Five reasons why I loved/hated my TV in 2007

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Whenever I see someone with

one of those “Kill Your Television” bumper stickers, I feel two distinct

emotions. One, shut up, Smuggy McSmugerson. I bet you don’t read the

copies of The New Yorker in your bathroom either. And two, yeah, sometimes

I do feel like taking a 12-gauge to the old idiot box. This year I got

my usual mix of joy and pain from my television. The highs were so very

fantastic. The lows so very sucktastic. Here’s a rundown of my top and bottom

five TV shows for 2007.

Five I Loved:

1) 30 Rock: Everything about

this show, well, rocks. It’s smart, funny, geeky and good to the gays

— just like its creator, Tina Fey. She is the antidote to the mediocrity

that keeps trying to choke our culture into submission. This show alone

is reason enough to own a television.

2) Pushing Daisies: The facts

are these: The most inventive new show on television involves dead people

and fruit pies. Like Disney for adults, this Technicolor daydream does

whimsy proud. Don’t you just wish you had a pocket-sized Kristin Chenoweth

of your very own?

3) Damages: Piecing this treacherous

moral puzzle together each week was a true TV treat. Throw in a Machiavellian

Glenn Close and smart women in power suits, and I’ll follow this case

through the legal system as long as it takes.

4) Bones/House combo: Call

me lazy or call me happy to not have to pick up the remote for a solid

two hours, but Fox’s Tuesday night one-two punch of spooks/squints

and docs/diagnosis was consistently crisp and engaging. Heck, I’d even

root for a crossover episode. Bones meets House? Misanthropes unite!

5) Saving Grace: Great TV has

complex characters, smart writing and great acting. This show pulls

the hat trick with ease. That we get to see a lot of Holly Hunter naked

doesn’t hurt either.

5.5) Ugly Betty: Hey, it’s

my list and I can cheat if I want to. When frothy meets fun, a good

time is had by all. Plus, America Ferrera actually makes me feel good

about the future of young Hollywood.

Five I Hated:

1) Bionic Woman: I had considered

making this all five reasons. Because when it comes to disappointments,

none were bigger, faster or stronger than this. No amount of ripped

abs can make up for insipid storytelling and a lackluster lead. Sarah

Corvus, we hardly knew ya.

2) Cavemen: A friend made me

watch the pilot. That was not a good friend. It was like evolution never

happened.

3) Dirt: I wanted to like this

show. And in theory, it seemed like I would. But in reality, it was an

oppressively joyless exercise in Courteney Cox giving the tabloids the

middle finger. How do you make a show about gossip so glum?

4) A Shot at Love With Tila

Tequila
: Life is too short. The list of books I still haven’t read

is too long. And real tequila probably kills fewer brain cells. Though,

Dani? Duh, hottie.

5) Keeping Up With the Kardashians:

I’m pretty sure the existence of this show is a harbinger of the apocalypse.

When it starts raining toads, it’s every woman for herself.

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