We’re Getting Nowhere: “America’s Next Top Model” Episode 9.11


We’re getting down to it now; we’re in the home stretch of this season of America’s Next Top Model. And if it weren’t for the boredom factor of the last few episodes, the suspense would be killing us!

This week, we were missing our girl Jill Bennett (who is shooting a movie), so we invited another gorgeous, funny lesbian, comedian Bridget McManus, to fill in for her. Bridget is like that substitute teacher you had planned to harass and whose life you were going to make a living hell (just because you can), until you walked into the classroom, looked her up and down, said, "Vavoom!" and decided instead to give her the eye and a big, shiny apple. Or a big, shiny apple martini. Whatever works for you.

And did I mention that Bridget can totally rock a monocle?

Anyway, Bridget shared the sofa with me and Dara this week, bearing witness to (the cringe-fest of) the traditional ANTM go-sees, Bianca finally shutting up and just winning a challenge, and Jenah pissing off Tyra.

In addition, Bridget arrived with a slew of wigs (is she perfect for us or what?!) and an open mind, which you all know is a dangerous combination in the We’re Getting Nowhere world. Behold her brilliance in not one but two reenactments!

In addition to the pitfalls of international go-sees, this week we discuss:

  • What Jenah and Amy Winehouse have in common
  • Which of the Top Model contestants is the biggest ass-kisser ("the biggest kisser of asses" is probably a better way to say that)
  • Why we will never stop loving Heather

The "lost" Top Model contestants stood us up this week because they were, well, lost. Rumor has it that on the way to their go-sees, they asked Heather for directions. We think they will have found their way back to the hotel by the season finale.

Finally, WGN is on hiatus next week, but will return the following week and encompass two weeks’ worth of ANTM escapades!

America’s Next Top Model Video Blog: Episode 9.11

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