Lesbian hair makes a comeback (hey, stop snickering)

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Ahhh, lesbian hair. That much-maligned

subject of punch lines everywhere. Historically, gay women’s

hairstyles haven’t always had the best reputation. And I’m not even

going to mention the dreaded M-word. While I have no problem with business

in the front, party in the back when it comes to your personal life,

I refuse to accept it on your head. But I believe we’ve turned a corner

here in the hair club for women. Why else would so many stars be rocking

the lesbian hair of late?

I’m not just talking seventh-grade-gym-teacher hair either. I speak of all the chic, often cropped

cuts the ladies of TV and film have been sporting everywhere. It’s

gotten to the point that even seemingly straight stars have started

suffering from lesbian twin syndrome. I’m dying for Women’s Murder

Club
and Bionic Woman

to do a crossover episode so these two can scream: “Lesbian Twins

activate! Form of — haircut!”

So with that, let’s examine,

and of course rate, the trend of lesbian locks.

Mena Suvari: The

American Beauty
and Six Feet Under

star’s short blonde crop almost begs you to rub it. Or, er, maybe

that’s just me.

Lesbian Quotient: 9

(like a fuzzy Sinead O’Connor)

Mariska Hargitay: The

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit


star keeps it sensible and sleek.

Lesbian Quotient: 6

(bonus points for carrying her own groceries)

Laura Harris:

The first time I saw her hair, I did a double take — it was that gay.

Lesbian Quotient:

10 (it’s a chic version of The Rosie)

Molly Price:

Even Sarah Corvus took one look at that hair and asked if she was a

lesbian.

Lesbian Quotient:

10 (that’s some bionically lesbian hair, people)

Alana De La Garza:

The Law & Order A.D.A. lays down the law with her take-me-seriously

hair.

Lesbian Quotient:

7 (case closed)

Kirsten Vangsness:

The Criminal Minds sleuth is working Bettie Page bangs, pink

streaks and hipster glasses.

Lesbian Quotient:

6 (for accessories alone)

Jennifer Love Hewitt:

Since she is a Ghost Whisperer, you have to figure at least 10

percent of those ghosts are gay, right?

Lesbian Quotient:

2 (but just for the bandana)

Cote de Pablo:

The NCIS star sports one of the all-time lesbian staples — the

ponytail.

Lesbian Quotient:

5 (we split this one 50-50 with sporty gals)

Selma Blair:

The Hellboy and Cruel Intentions

actress looked more the part earlier this year in those Gap ads.

Lesbian Quotient:

4 (sometimes a pixie cut is just a pixie cut)

Rumer Willis:

The spawn of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore

gets extra credit for putting the moves on the spawn of Lenny Kravitz

and Lisa Bonet.

Lesbian Quotient:

8 (hands, hands!)

Kathryn Morris:

I have no idea what’s going on with the Cold Case

star’s hair this season and, to be honest, I don’t think we should

claim it.

Lesbian Quotient:

1 (should it look like a mushroom?)

Victoria Beckham:

Posh brunette or Posh blonde — these are the central questions of our

time.

Lesbian Quotient:

3 (with a point for the cap)

Zac Efron:

Oh, wait; he may not be in the right category.

Lesbian Quotient:

10 (Daniela Sea, your stunt double has arrived)

Jodie Foster:

In The Brave One, the Oscar winner was working a haircut circa

her Freaky Friday days.

Lesbian Quotient:

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