“A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila” Recaps: “I Choose …”


My favorite part of the tour is when Tila points out the chandelier made of glass (or plastic) vibrators. No, that’s my second favorite part. My real favorite is watching the reaction shots to the vibrating chandelier.

Dani’s mom asks Tila if making her final decision is difficult, and then launches into her sales pitch for her daughter. Dani’s mom is pimping!

Dani’s mom: Look at this person right here. She’s good people. You don’t get anyone more genuine than her.

Then Bobby’s mom launches into her spiel for Bobby, which turns into a platform for all of her other tedious opinions, among them, "There should never be two women in the kitchen." Ugh. Bobby beams as he tells us that though his mom isn’t holding anything back tonight, he loves her. I think he still has A Shot at Love With His Own Mother!

Tila tells the moms that she’s "mad" about Bobby and "crazy" about Dani, which kicks off a debate over whether "mad" is better than "crazy," which is dumb because everyone knows that "clinically insane" trumps all.

As Bobby’s bitchy mom spouts catty remarks with a big grin on her face at Dani’s mom, Dani shifts uncomfortably in her chair and clenches her jaw. Something tells me this isn’t this first time she’s had to listen to two women fight over her. And after her star-making turn as the featured futch on this show, it probably won’t be the last.

Tila puts an end to the debate by offering to take everyone to the room in the house that they haven’t seen. And we all know what that means

Welcome to the jungle — Tila takes the whole gang down to her dungeon, and all hell breaks loose. Tila says: "Bobby’s mom is a wild woman! She was the first one to get on that pole!" Cut to Bobby’s mom twirling and stumbling around. No, she doesn’t fall on her head like alleged professional exotic dancer Vanessa did, but she has definitely not been watching her Carmen Electra Aerobic Striptease DVDs (whereas I would like to be watching one right now).

Bobby tells us that he is "scarred for life" from watching his mother work a pole, and I couldn’t agree with him more. Continuing to kiss ass even in the room where paddling would be more appropriate, she calls to Tila, "Get up there and show me how it’s done, girlfriend!"

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