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Bad Girls Recaps: Episode 3.16 “Coming Out”

THIS WEEK’S RAP SHEET:

The emancipated: Nikki starts a new life.

The liberated: Helen finally understands. The blessed: Us, because we got to see this.

Let’s start at the very beginning – Did you see the title of this episode? Oh my.

Pining and pins – Josh is pining for Crystal. Crystal is pining for Josh. See what happens when you let your morals (or your kleptomania, depending on whose perspective we’re taking here) interfere with love?

Meanwhile, Virginia is stepping carefully out of her cell on those miraculously healed pins of hers. She’s accompanied by much whistling and taunting, so Tina comes to her defense.

Tina: It’s not every day God pays a visit!
God? I’m just waiting for Nikki and Helen to pay a visit to the same room at the same time; that’s almost as unlikely these days.

After the crowd has dispersed, Tina asks Mark whether she can move to a different cell. He looks over at Maxi for guidance, but she just stares. I’ll say this for Maxi: She knows how to stare.

Big Gay Al: She is well taking the piss. You gonna let her get away with that?
And still Maxi just stares.

Now I’m staring – Fenner passes Helen in the hallway. But he doesn’t pass up the opportunity to taunt her.

Fenner: Decided to brazen it out, have you? Helen: I’m hardly gonna resign over a prisoner’s jottings and a couple of planted clues, am I?
Yes, I’m going to indulge myself one more time: Oh, the cleavage. (It could have been worse – I considered writing a Keatsian ode to it. To me, it’s that profound.)
Fenner: Fine. Well, let’s go and ask Barbara Hunt herself, shall we? Get her to tell us what she knows about that night. [as Helen turns to go] Unless you want her to lie for you.
A swath of tension and doubt spreads over Helen’s face. It’s accompanied by a sound effect that’s half suspense and half Fozzie Bear saying “wokka wokka.”
Fenner: You’d better make your mind up, Helen. ‘Cause if the appeal court finds out about Wade’s escape … [leaning close to Helen] I’ll have the both o’ ya.
More doubt, more tension, more wokka wokka – Fenner still knows how to make people squirm. Ouch – Maxi beats Tina with a bar of soap in a sock. Whoa! She doesn’t seem to feel great about it, though. She actually knits her brows a little, which is quite something in such an expressionless face.

The library – Ah, the library. These walls have seen so much of Helen and Nikki’s relationship: from flirting and curiosity to kissing and cuddling to jealousy and bitterness. And now they’re seeing panic and unraveling.

Nikki: Barbara will lie for us. Say that I put her up to it. The fantasies of a sex-starved con. Helen: The whole reason I came into this job was because I believed that I had principles. Nikki: Well, you have! That’s why you can’t leave! Helen: No, that’s why I can’t ask an inmate to lie for me. Nikki: That’s the least you can bloody well do. Helen: No, Nikki. It’s no good. Fenner has got far too much over me.
It seems wrong to say so, but Nikki is lovely when her heart is breaking.
Nikki: [pacing] Why does his luck hold out every bastard time?
Helen steps softly behind her, and although we can’t see anything for certain, I think she puts a hand on Nikki’s back. I base this supposition partly on Nikki’s shallowness of breath and continued agitation.

Helen: Hey. Pretty soon, you’re gonna be out of all this too. Nikki: That still leaves everybody else stuck in here with Fenner, doesn’t it? Helen: The best way you can get him is by winning your appeal. Nikki: [panicking] What if I don’t? What if they send me right back here? Helen: You mustn’t think like that. Nikki: Knowing I’ll never see you again … I know we’re only friends, I know that. But you were always more than someone I just fancied. You were my hope. Helen: Shh, Nikki … Nikki: How can I face another 10 years in this place with no hope? [crying] I can’t help feeling it’s all my fault … if you’d never met me, if we’d never got involved … I kept letting you down.
Oh, Nikki. You’ve done nothing, and if you have, we all forgive you!

Helen takes her by the shoulders and tries to get through to her.

Helen: Listen. You’ve gotta forget about me and focus on your future. Come on, promise me.
And then that f—ing idiot Dr. Waugh interrupts. Again.
Helen: No, it’s OK. I’ve gotta speak to you anyway. [after he leaves] Goodbye, Nikki.
Now my heart is breaking, and it’s not even a little bit lovely.

Right outside the door – Helen tells Thomas she’s leaving Larkhall and has had enough of Fenner.

Thomas: No, there’s no way you’d throw the towel in. Not now. Has he touched you again?! Helen: No. Thomas: Because if he has – Helen: He hasn’t. Thomas: Eh, well, there’s something you’re not telling me. I can read that. Helen: Don’t psychoanalyze me. I’m not one of your bloody patients. Thomas: I don’t understand why you’re lying to me.
Me me me. Jeez, Tom, not everything is about you and your stupid stretched-out collar. Seriously, how old is that T-shirt?
Helen: Because I don’t know how you’d react to the truth. Thomas: Try me! Helen: I can’t. Not yet. But I’ve made the right decision. You just have to trust me.
And you just have to not have these conversations while Nikki is two feet away. What must she be thinking?

Too little, too late – Di tries to apologize to Crystal, but Crystal knows Di is evil. Short scene: It’s easy when you’re just presenting facts.

Karen’s office – Helen announces that she’ll be leaving Larkhall this afternoon.

Karen: Well, what’s prompted this? Helen: Oh, that’s easy. [looking at Fenner, who happens to be present] It was Jim. Karen: You’re not still banging that old drum.
Interesting turn of phrase, Miss Shacked-Up-With-Slime.
Helen: He’s been playing you since day one, Karen. He’s a misogynist bastard. And I am sick to the bloody back teeth trying to get you to see it. So I’m done. He’s all yours.
And on that note, she just saunters out, leaving Fenner looking paralyzed and Karen shaking her head.

“Misogynist bastard” – is there anything better than an insult composed of a big word and a bad word? Rrrawr.

The minute Helen leaves, panicked Fenner thanks Karen for believing in him and confesses that he’s “after something.”

Fenner: I wanna marry you.
Well, that’s certainly the ultimate distraction. Before Karen can process that, Josh interrupts to ask for a transfer off G Wing. Everyone’s jumping ship, Miss Betts! Have you considered that perhaps you’re the iceberg?

Packing up – Thomas is helping Helen pack up her office. And by “helping,” I mean “needling.”

Thomas: Well, that’s my betting days over, then. I just never thought you’d walk away and let Fenner win.
Helen whips her head around. Sic ’em! Kill it!

Helen: OK, so he won. Rub it in. Make me feel worse than I already do.
Yeah, Tom. You suck.
Thomas: I’m sorry. Helen: Don’t you think if I had one shred of hope … Thomas: It’s just … you know, you were so determined. Helen: I have gone to the wire fighting the s— in this service. Thomas: And resign if you want. That is your right. [heading for the door] Come on. Over a drink, yeah? Helen: Yeah, a big bevy-load.
I don’t know why certain words improve so much under that accent, but they definitely do. “Big bevy-load” sounds as pretty as “raindrops on roses.”

Helen takes an envelope with her. The music lets us know it’s an important envelope.

The warpath – Nikki is stomping around, enraged. Isn’t it sexy?

Barbara: I’m so sorry, Nikki. I hid the diary so carefully; I thought it was safe. Nikki: [whipping her head around just like Helen did] This is prison, darling. Nothing’s safe in here. Yvonne: [passing by] What’s up? Nikki: Stewart’s resigned.
Even Yvonne finds that alarming.

Parting shots – Fenner finds Helen as she is leaving. Thomas stares him down, but Helen shoos Thomas away so she can have her own moment.

Helen: You know one of the good things about walking away from a job? All of a sudden you realize you’ve got nothing left to lose. I may be on my way out, Jim, but I am gonna drag you all the way down with me. Enjoy it while it lasts.
Fenner doesn’t say a word. I think he’s actually scared.

One last pine – Nikki is peering out her cell window as Helen departs. Looks so familiar, doesn’t it? And just like she did after Sean burned his wedding suit on the Larkhall lawn, Helen peers back, knowing Nikki is watching and looking heartbroken all over again.

Off to court – The next morning, Nikki is looking very dashing in her suit. She asks Di who her escorts are for her day in court.

Di: Me … and, uh, Mr. Fenner. Nikki: Make a special request, did he?
Babs interrupts to wish Nikki good luck, and Nikki happily accepts the encouragement. Two things we know about Nikki: She despises injustice and she doesn’t hold grudges. She’s a catch!

In the car, Fenner cuffs himself to Nikki.

Fenner: Comfy? Scrubs up quite nice for a dyke, doesn’t she, Di?
And then Fenner pulls Nikki’s hand over to his lap so that it briefly rests on his thigh.
Nikki: You s—ting ff… you do that again, I’ll break your frickin’…
Di tells Nikki to calm down. I’m sure Fenner’s breath would agitate anyone, let alone the nearness of his crotch.

In court – The barrister makes her case. There are three grounds for appeal: The defense of provocation was never presented; the judge did not instruct the jury to consider that defense; the police failed to disclose material evidence.

Marion the barrister: Counsel therefore submits the original verdict of murder to be unsafe.
Unsafe! English law is so much cuter somehow. It’s probably the wigs.

The court agrees to hear the testimony of an ex-colleague of the cop Nikki killed. Fenner, who has been muttering in Nikki’s ear, telling her she has no chance, bites his tongue. Not in a sexy Helen way, but in a good way nonetheless.

The prison yard – Maxi and Virginia are fighting for Tina’s affections. Not like that; that would be gross.

Virginia: [to Maxi] You know what they say about bullies, don’t you? They’re just angry little cowards inside.
Virginia saunters off, Tina in tow. Yvonne tells Maxi that Tina’s going to end up in a brothel.
Maxi: Mind your business. Yvonne: It is my business since she’s doing deals with Fenner. So you better get your gang in order quick. Or I’ll do it for ya.
Yawn. I mean, ordinarily I find Yvonne’s goings-on rather fascinating, but come on. Nikki’s in court and Helen has quit – get back to what matters!

What matters – Sally Ann Howe is telling the court that Det. Gossard raped her. The prosecution asks her why she withdrew the charges; she replies that Gossard and his colleagues threatened her, of course. She is a convincing witness, but perhaps not convincing enough:

Icky prosecutor: We only have your word for it, Miss Howe. We cannot ask the man in question, D.C. Gossard, to defend himself, can we? Because that man is dead.
Nikki’s face says, “Oh, crap.”

More Larkhall drama we don’t care about – Crystal still isn’t eating. Meanwhile, Maxi pretends to make friends with Virginia. Yvonne looks on with her eagle eyes and hawkish nose. She confronts them, and ends up making her case to the listening crowd:

Yvonne: Just so you all know, Jim Fenner’s got St. Bloody Virginia here in his pocket.
I love it when the whole crowd oohs and aahs. I wish I could put “Larkhall Ooh-er No. 9” on my resume.

Yvonne explains all the details of Virginia’s “cozy arrangement” with Fenner, but all it gets her is down the block for slanderizing an officer.

Hollamby: Anyone else want bangin’ up?
I hope that will be Hollamby’s last line of the series. It’s the perfect shrieky, cranky note for her to go out on. The case continues – Nikki’s barrister presents more evidence: Gossard at first said he did not know Sally Ann Howe, but after the forensic evidence proved she had had intercourse, he changed his statement and insisted it was consensual.
Marion the barrister: I ask your Lordships: Is that the action of an honest man?
I keep wanting to say, “Amen!” And again I blame the wigs. The judges confer and the crowd mutters. Claire (who is Nikki’s solicitor but not her barrister) looks hopefully at her client.

The chapel of loonies – Crystal and Virginia are praying together in the chapel. Crystal has some news: She’s pregnant.

Virginia: That’s marvelous. The miracle of life.

Crystal: Oh, no, you don’t get it. I’m a virgin.

Clearly her hunger strike has affected her brain. For once, Virginia’s stretched, weird face shows just the right expression. The bottom line – The defense is about to rest:
Marion the barrister: Nicola Wade reacted. Overreacted. And as a consequence, a man died. But in my submission, D.C. Gossard’s actions clearly amounted to provocation. In the light of this evidence, counsel for the Appellant implores you Lordships to uphold this appeal and let Nicola Wade go free.
I felt like a court reporter for a minute there.

Counsel for the Crown has a few (im)pertinent words to share, particularly Nikki’s own: “There was a hell of a lot of blood, and I didn’t regret one drop of it.”

Nikki looks up at Trish, who has been watching from the peanut gallery. She looks sort of weird, but I guess I’ve always thought that about her. The court adjourns until the next morning. Nikki goes back to Larkhall, where Barbara is waiting for the report. Nikki’s glum face tells her all she needs to know.

Speaking of the peanut gallery – The two Julies and Yvonne are teasing Crystal about her “miracle.”

Yvonne: Here. You can’t fix it for the Holy Spirit to visit my cell after dark, could ya? Only, you know, it’s been a while.
Mark interrupts the hilarity; Miss Betts wants to see Crystal.

As Yvonne goes her own way, Fenner stops her and says nobody will believe her about the brothels now that “soppy Stewart” is gone. Yvonne points out that Virginia was the one who sang like a bird.

I know I should care what happens to Fenner – I should want him to get his due – but Nikki’s case is so much more interesting. Can I be a court reporter all the time, instead of a recapper?

Fenner has one more person to bother: Thomas, who says he believes everything Helen says.

Fenner: Very commendable. I know I couldn’t stand by a woman who was shagging behind my back. Thomas: You just don’t know when to stop, do you? Fenner: She has told you, then, about her and Nikki Wade? They’ve been screwing each other for months, apparently. That’s why she had to resign, ’cause it all threatened to come out, so to speak.
And finally Thomas punches him.
Fenner: Strike a chord, Doctor?
Heh.

Clearing the air – Thomas and Helen are having dinner. Helen is feeling good; she’s already had two job interviews.

Thomas: So that’s it, then? Larkhall’s just forgotten about. Helen: I’ll miss it. Already do in some ways. Thomas: But you left because of Fenner, right? Helen: And because I realized that I’ve got choices in life. I can choose where I wanna work. [putting her hand on his] And who I wanna be with.
Thomas pulls his hand away and gulps some wine. Helen turns her attention to the restaurant, muttering about ordering and how good the salmon looks.
Thomas: You’d tell me, wouldn’t you, if there was someone else? Helen: What’s brought this on? Thomas: Because I think we get on really well together. Helen: We do. Thomas: It’s just sometimes I feel like just when I’m getting close, like we’re connecting, I run into this wall. Helen: This is starting to sound heavy.
Heavy, heavy; you got so heavy, baby!
Helen: Can we discuss it later? Thomas: I need to discuss it now.
Is it me, or is it always about what he needs?
Thomas: I’ve had an inkling something’s not been right for a while. Like there’s something you’re not telling me. Helen: I don’t know where this is going. And I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Also, I’m starving and the salmon looks good, mmkay?
Thomas: I’m talking about Nikki Wade.
I think Helen has just lost her appetite.

The Larkhall laundry room – Fenner is admiring Maxi’s tight jeans and telling her how much he likes a strong woman. He encourages Maxi to knock Yvonne off her perch. Maxi tucks a red bra in his pocket as she goes.

Maxi: Foreplay, Mr. Fenner.
And now I’ve lost my appetite too.

It all comes out – At the restaurant, things aren’t getting any less awkward.

Helen: It was over before you and I – Thomas: The stupid thing is, it all makes sense now. Helen: Thomas, listen to me. Nikki and I, it’s old news. Thomas: Not to me it isn’t. [shouting, shocking the restaurant into silence] And I had to stand there and hear it from Jim bloody Fenner! Helen: I was going to tell you. I was just waiting for it to blow over. Thomas: You risked a career you love to be with her. Now, I obviously don’t know you half as well as I thought I did, but I know you wouldn’t have done that unless it was pretty damn serious. Helen: You know what prison’s like. It’s its own little world. Things get twisted and distorted.
Helen, on behalf of Nikki, I must tell you that was not cool. Distorted, my eye, as Hollamby might say.
Thomas: Or maybe it helped unlock something that you’ve been denying. Helen: No, I don’t deny that I cared for Nikki. but I’m away from Larkhall now. I’m with you. Thomas: I’m not a quick fix.

Helen: [irritated] I know that. Thomas: Do you.

And Thomas stands up to go. She asks him to stay, but he’s not sure why he should.
Thomas: I’ve been hurt before because someone wasn’t honest with me. But you, Helen … you’re not even being honest with yourself.
Well then. Maybe this guy isn’t so bad after all.

Helen just sits there, stopped in her tracks.

Too far – At lockup, Fenner asks Di what she thinks of Nikki’s case.

Di: I think she stands a good chance. Fenner: Not if you put a spanner in the works.
Fenner asks Di to plant some sort of X-acto knife on Nikki. Di refuses, so Fenner threatens to expose her illicit search of Nikki’s cell (you know, the one he ordered her to do). And he reminds her again that he knows about her mother.
Di: I think I’ve paid you back enough for that favor.
Wow, Di actually does have some kind of common sense left! Who knew?

A long night – Nikki is sleepless in her cell. The Julies call out the window, wishing her sweet dreams.

Nikki: You too, Julies.
I hope she leaves that robe behind whenever she does get out. It’s not exactly flattering.

The big send-off – As Nikki prepares to go back to court, all the cons gather and cheer her on, chanting “Go, Nikki” all up and down the wing. And a line forms to bid her farewell, starting with Karen.

Karen: You have a lot to offer, Nikki. I hope you get the chance to prove it.
Nikki promises to write Shaz. The two Julies give her a little homemade horseshoe trinket and tell her, “If you can’t be legal, be lucky.” Aww.

Hollamby: Hurry it up, Wade. This isn’t a flamin’ Oscar ceremony.
Heh. Yeah, that was a good note to go out on too. Meanwhile, Yvonne is too tearful to be poetic.
Yvonne: Just don’t dare come back here, or you’ll have me to deal with. Keep your head down, yeah?
Aww again! I’m getting all verklempt. After they break their embrace, they both hastily move away, as if they’re ashamed of showing the cracks in their machisma.

The last hug is from Barbara; she says she has so much to thank Nikki for. So does everyone, it seems. They all cheer loudly as she heads for the exit. She stops and leaves them with one last message: Stay strong.    

Sniffle. Nikki, you’re the best.

Back in court – Even though that big goodbye scene clued us in to what’s about to happen, I’m still tense as Claire tells Nikki to “keep it shut” no matter what the judges say.

Nikki is ordered to stand as the verdict is announced:

Judge: My fellow judges and I have found this to be a difficult, worrying, and complex case. There is no doubt that the appellant, Nicola Wade, was indeed responsible for the taking of D.C. Gossard’s life – in a most vicious manner. Nothing we have heard during this appeal has disputed that fact. However, we have been convinced that Miss Wade’s actions were the result of provocation by D.C. Gossard. This court rules that the original conviction be substituted with that of manslaughter. We impose a reduced sentence of three years’ imprisonment … time that has already been served. Nicola Wade, you are free to go.
Yes! The court erupts into cheers and applause. Nikki is in shock.

Di: Nikki. You’re free!
Fenner glowers as Trish runs down to hug Nikki and Claire runs over to do the same.
Claire: Result!
Nikki thanks Marion the barrister too. Everyone’s so happy!
Claire: I can’t wait to call Helen. She’s gonna be so pleased. Trish: Not half as pleased as I am.
Jealousy only makes you look weirder, Trish.

The celebration continues – At Larkhall, the inmates watch the news and hear about Nikki’s release. They cheer some more, and some more and some more. You know how Nikki said Helen was her hope? I think maybe Nikki is everyone else’s hope now.

The courthouse steps – Nikki makes a statement for the press. (Check out the way Marion and Claire are practically cuddling in the background. Lawyers in love!)

Nikki: It goes without saying I’m delighted to be set free. Prison’s a terrible place. [seeing Fenner on the sidewalk] People don’t know half of what goes on. There are male officers employed on female residential wings, abusing vulnerable women. Anyway. I was one of the lucky few inside to get access to some real education. And there’s one woman I’ve got to thank for that, because she always believed in me. No matter how tough things got. I owe that woman not only my freedom, but also my life.
Little does Nikki know that Helen is watching the whole thing on TV as she drowns her sorrows at the bar. I think she would tell Nikki that she owes her nothing and has given her everything.

More complex relationships – Josh tells Crystal to quit pretending she’s the second virgin mother and confess to Miss Betts. “You gotta tell Miss Betts the troof.” Sheesh, honesty is rampant in this episode.

But love is not all around. Yvonne asks Di if she can take a bath, and Di says yes. Then Virginia asks if she can have a soak too. It’s not like it sounds, which is good because the mere notion is fairly nauseating.

Bar girls – Nikki and Trish are partying at their club, which is unfortunately named Chix. Nikki is smoking and drinking and grinning, but she’s not exactly at ease.

Trish: All a bit too much, too soon? Nikki: I keep expecting someone to come and tell me it’s time for lockup. Trish: Anyone in particular? Nikki: Trisha … Trish: I know you, Nikki. You don’t make speeches like that for all the girls. She must have really got to you. Nikki: Helen was there for me when most people would’ve run a mile. Trish: You mean like I did?
Uh, yeah, actually. Nikki tells her she didn’t expect a vow of celibacy, and toasts to new beginnings. But she doesn’t look very optimistic.

Another false start – Fenner is following up on that proposal idea. He presents Karen with a ring and she says yes. He pants like a puppy and runs to get some champagne. While he’s gone, Karen sifts through the pile of stuff on her desk. She finds that envelope Helen was carrying way back at the beginning of the episode. Inside is a folder labeled “Statement of sexual assault, committed by Jim Fenner against Helen Stewart.” That’s a hell of a prenup.

Bath time – Virginia seems to want to make some sort of deal with Yvonne, but Yvonne tells her she’d better turn Fenner in instead. Guess who’s listening around the corner, clutching his bottle of champagne? (Sorry, that sounded like a euphemism.)

The wing office – There’s a phone call for Hollamby. It’s “mail order customer service,” calling about a bed she ordered. Of course Hollamby hasn’t ordered a bed, and of course the caller isn’t a customer service professional.

Caller: How would you rate your husband’s performance on the mattress? Or is he still more comfy in a coffin?
Shell! Leave it to Shell to get so bored, she’ll jeopardize her freedom just to make a prank phone call.

Hollamby freaks out while Shell and Denny (who are still on the boat) laugh and laugh.

The bathroom – Yvonne has her walkman on and appears to be listening to techno. Techno?! I’d expect something like Tom Jones or maybe David Bowie. I can’t really imagine Yvonne at a rave.

In the stall next door, somebody pulls Virginia under the suds and drowns her.

Across a crowded room – Nikki and Trish are still celebrating. Someone enters the bar; Trish notices and says, “I think there’s someone here to see you.” Yes, it’s Helen. She waves when Nikki looks over.

Nikki: Hey. Helen: Hey! Nikki: How did you find out I was here? Helen: [tapping her nose] Bit of detective work. I had to see ya. Tell you how happy I am for ya. Nikki: It’s all a bit of a dream right now. Helen: You’ll get used to it. Nikki: I’d never have done it without you, Helen. You know that? You stood by me when no one else gave a damn. If you knew how much that meant … Helen: I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.
They hold each other’s gazes for what feels like an hour. A delicious, blissful hour.

Helen: Nikki …
But before she can finish that thought, she sees Trish, who is looking at her like a possessive mama bear.
Helen: Look, I’d better go. Nikki: Someone waiting for ya? Helen: Have a wonderful night.
And Helen gives her one more tongue-tastic smile before she goes. Nikki just watches longingly, as she has so many times before – but this time with something like acceptance.

Framed – Di finds Virginia dead in the tub. Yvonne is standing in the stall, shaking and horrified. This is all nice and convenient for Fenner, isn’t it?

Moving on – Nikki wants to get blasted. Trish teases her, telling her not to get too drunk, but Nikki can’t imagine why. When she realizes Trish is trying to suggest some hanky-panky, she just seems kind of annoyed.

Trish: If you run, you can still catch her. Nikki: She’s not interested in me. Trish: Of course she’s bloody interested. Just go.
Aww. That’s big of you, Trish. Now get the hell out of the way of Nikki’s story line.

Nikki runs out the door. Trish takes a big swig from a bottle of champagne, resigned to her fate like a just-written-out soap star.

At last – Nikki steps out into the broad daylight. She sees a cab going by and assumes Helen is in it.

Helen: [from somewhere behind Nikki] You lookin’ for someone? Nikki: [spinning on her heels, then striding toward Helen] Thought it was a bit rude not to ask you to stay for a drink. Helen: Well, I figured if I waited out here long enough … Nikki: So … do you wanna come back in? Helen: Could stay for one, I suppose. Nikki: Well, that is, unless there’s somewhere else you’ve gotta be. Helen: [shaking her head, taking a deep breath] Thomas and I split up. I’ve been such an idiot, Nikki. Nikki: I know what you’re saying. Helen: No. Let me say it. Thomas is gorgeous. He’s everything you would want in a man.

Helen: But I want a woman.

Nikki’s face is a flurry of emotion, from startled to thrilled to relieved to grateful. She sighs, blinks back the tears, and smiles.

Nikki: We’ll take things slowly. Helen: Yeah. Dead slow.
And finally, in a moment that releases the longing and ache of too many nights, too many words, too many rules and bars and locks and gates, they kiss. Again. Deeply. They break apart briefly and take each other in. Helen looks around, and then takes Nikki’s lapels and pulls her into the club doorway so they can kiss some more. Nikki slides down and pulls her bird close. Can you possibly see that enough times? I cannot believe they actually got their happy ending. It was so romantic – downright swoon-inducing. And nothing like this has happened on American TV, so I say hooray for the U.K.!

   

I love them.

A last glimpse of Larkhall – Yvonne protests her innocence, but before you know it, she’s being dragged down the block. She manages to spit at Fenner along the way, but he just keeps on smirking. Well, that’s quite a contrast to the preceding loveliness.

The high seas – A Spanish-speaking cop finds Denny and Shell and gives them a little speech.

Shell: What’s that mean in English, knobhead?
It means they’re under arrest, of course. So they do the only thing they can do: They jump. And a last glimpse at the lovebirds – It’s a cinematic close. Cue the fan fic! That is, without a doubt, the most satisfying thing I’ve ever seen. Because visibility matters, and chemistry is rare. Kudos to Shed Productions and the writers for giving us a pitch-perfect fairy tale, and to Simone Lahbib and Mandana Jones for bringing it to life so beautifully.

The End. That’s it for me and Bad Girls – I won’t be recapping later seasons. Thanks for reading, and now let’s go rewatch all the Helen-Nikki scenes, starting with that last one!

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