from her purse. A woman’s purse. You never know what’s in there.

Zoe explains the pages are a comprehensive printout of every male name in all their collective contacts. From this list, Juliet will choose her revenge screw. And why is the list in a Ziploc bag? Is she going white-water rafting later?

Zoe hands a paper-clipped copy to each of them. Anal much? They eliminate the married men, the chrome domes, the fatties, the shorties and a divorced man who’s now with his stepdaughter. Paging Woody Allen.

The chosen one is Bobby Walsh, the man who got away during business school. Have we mentioned they all went to business school together? And that they know each other from B-school? Or that they met at business school?

Bobby Walsh is a dot-com millionaire who got a “D-I-V-orce,” according to Caitlin. And he’s hot. Juliet is as nervous as a business schoolgirl at the very idea of calling Bobby. I thought only hillbillies and basketball coaches go by “Bobby” after the age of 16, but clearly, I am mistaken.

Next, the girls want to find a hot guy for Caitlin. She starts to fidget and then comes clean.

Caitlin: I’m good. Zoe: Wha? What do you mean “You’re good?” You’re never “good.” Caitlin: Thanks a lot. I am … have a date. All: Really? Mia: You’ve been holding out on us. Caitlin: With a woman. Mia: You’ve really been holding out on us.
Juliet says with disbelief, “You’re gay now?” But Mia doesn’t buy it. Yet.
Caitlin: Excuse me, can the possible lesbian answer that question? I don’t know if I’m gay or I’m straight. I don’t want to join a union yet or anything.
We have a union? If we strike, who else is affected besides the LPGA and the WNBA? I want to see our collective bargaining power used for demanding more and better bathrooms at gay bars.
Mia: You know what? She’s hip. It’s the thing to do. It’s like when everyone was pregnant, ya know. Lesbians are the new babies.
Lesbians are just like babies. They’re soft, they smell good, they’re fun to cuddle and you can’t understand what they want when they start crying.

Still suspicious, Juliet asks if this is like when Caitlin went kosher for two weeks.

Caitlin: I met someone I like. It happens to be a woman. That’s all I got. Just please, be supportive. And don’t act like this never happened to any of you. Mia: Well, I went to Wellesley. It’s practically part of the curriculum.
Sarah? Malinda? Does Wellesley offer a B.A. in Lesbionics? Do tell.
Zoe: I made out with Jenny McGruber at summer camp. She was really good at lanyard. I had some amazing plastic jewelry that summer. Juliet: I was trying to process one lesbian – now I have three.
Making out with a girl at camp does not get you into our union, Zoe. And poor Juliet – so busy trying to put lipstick on her pig of a marriage, she’s failed to realize she can forego the pig and just go straight for the lipstick.

Dirty work – Back at her office, Mia runs in as Grant is running out. He’s off to a designer sample sale, one of the perks of working in midtown Manhattan. Grant invites Mia along, but she says she has to work now, so he skips off without her. It’s just as well, as only one person should be out of the office attending to personal indulgences at a time.

The minute Grant leaves, Clive steps in. Clive is turning out to be a creepy lurker. He tells Mia he wants her to find a rock star director of marketing, but she reminds him that Grant is their director of marketing. OK then, Clive says, fire your longtime mentor and friend, Grant. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. And brave is the woman who wears a Long John Silver’s outfit to work. Crank calling – Meanwhile, Juliet is getting up the nerve to call Bobby Walsh. On the first ring, his secretary answers and Juliet hangs up in a panic.

If she’s going to go through with her revenge sex plan, she’s going to need help. Juliet calls Caitlin, who’s uptown and art directing a photo shoot. Juliet’s sickeningly Type A, and anything less than identify, target, plan, execute throws her into a tailspin. Caitlin tells her to meet her at the photo shoot for some problem-solving.

Dead wood – Back at Mia’s empire, she’s rattling off orders to her assistant Tracy for sales figures, payroll budgets and story rundowns. And more pencils. The publisher should never have to look for a pencil.

Guy Smiley Grant moseys back into work, having spent the afternoon sample sale-hopping, going to his gym to cruise the boys, and grabbing a Pinkberry. What a life. Too bad it’s about to come crashing down on his Muppet head.

Grant sits down in Mia’s office and starts reading a magazine. When she asks him what he’s been working on, he shines her on and eyes her muffin gift basket instead.

Makeover – Up on 70th and Fifth Avenue, Juliet has arrived at Caitlin’s shoot. Caitlin promptly sics her makeup artist and wardrobe lady on her. See you after your transformation from fembizbot to femme fatale.

Mommy wars – After school, Zoe picks her kids up from MILF Victoria’s, where they’re eating tofu and steamed veggies and actually liking it. She’s that good a mom. For dessert, there’s an apple tart. Zoe is amazed that people have apple tart ingredients right there in their kitchens, because all she has in her fridge are Chinese takeout leftovers, juice boxes and batteries.

Victoria suggests the grown-ups have a playdate of their own and all go out to dinner. As they pick a date, the kids excitedly shove a box into Zoe’s hands. They made her a custom bear at “Construct-a-Bear.” Her son urges her to squeeze the hand. When she does, the bear bleats, “I can’t talk now, I’m on a conference call.” OK, that’s kind of funny.

It is the east (side) and Juliet is the sun – Juliet emerges from the wardrobe and makeup trailer, and yowza. She’s wearing a new red-and-black outfit, one arm bared to show off her alabaster skin. Her hair is flouncy and flaming red. But not as red as her cherry-is-so-very lips.

Caitlin: Now will you call Bobby? Juliet: I can’t. It’s late. But I will tomorrow.
Juliet glides away in her new outfit, leaving her old gray suit – six hundred dollars’ worth of dull – in the trailer.

Caitlin says under her breath, “No you won’t … but I will,” and takes out her cell phone. It’s such a fine line between busybody and caring friend.

At home – While Juliet does a model’s runway walk all the way home, her daughter, Emily, and idiot husband are arguing over Emily’s poor math scores. When Juliet walks in the front door, math is the last thing on Davis’ mind. He thinks the marriage counseling worked and his wife’s new garnish is for his dining pleasure. Someone please kill him.

Davis suggests they celebrate his new, hotter wife by going to Nobu tomorrow. Just then, Juliet gets a text from Caitlin telling her drinks with Bobby is confirmed. Juliet says, dripping with false regret, “Sorry, I have a date tomorrow.” Eat that, doofus.

At dinner – The girls have all changed their clothes, but I’m not sure what day it is anymore – they have more costume changes than Cher on her unending Farewell Tour. Every outfit is vibrant, colorful and a little nutty because Sex and the City and The Devil Wears Prada costumer (and lesbian!) Patricia Field is at work here.

While they wait for Zoe, Caitlin explains the white lie she told Bobby Walsh to lure him into the date trap with Juliet. She told him there was a business school reunion, the kind where someone calls you the day before and it happens to be five blocks away. Nothing suspicious there.

Zoe arrives and shows the girls her Construct-a-Guilt-Trip bear. Mia takes one look and asks, “Is it ticking?” I snorted a little. Zoe says she dreads going out to dinner with Victoria, the tofu whisperer, but Mia reminds her what they learned in school: “You can’t run from the fire. You have to walk into it. You have to take the enemy down. This is not a drill.” The Harvard Business School and Fire Academy. Perhaps you’ve heard of it?

The axe – In the office before the Ian Weber photography show, Mia spies Clive talking to Grant and panics that Clive is saying goodbye to a guy who doesn’t know he’s a dead man walking. Mia pulls Clive aside and says she doesn’t want to fire Grant and rattles off a list of reasons he’s an asset, giving him credit he doesn’t deserve. Clive is one of those rare bosses who actually knows what’s going on.

Clive: Grant is only there for moral support, which you think you need, but you don’t. Mia, at this level, decisions get tough. I thought you already knew that.
Mia suddenly looks sad for a moment. Aw, don’t worry about Guy Smiley. With his well turned-out style, knowledge of art and food, and quippy, free-loading ways, he has a great career ahead of him as a male escort to rich old ladies.

Propositions – Elsewhere, Zoe is running very late for the foursome dinner, and Victoria’s husband is “stuck in Boston,” leaving Eric in the restaurant alone with the MILF. And she’s not wearing a velour track suit anymore, if you know what I mean.

Over wine and shared experiences with absent spouses, Victoria lays it out for Eric: “The only safe affair is between two people who want to stay in their marriages. You have a good time, you go home. Nobody gets hurt.” She reaches across the table and touches his faithful arm, which is attached to his other faithful body parts. And right on cue, Zoe rushes in and sees them. Is it possible to be innocent and busted at the same time?

Reunion Juliet has re-created her makeover look and waits for Bobby Walsh at the bar of an upscale restaurant for their phony reunion. After he walks in, she admits it’s a reunion of two, but he doesn’t care about the ruse. In fact, he’s glad – he only wanted to reunite with her anyway.

Meanwhile, Zoe, Eric and Victoria are talking about shopping malls. Marriage takes all the interesting out of people. What’s next, coupons and how great the produce is at Fairway?

Then, right in front of Zoe, Victoria starts gushing about Eric’s kitchen designs. Most architects’ designs, she says, “come from here,” and points to her head. But Eric’s “come from here,” and she points to her heart. Her motives come from there – a place a foot and a half lower.

Victoria asks Eric to design a kitchen for her, promising it’ll be featured in Architectural Digest. Zoe immediately says he can’t; Eric says he can. Apparently he thinks that thing kicking him under the table is a New York City rat.

Also busted – And finally we find Caitlin and Alicia on their date, dancing the night away. They both look hot – Alicia is in a tight leather jacket and Caitlin, with her hair up in a pony tail, is in a cleavage-popping leopard-print top and big hoop earrings. As they dance to the mindless thumping, Alicia takes periodic glances down at Caitlin’s heaving breasts, and grins. They move closer together until, breathlessly, Alicia takes Caitlin by the waist and lays one on her. And then, along comes Mike, some guy Caitlin used to date. Ugh, I just lost my Little Miss Happy. Mike breaks into their private dance and yells at her like the clueless asshat he is, “Caitlin!” Dude, can’t you see she’s busy right now?

Mike: Wow! You’re looking guuuud, babe! Caitlin: Thank you. Mike: You gonna introduce me to your friend? Caitlin: Ah … Alicia, Mike. Mike, Alicia. Mike: [to Alicia] We used to date. [to Caitlin] ‘Course you never mentioned you played for both teams. Caitlin: I don’t, uh, that’s crazy, I don’t …
The Foot in Mouth Slide. The dance craze that’s sweeping the nation.

Alicia’s heard enough and politely says it’s been fun, it’s been real, too bad it hasn’t been real fun. She shakes lunkhead’s hand and tells Caitlin, “He seems like a nice guy … your type,” and walks off the dance floor, disappearing into the crowd.

Mike yells at Caitlin over the music, “You know what’s weird? You’re, like, the third chick that’s gone gay on me,” and smiles a dopey grin. No, really? I find that hard to believe. Disgusted, Caitlin pushes through the undulating masses and away from Mike, the Lesbian Maker. Let’s all thank Mike.

A standing invitation – Cut back to Juliet and her potential revenge-sex partner, Bobby. Bobby’s someone’s idea of a catch: good-looking, Remington Steele hair, velvety voice and gobs of money. He’s also willing to be whatever Juliet wants him to be, without making it sound sleazy. Juliet is intrigued. Juliet admits her one-night stand plans to Bobby. She sadly asks him if a bad marriage is better than no marriage. And this is supposed to be a smart woman. Are there no lessons from business school she can draw upon here? If the marriage’s infrastructure and operational processes result in undesirable horizontal scalability, would a review of strategies for future growth be warranted? What the hell am I talking about?

Outside, Juliet decides not to seal the deal just yet, but does leave Bobby with a sample of her product. An accusation – After the dinner where Eric seemed to be the main course, Zoe and the entree are home getting ready for bed. “So, I’m totally off base here? She’s not interested in you in that way?” Zoe prods Eric. He admits Victoria hit on him. Hard. But nothing would happen because he’s Mr. Zoe.

Eric’s point is that Victoria’s offer would be a career-defining opportunity, Architectural Digest and all.

Eric: I step back for you. I let you do what you want to do with work because I see it makes you happy. Can’t you do the same for me?
Zoe stares, not answering. Would “no” be the wrong answer? Stealing the deal – Mia and Grant are at Ian Weber’s oh-so-hip photography show. I love those shows; pictures of an old shoe or an elbow passing for art. How come when their pictures are blurry, it represents the ambiguity of a postmodern world, but when mine are blurry, it’s because I suck?

Mia gets Ian to agree to be her exclusive photog, whereby after a year, they would publish his coffee table book. There’s one catch, though. Ian wants the book to be the size of an actual coffee table. Artists are freaks of nature, and Mia’s face all but says so.

Ian looks at Grant as if this request is old news. Grant says, obsequious as can be, “I think it’s genius.”

Mia: Except that coffee tables come in many sizes. Ian: Therefore, you would have to order the book custom-made to fit your coffee table. [to Grant] I thought this was worked out?
Mia scrambles to mentally figure out why she feels like she’s out of the loop and, oh yeah, the only sane person in the room. Just then, Caitlin comes running into the gallery.

Mia excuses herself to see what other fires she needs to put out.

Mia: What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be on your “lady date”?
Ah, Mia, you slay me.
Caitlin: I screwed it up! We ran into this guy I used to go out with and I shoulda told him to get lost, but I didn’t. Mia: Ugh … Caitlin: I know! I just stood there, this guy I used to go out with on one side of me, and this girl I’m going out with on the other side of me, and I’m thinking to myself, “Do I even know how to have a relationship?” ‘Cause I don’t think I do! My life is like a romantic comedy that’s never romantic … or comedic. My life is nothing like a romantic comedy!
How cute is she when she’s babbling?

Mia so doesn’t have time for this now. Before she abandons Caitlin’s sinking ship, she assures her (in a guessing tone) that uh, sure, you are capable of having a successful relationship! Now go away, I have my own alligators biting at my ass. Mia goes back to confront Grant. Grant smugly tells Mia: “You want the deal, he wants the books. I’m just giving everyone what they want. You should be thanking me.”

And that’s the end of her rope. Mia replies, “Grant, you’re fired.”

Mia turns to Ian the ah-teest and puts her Jimmy Choo’d heel down. “I cannot make coffee table books the size of coffee tables,” she tells him. Ian gives her a bored “oh, well” shrug. And that’s that.

Grant grabs her and wants to know more about this nonsense about being fired, but Caitlin isn’t done processing her love life and comes back for more.

Grant: You’re actually firing me? You wouldn’t be where you are today, if it weren’t for me. Caitlin: [butting in] No, no, no. That’s not true. Mia: I can handle this! Caitlin: I just don’t want him to say things he’s gonna [to Grant’s face] regret later. I’m kinda an expert on that. Grant: Oh, you mean like when I said [to Mia] “You’re hired?” I shouldn’t regret that?
Mia wants to take it outside, but Grant will have none of it. Who knew Guy Smiley was a big ol’ drama queen?
Grant: [loudly] Everybody in this room knows what a bitch you are …
Mia and Caitlin look at Grant like he just told them they look like the softer side of Sears. Is anyone going to be punching anyone’s balls off?

The next day – Caitlin tells Mia last night’s blow-up is all over the internet. Sort of. It’s on mediabistro.com, a site for writers and publishers. Mia’s incredulous there’s no mention of her big-ass deal with Ian Weber; it’s all gossip about her fight with Grant. What? Really? Vicious gossip and schadenfreude on the internet? I don’t believe it.

Mia’s assistant Tracy hands her a folder and starts to walk away until Mia stops her. Immediately, anticipating her boss’s criticism, Tracy states the disparity in the sales figures and braces herself for a flogging.

Mia: I was just going to tell you, you did a really nice job. Tracy: Oh. Thanks. [long pause] I want to do what you did: work my way up. Mia: Well, that’s nice to know. Tell me, have you given any thought to what you want to do next? Tracy: Mm. Maybe something with Ian Weber? Mia: He can be very difficult … but I think you can handle it.
Mia rewards her new Mini-Mia with a pair of rocking shades from her sunglass tree.

At Juliet’s office, her diminutive secretary carries in two different flower deliveries – one from Davis, the other from Bobby. Her secretary says sarcastically, “Expecting any more?” Juliet sighs as she reads and re-reads Bobby’s card, fondling the paper between her fingers. Ah, yes. Revenge is a dish best served steaming hot, in a hotel room, with your cell phones off.

Mulligan – Alicia is leaving her office when Caitlin calls out her name. Was she waiting there, a little stalkery? Caitlin wants to know why Alicia left last night, because she has no clue. Nope, none in the world.

Alicia: Look, if someone doesn’t want to be on a date with me, then guess what? They don’t have to be on a date with me. Caitlin: I should have said it. I didn’t want to say it. He’d just asked me questions. Am I gay? Am I straight? Am I with you? These are things other people know about themselves that I, apparently, don’t know about myself. It’s really scary to realize you don’t know them.
Alicia looks at Caitlin with gentle eyes and waits.

Caitlin: I’ve never even had a really serious, really successful relationship … I don’t think I can honestly say I’ve even had a semi-serious, moderately successful relationship. These are things you should probably know about me before you get in a relationship with me. Alicia: Caitlin, we just met a week ago. We haven’t even had a complete date yet.
Hilarious. Which one is the lesbian again? ‘Cause Caitlin has the U-Haul thing down cold.
Caitlin: So, too soon for the R-word then?
If she means “R” as in relationship, yes, too soon! If she means relax, then no, not too soon. Right now would be good.

Caitlin admits she has a lot to learn. Alicia replies: “That’s OK. I’m an excellent teacher.” Caitlin’s hot for teacher, and they kiss right there on the sidewalk, causing an old biddy to almost run into a fire hydrant. OK, I admit, I’d stare a little, too. And probably fall off the curb and get hit by a bus.

Nice moves – At the Onassis School for Rich and Very Far Above Average Children, the long-awaited field day is about to begin. The children are off to see distant and exotic Harlem. And for reasons perhaps only Victoria knows, only three parents are allowed to join them, even though there’s a waiting list of other parents who’d like to go, too.

Zoe’s not about to let one manipulative woman get the better of her and says, “So I thought, ‘What if we made other arrangements?'” And lo, a double-decker bus pulls up with a dozen more parents waving and calling to their kids.

The class squeals with delight at the idea of family day in Harlem and rush the bus.

Zoe: Just so you know? I don’t blame you for hitting on my husband. He’s a good-looking guy. And he’s an adult; I trust him to make his own decisions. But don’t hit on my kids, ever again.
Juliet calls just as Zoe is about to board the Harlem Express. Victoria gets in her face and tries to defend the accusations before her. Zoe turns to her and says, “I can’t talk now, I’m on a conference call.” Burn!

Next week on Cashmere Mafia: Caitlin gets outed on a gossip blog before the ink is dry on Alicia’s new toaster warranty.

For more on the first two episodes, check out the latest Cashmere Mafia edition of She Made Me Watch This, with commentary on the character development, video clips of the lesbian storyline, and a discussion of how the current show differs from the original pilot.

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